


Peer Pressure

by tpressheath



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, I love miss Cindy I'm sorry for making her mean, cheerleader christen, soccer player tobin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:05:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23122402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpressheath/pseuds/tpressheath
Summary: Tobin's parents control her life and her soccer career down to the second, what happens when the most popular girl in school becomes a distraction for the soccer player? (aka I'm shit at summary's but give this a chance anyway;)
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 226
Kudos: 388





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!! I hope you all enjoy chapter 1; I have number two mostly planned out however I will give the disclaimer that I am an extremely busy college students so constant updates are NOT guaranteed. I hope you all enjoy chapter 1 and let me know if you have any suggestions or requests for things to happen in this story:)

“Shit,” Tobin mumbled to herself as Lindsey called her off the field for a sub in the 80th minute. 

There was always something. 

She could never make it through a game without one minor occurrence that would send her parents on a rampage. 

The sun was pouring down onto the pitch during the early evening game in Carson, California and Tobin wiped sweat front the back of her neck with her jersey and tugged her worn down elastic out of her hair, re-tying it up in a half bun as she jogged off the pitch.

The team was up by four goals and it wasn’t at all speaking to Tobin’s performance in the game —simply getting some fresh legs in and likely an attempt to conserve her energy for the team’s upcoming game three days from now. But Tobin cursed silently, knowing she would get an earful from her parents tonight about getting subbed out, whether it was performance-related or not. 

She didn’t let it show of course—because then she’d be dealing with both the aftermath of being subbed out  _ and _ having a bad attitude. So she smiled, patted Lindsey on the back and took her place on the bench as the remaining ten minutes of the game ticked away, cheering when necessary and shouting out helpful advice when called for to her teammates. 

She avoided looking into the stands where she knew her parents would be sitting—off to the side and by themselves, watching Tobin intently, waiting for any additional incidents that they could use against her after the match. 

When there were only two minutes left in the game, Tobin felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find Ali smiling at her mischievously. “I think someone is trying to get your attention T.” The older girl pointed across the field to where the cheerleaders stood on the sideline. Tobin’s eyes scanned until they met those of Christen Press, who smiled widely at having gained the midfielder’s attention. The older girl waved sweetly, to which Tobin just sat, stunned and slightly confused at the interaction. “Tobin!” Ali chastised. “Wave back! When a pretty girl waves at you you wave back!” The defender grabbed Tobin’s hand and raised it up—aiding her in the basic movement that Tobin seemed to be struggling with. 

The soccer player waved quickly with a shy smile before bringing her hand back down and averting her gaze, missing the glowing smile and small laugh let out by the cheerleader who then turned her attention back to the game. 

Or she tried to anyway. Tobin couldn’t even be bothered to think about her parents seeing her get distracted by a girl during a game because she was too busy trying to figure out what the hell that wave meant. She spent the remaining one hundred and eighty seconds of the game trying to unpack the minuscule interaction before the final whistle blew and she was brought out of her mind. 

The midfielder went through the motions with her team, shaking hands with the opponents and leading a quick cool-down stretch. 

Tobin was usually very adept to blocking out any and all background noise in her life—however, as she stretched out on the perfectly cut grass of her highschool’s soccer pitch she couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes on her that belonged to someone other than her incredulous parents whose own gaze she had blocked completely out of her sensory vision years ago. 

“Tobinnn, Christen Press is totally checking you out again.” The senior defender whispered—causing Tobin’s head to whip around and find the source of the gaze. 

Sure enough, she was met with piercing green eyes for the second time that night. Christen was standing with a group of fellow cheerleaders, but the captain’s focus was entirely on Tobin as she gave a blinding smile and what appeared to be an attempt at a wink that resulted in both her eyes shutting part way. 

To say Tobin was confused was an understatement. She knew she was gay—she wasn’t too out of tune with the other aspects of herself outside of soccer that she couldn’t recognize the fact that she found girls attractive. She did not, however, have any experience with actually  _ liking _ a specific girl. Her mind was on soccer twenty-four hours a day seven days a week, and she was lucky if she even noticed what her own gaze was on half the time, let alone someone else’s. 

“Tobin!” Ali whisper shouted, “We seriously need to work on this, will you smile at the poor girl instead of staring through her like she’s a ghost.” 

Tobin quickly takes the seemingly simple advice, offering Christen a shy smile which appears to satisfy the older girl for now as she turns back to her friends—smile still present on her own face. 

The confusing high of having Christen Press smile at her twice in one night was ripped away as soon as Tobin’s parents jumped into the picture after most of the team had made their way to the locker room. 

“What the hell was that tonight? Why didn’t you finish the game?” As expected, Tobin’s parents were less than impressed with their daughter having sat for ten minutes at the end of the match. 

“It was nothing, coach just wants me rested and ready to go for Friday's game since it’s more important.” 

“Friday? That’s three fucking days from now. Do you think professional teams are going to want someone who doesn’t even play ninety minutes in a high school game? Talk to your coach, that’s not happening again.” 

“Mom, I can’t tell our coach what to do! He’s the coach, he makes the decisions, me telling him not to sub me out will just end up with me getting benched!” 

“You will deal with it Tobin, it’s not happening again and that is the end of the conversation. Go get changed before you’re late for training.” 

Tobin quickly jogged off to the locker room, not bothering to try and argue her side any further, but knowing it would do nothing but infuriate her mother more. 

  
  
  


“You good dude?” Kelley asked as Tobin rushed to change out of her uniform in the locker room.

“Yeah, fine, my parents are just pissed about me getting subbed out, nothing new.” Tobin sighed, rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands before quickly shoving her things into her bag before giving Kelley a small smile and locking her locker. 

“I’m sorry dude. Look if you ever need anything, just let me know alright? I know you don’t have much time on your hands to hang out with the team but we’re cool alright? We’ve got your back. I know I probably freaked you out a bit when I cornered you during that away game and basically forced you to tell me what your deal was, but I swear I’m good people and you can trust me.” 

Tobin smiled wider this time and returned the fist bump that Kelley was awaiting. “Thanks, KO—I really appreciate that I’ve gotta run but—thanks.” Tobin smiled once more before hurrying out of the locker room and into the hall that led back outside. She was so focused that she didn’t even notice that she wasn’t alone in the hallway.

  
  


“Hey, Tobin!” 

The brunette’s head whipped around as this sweet, flirtatious, and unfamiliar voice spoke her name and pulled her out of her head.

  
  


_ Christen Press.  _

  
  


Tobin’s mind runs wild as she makes eye contact with the most incredible green eyes —up close for the first time.

_ Does she know my name? Since when does she know my name? Of course, she knows your name idiot, why else would she have waved at you earlier.  _

“Um I—hey, hi.” Tobin manages to stammer out and she’s fairly positive she can see a slight smirk playing on Christen’s lips as if she had been hoping for that sort of response to her presence. Tobin thinks that it’s probably something the older girl is used to— _ everyone _ wanted to be around Christen Press. 

“Hey and hi to you too.” Christen laughed softly, biting her bottom lip between her teeth in the process as she took a few steps closer to the midfielder, her short cheer skirt bouncing with each step. Tobin swears she can see every individual curl wrap tightly up in a high ponytail bouncy with each step as well. 

Tobin blushed and bowed her head nervously at her previous embarrassing response, but it didn’t seem to deter the older girl from starting a conversation. 

“You played really great today—not unlike usual, but, I’m pretty sure you embarrassed every player on the other team at least 3 times today, including the bench players and the coach.”

_ So she was watching me? And she’s watched me before? Since when does she pay attention to me?  _

“I um—thank you.” Tobin’s never been great at accepting praise, but she was especially not attuned to accepting praise from a beautiful girl like Christen Press, one of the most popular girls in school as well as being captain of the cheerleading squad. “You uh —you were great tonight too… you know with uh—with the cheerleading.” 

“Are you just saying that?” Christen smirked. “Because not to be overly transparent but I was watching you pretty much the whole game and the first time you looked at me was when Ali Krieger made you wave at me.” Christen winked and Tobin blushed yet again at being called out. 

“I uh—sorry I…”

“Tobin—” Christen reached out and put a reassuring hand on the younger girl’s bicep. “I’m just teasing you, I don’t expect you to be watching the cheerleaders while you’re playing. I’m glad to have your attention now though. Hopefully, that wave was  _ entirely  _ forced.” 

_ What the hell is going on and why do I suddenly love my name a lot more than before after hearing her say it?  _ Tobin’s mind attempted to catch up but the feeling of Christen’s hand still gently squeezing her arm was more than a little distracting. 

“We should hang out sometime,” Christen suggested suddenly, noticing that the other girl likely wasn’t going to respond anytime soon and Tobin’s eyes went wide.

“I—you want to hang out with me?” Tobin’s eyebrows knit together and she curses at herself for being so socially awkward —I mean it wasn’t her fault considering she wasn’t…  _ social,  _ but still. 

“I do.” Christen smiled sweetly. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now actually but it didn’t seem to be working so I thought I’d just shoot my shot here.” Christen’s sweet laugh is infectious and Tobin can’t help but stare at her bright green eyes and get lost in the sound.

“I—um…” Tobin stammered, attempting to navigate this feeling she had never encountered around anyone before and form a coherent response. 

  
  


“Tobin! What the hell are you doing? Let’s go! You’re going to be late for training!” Tobin snapped out of her daze the second that voice hit her.

“Shit. I—I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry Christen.” Tobin panicked, throwing her bag back over her shoulder and running off in the direction of the voice while leaving behind a confused Christen Press. 

  
  


“What the hell was that?” Tobin’s mom asks harshly, as Tobin reached the end of the hall, looking back at Christen who was still watching as Tobin reached her parents. 

“Nothing mom, she was just saying good game.” 

“Who is  _ she?”  _

“Her name’s Christen, she’s just a friend, it’s not a big deal.” Tobin sighed, closing her eyes and hoping for once her mom would just let something go. 

“Watch your tone Tobin!  _ Christen _ isn’t on the team which means she’s someone taking your attention away from soccer.” 

“Mom seriously that’s the first time we’ve even talked,  _ friend _ was a stretch, I hardly know her.”

“And it’s going to stay that way. You know you don’t have time for anyone outside of soccer.”

“I know mom, I promise it won’t be an issue.” 

“I know it won’t —as long as you stay away from that girl.” 

“Mom, I’m sixteen, am I seriously not allowed to talk to someone from school just because they don’t play soccer?” Tobin’s voice raised slightly as she grew frustrated.

“Tobin we are not getting into this conversation right now. That girl has distraction written all over her, I saw the way she was looking at you, and I know you’re not too stupid to have seen it either if you don’t know her then there is no reason to get so worked up over this.” 

“No reason? I’m not allowed to be upset about this because I can’t so much as have a thirty-second conversation with someone who isn’t involved in soccer without you telling me I can never talk to them again?!” Tobin’s frustration grew and her fist came down on the back of her mom’s passenger side seat.

“Tobin Powell Heath!”

“What!? You wouldn’t be reacting this harshly if it had been a guy talking to me about the game and you know it so why don’t you just say why you really don’t want me talking to her!” 

“Tobin don’t you dare pull that card with me. You know your father and I accept you. You know we don’t care that you’re gay and we have never gotten angry at you about that. But you know you don’t have time to be getting distracted by any sort of relationship right now! We are not discussing this anymore. We will see you after training and you better be ready to apologize for the way you spoke to me when I pick you up.” 

Tobin stepped out of the car without a word, slamming the door shut and ignoring whatever her parents shouted as she walked inside. 

Even though she didn’t want to be here right now—would rather be anywhere than training after playing nearly a full soccer game, Tobin was grateful for moments like this where she could exist outside of her parents' watchful eyes. 

  
  
  


It started the first time Tobin got called up to the youth national team when she was eleven. 

Tobin will never forget the look her parents shared when they got the email—the greed that hasn’t left their eyes since that day. 

_ “If you really want to do this you have to be serious about this. It’s going to cost us a lot of money so there is no room to mess around, do you understand?”  _

Tobin had agreed, eagerly and proudly—unsuspecting to the fact that her parents had their own agenda for  _ her  _ success. 

It was a gradual progression into where they were now.

Tobin’s days were planned out to the minute—but not by her. She trained before school, during free periods at school, and in the evenings after practices or games with the school team. Her meals were planned and prepped and she lived and breathed soccer unless specifically instructed by her parents to be doing something else. 

They had one goal in mind—for their daughter to be the  _ best _ . More specifically, for her to be their retirement fund and to benefit off her fame in whatever ways they could.

The worst part for Tobin was that she truly loved soccer. She still did, even despite her parents. She had always dreamed of going pro one day, and she wasn’t opposed to working her ass off to get there. 

She was, however, opposed to having zero friends or zero free time to do anything but eat and breathe soccer. 

Most people at her school knew who she was—with the help of her two U-17 world cup gold medals as well as two caps with the senior national team in two recent friendlies. At sixteen years old she was doing things that most young athletes could never even dream of accomplishing. A few players in recent years had gotten looks as early as eighteen with the full team, but  _ sixteen _ was simply unheard of for the US team.

The people who “knew her” at school just assumed she was this intense on her own. That she chose not to have any friends because all she cared about was soccer. 

Tobin had only ever discussed her parents with Kelley. They had been roommates during an away game last season and Kelley had all but forced the conversation out of Tobin. Tobin was thankful for Kelley—knowing she had at least one teammate who understood why she always denied invites to hangout or why she was granted free periods as a junior, for the sole purpose of training or working out. Ever since she and Kelley had talked—the girl had been in her corner to defend Tobin whenever she tried to explain why she couldn’t do something without sharing too much. 

  
  


Now—as for Christen Press… of course, Tobin had noticed her. Could pick out her wild curls in the crowded halls no matter how far they were. She hadn’t, however, noticed that Christen herself had, and  _ did, _ notice Tobin quite often. 

  
  
  


“O’Hara!” 

“What’s up Pretty Pressi?” Kelley winked, throwing an arm around the cheerleader's shoulder as the two girls walked in stride.

“What can you tell me about Tobin?” 

“Heath? Um —soccer…?” 

Christen rolled her eyes, expecting a little more of a response about the mysterious girl. “Seriously? You guys are teammates, you know nothing else about her other than “soccer”?” 

“She’s intense dude. I love Tobin and she’s dope but she literally eats, sleeps and breathes the sport. It’s not all her though, her parents are like—super uptight about it.” Kelley mentions, trying not to give too much away.

“What do you mean?” Christen isn’t going to give up clearly and Kelley doesn’t think there is too much harm in sharing a few minor details.

“Like, she doesn’t train every second of every day because she wants to, it’s because they make her. Like tonight, for example, she’s on her way to training right now after playing a ninety-minute soccer game.” 

“What the hell… that’s insane! She’s sixteen.” 

“As I said—it’s her parents, they literally monitor her every breath. Like for real, she wears an apple watch and I’m pretty sure they like—monitor it... Side note, why are you asking?”

“I’ve been trying to get her attention for months, but she doesn’t seem to really notice much around her so I just bit the bullet tonight and asked her to hang out but then her parents showed up and she ran off… which makes sense now.” 

“Holy shit Pressi you’ve got the hots for Heath?? This is incredible, she needs this. But fair warning, it’s not going to be easy. She doesn’t do anything social unless it’s mandatory by coach for the team, even then sometimes her parents manage to get her out of it.” 

“Do you have her number?” Christen asks—totally unphased by the warning.

“I do, you’re still going to try and hang out with her? Damn.” 

“I haven’t spent months trying to get her to notice me for nothing.” Christen winked and handed Kelley her phone to put in Tobin’s number. 

“So like—if it doesn’t work out with Heath… you busy next Saturday?” Kelley winked before Christen slapped her shoulder.

“Nice try O’Hara, but I get what I want, so, unfortunately, I’m not free.” 

“Confidence is hot Pressi—Tobin is one lucky lady.” 

“Are you always like this?” 

“Yes, but I mean no harm I swear.” Kelley put her hands up in surrender and the older girl just rolled her eyes. 

“Thanks for the help—I owe you one, in fact… give me your phone.” Kelley’s eyebrows knit together, but she handed her phone over to the cheerleader who quickly added a contact. 

“You know Alex Morgan?” 

“Do I  _ know _ Alex Morgan? Is that a joke? Of course I know her.” 

“She thinks you’re hot.” Christen winked before turning to walk away. “You should text her.” The cheerleader spun on her heels and walked away with a bounce in her step, leaving a stunned Kelley O’Hara speechless and frozen behind her.

Kelley’s eyes went wide as she looked down at the contact Christen had added. 

“GOD BLESS YOU PRESSI!” She shouted after the senior. 

Tobin threw herself onto her bed the second she got home, not even bothering to take off her shoes. It was nearly ten o’clock and she was dreading the very thought of waking up at five am to go train before school. She had just about dozed off when her phone vibrated underneath her pillow. 

_ Unknown number:  _ Hey Tobin, it’s Christen:) I got your number from Kelley O’Hara, I hope that’s okay… I swear I’m not trying to like — force you to hang out with me, but I wasn’t quite sure if I should take the lack of response tonight as a no or not so… this is my second attempt…

_ Holy shit.  _ Tobin shoots up in bed, staring at the text in disbelief. So not only did Christen Press want to hang out with her. No —she wanted to hang out with her enough that she went out of her way to get Tobin’s number from a teammate. 

_ What do I say?  _ Tobin sits, unsure of herself and her response for five whole minutes before she decides to call in reinforcements. She makes sure her read receipts are off before opening the text and taking a screenshot before sending it to Ali. 

_ Tobin:  _ Christen texted me and I don’t know what to say, what do I say?!

_ Ali Krieger:  _ Tobin… 

_ Ali Krieger: _ Sweetie keep up, you’re allowed to get nervous in person but you need to be able to text this girl!

_ Ali Krieger: _ But at the same time it’s super sweet you texted me because I didn’t think that would ever happen so supes cute;) ANYWAY, just say hi! And explain why you had to hurry off earlier!

_ Ali Krieger:  _ And make sure to be very clear that you did not run away because you don’t want to hang out with her! 

_ Tobin:  _ Okay got it, you’re a lifesaver Ali!! 

_ Ali Krieger:  _ As payment for my services I’m going to request you text me at least once a week from now on because we are officially friends so you can’t escape me now that I’ve helped you with girl things!! I also will need constant updates on this blossoming relationship of yours;)

_ Tobin: Wait, relationship?  _

_ Tobin: Christen wants a relationship? How do you know that? _

_ Ali Krieger:  _ TOBIN

_ Ali Krieger:  _ Tobin buddy this is Ash, listen closely. Cute bisexual girls do not want to hang out with hot, lesbian athletes like yourself for friendship purposes. So yes, my sweet sweet Tobin, Christen wants to date you, KEEP UP and text your woman back before she gets bored because rule number one is never keeping your girl waiting. 

To say Tobin was overwhelmed was an understatement; she never texted people in a friendly way, let alone in a  _ relationship _ kind of way

_ Ali Krieger:  _ Don’t text us back until you’ve replied to Christen!!!!! 

_ Shoot, okay right you need to answer her still. _

  
  


_ Tobin:  _ Hey:) I’m sorry about earlier, I was running late for training, I swear I didn’t run away on purpose:/ 

_ Christen:  _ Oh thank god, that would have been embarrassing;) That’s what Kelley told me, did you seriously go train after playing a full game?:(

_ Tobin: _ Yeah...I have training every day in some form, or multiple forms I guess. 

_ Christen:  _ That sounds intense —no wonder you’re so hard to track down;) 

_ Tobin:  _ You’ve been trying to track me down? 

_ Christen:  _ Maybe;) any chance you want to make it easier on me and spare me a few minutes tomorrow for a quick hello? Maybe have lunch together?

_ YES. Yes yes yes, of course, I want to have lunch with you _ — _ even though I can’t form a coherent sentence around you.  _

Tobin wants to say yes more than anything, but she knows realistically that it won’t work.

_ Tobin:  _ If I’m being honest, Thursday’s are my craziest days...I run from place to place and I still hardly have a second to take a breath:/ At lunch I’ve got to watch footage from today’s game, I’m sorry:(

_ Was that weird to say sorry? As if it’s some kind of loss for her?  _

_ Tobin:  _ I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m just making excuses. I’m really not trying to actively avoid you.

_ Yes, good move Tobin, fix the fact that you said sorry by saying sorry again! _

_ Christen:  _ Well that’s certainly good to hear;) I hope you don’t mind, but Kelley told me a bit about your parents and how intense they are, and I really hope this doesn’t offend you, but they sound just slightly fucking insane…

Tobin let out a breathy laugh as she read the text. 

_ Christen:  _ Send me your schedule? I’m good at time management;) I’m sure I could squeeze myself in there somewhere

_ Christen:  _ I’m also persistent… if you couldn’t tell;) 

Tobin’s mind was swimming with thoughts—most of them pertaining to the amount of winking faces Christen had sent her in so few texts.  _ Is she flirting or am I reading way too much into this? Of course, she’s flirting, that’s exactly what Ash and Ali said was happening... _

Tobin sent a screenshot from the phone of her schedule for the following day and Christen’s response was immediate. 

_ Christen:  _ Tobin. 

_ Christen:  _ What the actual fuck. 

_ Christen: _ You train at school at 6 am? And then go to two classes, and then watch footage from yesterday’s game at lunch and then go to class, and then you have a free period that isn’t a free period because you train… and then you have practice after school and then some other kind of training that doesn’t end until 8 at night? Tobin that is insane, that can’t be healthy to be doing so much… I thought I was insane about scheduling but this is something else...

_ Tobin:  _ Yeah it’s uh... it’s definitely not healthy, but I don’t really have a choice

_ Christen:  _ Why do your parents do this?

_ Tobin: _ They want me to be the best… apparently, in their minds, the best athletes in the world don’t need days off

_ Christen:  _ Can I ask you something? 

_ Tobin: _ yeah of course 

_ Christen:  _ What would happen if you told them you wanted to stop?

_ Tobin:  _ Honestly I try not to think about it… it wouldn’t be pretty and even if I didn’t like soccer which I truly do, it wouldn’t be worth it to stop. I don’t know what they’d do but I know that my life would be a lot more miserable than it is now. And it’s not that I don’t want to go pro and all that because I do, I guess it’d just be nice to feel like I could be a teenager for a second. 

_ Christen:  _ Did they get mad at you for talking to me? I couldn’t hear them earlier but I saw them looking back at me…

_ Tobin:  _ Yeah… it’s nothing personal—they just don’t really like me talking to anyone that isn’t involved in soccer because they are a “distraction” 

_ Christen:  _ Are you going to let me? 

_ Let her? _

_ Tobin:  _ Let you what?

  
_ Christen:  _ Be a distraction… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!   
I forgot to mention in the first chapter that this story is -loosely- based off the song peer pressure by James Bay and I'll probably incorporate some of that into the text at some point:-)   
You can thank in person classes being cancelled for the release of this chapter;)

_ Tobin:  _ ALI/ASH what the hell do I say to this??? 

Tobin sent another screenshot to the couple of Christen’s most recent text and the response was almost immediate. 

_ Ali Krieger:  _ YOU SAY YES IDIOT THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER GET WITH THE PROGRAM

_ Ali Krieger:  _ Tobin hon that was Ash, look, you obviously haven’t done this before so here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to tell Christen “I think I’d like that:)” and I can guarantee she’ll be blushing on the other end of that phone, and then go from there okay?

_ Ali Krieger: _ Eeeeek this is so exciting 

Tobin took a deep breath before sending the text exactly how Ali had typed it, because it was true—Tobin  _ did _ like that idea no matter how much it was both confusing and frightening her right now. 

It was also true that Tobin had most certainly never done this before. She had hardly texted friends before—let alone a pretty girl who apparently wanted to be more than friends. 

  
  


_ Tobin:  _ I think I’d like that:) 

  
  


Tobin locked her phone and held it to her chest as she waited for the response.  _ How would this even work? I don’t even have time to hang out with friends, let alone someone who may or may not want to be my girlfriend?  _

_ Christen:  _ That’s what I was hoping for;) Now… let’s figure out how I can fit myself into your schedule because fair warning I’m not the most patient girl in the world and I really want to spend some time with you—even if it’s only a few minutes on your busy days. Can I call you?

_ Call me?? I can’t ask Ali for advice on what to say if we’re on the phone!!  _

Tobin gets out of bed quietly and tip-toes over to her bedroom door, looking outside and down the hall to make sure her parents' light was out and their door shut before closing her own door and getting back in bed as quietly as possible. 

_ Should I call her or should I agree to the call and let her call me?  _ Tobin debated back and forth for a few short moments before throwing caution to the wind and pressing the call button on Christen’s contact. 

_ Maybe this will make me seem less nervous than I actually am. _

The line only rang one time through before Christen’s soft voice broke through the silence. 

“Hey you.” After only speaking once in person, Tobin could already picture Christen’s lips curling up in a smile and the light wrinkles forming around her nose and eyes the way they did each time she had smiled at the younger girl.

Tobin is fairly certain her heart started beating out of her chest the second she heard Christen’s voice—she’d never been so mesmerized by a sound in her life but suddenly all she wanted was to keep hearing it. 

_ I never knew a voice could sound pretty... _

“Hi.” Tobin answered quietly, controlling her nerves the best she could while also being cautious not to wake her parents. 

“I was hoping you’d call—kinda wanted the reassurance that I wasn’t forcing you into hanging out with me.” 

Tobin bowed her head shyly, almost as if she could feel Christen’s eyes on her as she blushed at the admission. 

“There is definitely no forcing happening. You have my full consent to try and fit yourself in my schedule.” The soccer player spoke quietly, her voice slightly deeper than usual with her attempt to keep the noise level down. 

“Good to know...” Christen almost whispered, and Tobin could picture the raven-haired girl biting her lip as she often did when she spoke—or at least, something she did when she talked to Tobin earlier. “So about that crazy schedule of yours… I’m determined to fit myself in for even like—five minutes tomorrow.” 

“You sure like a challenge.” Tobin teased—proud of herself for responding so quickly and with little nerve in her voice. 

“What can I say—I just go after what I want,” Christen responded in stride and Tobin got the feeling that the cause of her death would be Christen Press flirting with her.

  
  


_ Thirty minutes later.  _

  
  


“I’ve got it!” Christen shouted out of the blue, causing Tobin to pull the phone away from her ear momentarily—startled by the outburst. 

“We can accelerate the playback speed of the game footage so that it doesn’t take the whole lunch hour and then I can steal those few saved minutes,” Christen announced proudly.

Tobin couldn’t believe how much effort the older girl was putting in to come up with a way to hang out with her for a few minutes. 

“That’s…  _ genius _ .” Tobin chuckles lightly into the phone, rolling onto her stomach and letting out a shaky breath. 

_ Is this really happening?  _

“Why thank you.” Christen sings, letting out a sweet sigh. “Consider yourself distracted for a total of like fifteen minutes tomorrow.” 

“Can’t wait.” Tobin responds—unable to hide the nervous tone in her voice this time as realization sets in that she’s going to have to attempt to talk to Christen in person again tomorrow. 

“You sound nervous.” Christen teased with a breathy laugh that made Tobin blush even more. 

“I mean… maybe a little.” Tobin admitted, feeling like there was no harm in being honest.

“What makes you nervous?” 

“You just kind of terrify me.” Tobin admitted—slapping herself mentally for her choice of words. 

Christen didn’t seem phased though—laughing at the younger girl as she tucked herself into bed—content with having made a plan for tomorrow. 

“You don’t have to be scared of me Tobs… I don’t bite— _ well _ , not right away anyway.” 

Tobin thinks she can physically feel the bright red blush pulsing throughout her body at Christen’s words. She might not be the most attuned to detecting flirting but there was no missing the meaning behind those words. 

“That was too much—I’m sorry—I really hope I’m not scaring you off, I know I can be a lot sometimes...”

“No! No, you’re not scaring me I promise. It’s more like—the idea of you I guess… you’re just— _ really pretty _ , and I’ve never done this before....” 

“Do you mean  _ this  _ as in dated?” 

“Yeah…” 

“Let’s take it slow then. I don’t want you to feel like there is any pressure on you from me for something to happen. I know that we literally talked for the first time today so I’m not expecting you to like ask me out tomorrow or anything… honestly I just really want to spend some time with you and get to know you a little more—how does that sound?” 

“That sounds really good actually…” 

“Perfect. And thank you by the way… I happen to think you’re really pretty too, Tobin.” 

  
  
  


The two girls talked for a few more minutes before Tobin started to fade away. 

“I should let you get to sleep, I know you have to be up early.” 

“Yeah—that’s probably smart,” Tobin mumbled, rolling onto her side and plugging her phone in—ensuring the alarm was set and internally groaning at the sight of 5:00am on the screen.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Christen asked sweetly—and Tobin thought for the first time that she heard a hint of nerves in the other girl’s voice. 

“Yeah...I’ll see you tomorrow Christen.” 

“Goodnight Tobs. Is it okay to call you Tobs?”

“Mhmm—just don’t tell anyone.” Tobin smiled softly as she fell quickly into a deep sleep, smiling into the phone as she barely registered Christen’s voice saying “Sweet dreams Tobs.” before the line went silent. 

Tobin let out a long sigh as she switched on the lights in the weight room—walking over to the cupboard that held the stereo system and plugging in her phone to start the music. 

  
  


“I didn’t peg you as a rap kind of girl.” A voice that was quickly becoming Tobin’s favourite spoke loudly over the music that had just begun to play throughout the room.

Tobin whipped around, startled by the voice no matter how sweet and airy it was. 

“Oh my god I’m sorry! Hi, I didn't mean to scare you.” Christen bit her lip and smiled shyly, looking apologetic at the younger girl whose eyes were still wide while she was frozen in place. 

“Christen? What are you doing here at 6 am?” Tobin’s eyes remained open in shock as she took in the appearance of the older girl. 

Christen was dressed in black leggings and a white cropped hoodie that showed just a small bit of her toned stomach. Her wild curls were wrapped up in a bun on the top of her head—the kind that was purposefully and perfectly messy. She was carrying a backpack over her shoulders and had a travel mug in each hand. 

“You told me you’d be here, so I brought some homework and I’m here to spend time with you, because I decided that roughly fifteen minutes at lunch wasn’t enough. I also brought you a coffee for when you’re done that will still be hot thanks to the 8th wonder of the world—hydroflasks.”

Tobin didn’t know what to say—she thinks that she still hasn’t blinked once since her eyes met Christen’s and she almost feels rude for not being more receptive. “You woke up at like 5am just to see me while I worked out?” 

Christen’s smile fades slightly and Tobin immediately rushes to correct her likely confused and rude tone. “I’m sorry—I probably sounded so rude there. I swear I’m happy I just am in shock that you’re here right now…Are you really here or am I just dreaming still?”

“Dreaming about me already?” Christen teased, getting a familiar blush out of the soccer player before speaking again. “But yes, I am here and not to be arrogant but you should be honoured because I like my beauty sleep.” 

_ The wink. The fucking wink. Every time she does that I feel like my heart is jumping out of my chest. And on top of that she keeps biting her lip and it looks so soft and _ — _ god she is pretty.  _

Tobin didn’t know what to say. She still couldn’t believe this was really happening right now. That Christen Press had come to school at six o’clock in the morning, just to sit on the floor of the weight room studying while Tobin worked out. “I don’t know what to say…” 

“Well don’t let me distract you for too long, I’ll just be over there with your coffee whenever you’re done or need a quick break.” The cheerleader smiled wide again, not so subtly letting her eyes roam Tobin’s bare arms that went uncovered in her cut-off t-shirt. She’s fairly certain that no sixteen-year-old girl has ever had arms like  _ that _ before and she is definitely not too proud to admit the effect they have on her. 

Right when she was about to get started—Tobin quickly ran over to the speaker and unplugged her phone, carrying it over to her bag and pulling out a pair of white air-pods.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Christen smiles admirably but Tobin can tell she appreciated the gesture. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got no problem with headphones.” Tobin smiled once more before putting the AirPods in her ears and getting down to business. 

She gets lost in her workout— mostly focusing on arms today, her usual sequence for after game days as to not let her legs get burnt out from playing a match and then heading directly to training. 

Despite being almost entirely laser-focused, the midfielder notices quite quickly that Christen seems to enjoy looking at her arms—blushing without fail, each and every time she looks over to find the older girl watching her—often with her plush bottom lip pulled between her teeth. 

She eventually became a bit more confident—maybe even began showing off just a little bit, and working a bit harder than normal during some of her sets. She noticed Christen was particularly mesmerized by the size of some of the weights Tobin was able to shoulder and even managed to throw a confident smile at the cheerleader who unknowingly was admiring Tobin’s bicep curls with her mouth slightly agape. Christen quickly snapped out of it and smirked back without missing a beat. 

Her confidence was mesmerizing to Tobin—something that seemed to come naturally to her in a way that consumed Tobin’s attention. She thinks that “distraction” was definitely the right term for a girl like Christen. With every moment that passed though—Tobin found herself less and less concerned about the possibility of being distracted by Christen Press—in fact, she couldn’t think of a more beautiful distraction. 

  
  


When she was nearing the end of her workout, Tobin gave her best attempt at seeming unphased as Christen watched her walk over to the pull-up bar, wiping the sweat from her hands on her old soccer shorts and letting out a slow breath as she shook out her arms—readying her tired muscles for one last exercise. Tobin willed herself to push through the burning sensation in her arms as she hooked her left ankle behind her right and tugged herself up, making it through six reps before she stopped being able to ignore the fire in her arms. She managed to pull herself up fulling four more times before giving in halfway up on the eleventh go. 

“That was impressive!” Christen shouted just loud enough to hear it muffled through her headphones, wiping her hands down again before removing the buds from her ears. “I don’t think I could even do one of those.” Christen shook her head, staring pointedly at the pull up bar. 

“I bet you could! You’re probably stronger than you think, want to try one?” Tobin asked—trying to mimic Christen’s own confidence with a smirk playing on her lips. 

“Oh god, this is going to be so embarrassing.” Christen laughed—closing her laptop and tucking it into her backpack before standing up and joining Tobin. 

“Will you help me?” Christen asks quietly once she’s standing in front of the younger girl. Christen isn’t stupid—she knows Tobin doesn’t think she’s never been in a gym before. Of course—being a cheerleader her workouts were a little different from the soccer player’s, but the shy nod that Tobin gave her in response to the question was her main reason for laying it on so thick. 

“Yeah—yeah sure of course. So um… the key is to not think of it as pulling yourself up, but to focus more on pulling your elbows down if that makes sense? So don’t think about the fact that you’re pulling your entire body weigh up, just focus on getting your elbows down towards the ground and it will seem a lot less daunting. And then once you’re up there you’ll want to cross your ankles like I did, it will help you to keep control of your body and not swing around too much.” 

“Okay—alright here goes nothing.” Christen smiled wide before focusing and looking up at the bar above her. She gave a small jump and gripped onto the metal bar with both hands. She looks over at Tobin with her tongue poking through her teeth in a cute smile. “You’re not allowed to laugh at me if I don’t make it up.” The older girl chuckled before facing forward again and letting out a little puff of breath before starting to pull herself up. “Oh my god.” She gasped as she got stuck three-quarters of the way through her first attempt, not letting her elbows unlock as she continued to pull with her teeth gritted together and her eyes squinted shut. “I can’t…” Christen sucked in a deep breath, “Do it….” Letting out the air she almost let herself drop down before a strong pair of hands gripped her waist. Christen almost fell down completely at the feeling of Tobin’s hands burning into her skin thanks to her cropped sweater having ridden up high. 

“Come on you’re almost there Chris.” Tobin encouraged, not really lifting the cheerleader but more so just taking some of the weight off her arms. Christen shook the many thoughts speeding through her head away before focusing and pulling hard one more time. With Tobin’s assistance, her chin raised above the bar before she dropped down. Tobin cushioned the landing with her hands still firmly in place on the smooth skin of Christen’s waist. 

It took until Christen was back at eye-level, gazing into Tobin’s own honey brown eyes for the soccer player to realize where her hands had been—and still were. She hadn’t thought about the action when she’d done it—having aided teammates in workouts many times in that fashion before. But this was Christen Press—

Christen Press and her toned stomach and smooth skin that she could feel the lingering presence of on her hands. 

Christen Press and her piercing green eyes that Tobin knew she could easily get lost in for hours. Tobin involuntarily gripped the taller girl’s waist harder before jerking away when she realized what she was doing. 

“Shit I—I’m sorry—” She averted her gaze, blushing a deep red as she brought a hand to the back of her neck, rubbing it nervously. 

Christen watched for a moment, a small smile toying on her lips as the younger as the younger girl’s heart rate had visibly picked up.

“Tobin—” She spoke calmly, reaching her hand out and placing it gently on Tobin’s arm in the same way she had the night before. “You don’t have to apologize—thanks for the help, maybe one day I’ll get to one full pull up without your assistance.” 

Christen’s light tone brought Tobin back out of her shell, smiling at the older girl 

“Maybe we can work on it if you ever decide to wake up at this ungodly hour again. Did you actually manage to get any studying done? I don’t know how you can focus on school so early.” 

“Well I can’t say I accomplished much but it definitely had less to do with the time and more to do with me staring at your arms.” 

To say that statement reinstated Tobin’s blush was an understatement. Despite the fact that she had noticed Christen watching her workout, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the cheerleader’s blatant flirting. 

And although Tobin was slightly embarrassed at the effect Christen had on her, she definitely did  _ not _ want it to stop. 

She ran her hand reassuringly over Tobin’s arm, sporting a blush of her own as she felt the muscles under her palm. 

“Sorry, I’m sweaty…” Tobin spoke nervously—more than a little affected by the presence of Christen’s hand on her skin again. 

Christen chuckled as she watched Tobin’s mind race. “Don’t worry about it… Seriously though—I didn’t know it was possible for a sixteen-year-old girl to have arms like this… kinda makes me curious about the abs I know you’re hiding under that shirt.” 

Tobin would have blushed again if the previous one had not still been lingering on her cheeks—Christen giggled before squeezing the soccer player’s arm lightly and letting go of her grip, “I’m sorry—I’m taking advantage of your adorable blush, I’m done I swear.” Her nose crinkles up in a sweet smile and before Tobin can respond the door to the gym opens. 

“Sup Heath.” A deep and lazy voice speaks as a boy enters the weight room. 

“Hey Josh.” Tobin acknowledged with a relaxed smile before the teen’s eyes landed on Christen. “What are you doing here princess?”

“Just leaving, thankfully.” Christen rolled her eyes, speaking with an unfamiliar bite in her tone and Tobin’s eyebrows knit in confusion as she took in the interaction between the two. 

Tobin didn’t know Josh well, she knew he was the captain of the football team, and he often rolled into the weight room when she was finishing in the morning, so they had a few small conversations and had spotted each other once or twice during their workouts—but that was the extent of her knowledge, he had always seemed nice enough. 

“You all done Tobs?” Christen asked quietly, a far off look in her eyes as the younger girl remained confused. 

“Uh yeah yeah… just gotta grab a quick shower.” 

“Cool, I’ll see you later then?” Christen smiled sweetly to which Tobin nodded as the older girl lifted her backpack, tossing it over her shoulder and grabbing the coffee she had brought for Tobin. “For you.” She smiled again, squeezing Tobin’s arm again with a quick wink as she exited the gym, shooting the football player a dirty look as she headed towards the door, “Joshua.” she deadpanned, walking past the boy with an exaggerated annoyance in her step. 

  
  


“You two friends?” The football player asked as Tobin packed up her things to head to the showers. 

“Yeah—um yeah I guess so.” 

The boy just nodded, a small crease between his eyes as he put the pieces together in his head. 

Tobin on the other hand was far from understanding what had just happened. 

  
  


After her shower, Tobin decided to send a text to Ali, hoping maybe her new source of girl advice would have some words of wisdom for her. 

_ Tobin:  _ Hey Ali, question, do you know why Christen might be upset that Josh showed up in the weight room this morning? 

_Ali Krieger: _Josh? like football captain Josh? Tobin, Christen dated him for two years. You didn’t know that? 

_ Wait what??  _ Tobin’s eyes went wide as she read the text.  _ No wonder that was so awkward… but more importantly, how the hell could Christen want to date me when she dated someone like that? How could I compare to him?  _

_ Tobin:  _ I guess I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing… 

_ Ali: _ Is it bothering you that she dated him?

_ Tobin: _ No it doesn’t bother me, I mean I’m not surprised she dated someone before… I guess I’m just a little confused about why she likes me… does that make sense?

_ Ali:  _ Why don’t we chat at practice after school T? I think it will be easier for me to ease your mind in person<3 But also, you should talk to Christen about this too, she likes you which means she will want you to come to her about this stuff if you’re comfortable with that:)

_ Tobin:  _ Got it:) Thanks again Ali, I’ll talk to you later!

  
  
  
  


“Hey, I’m sorry for kind of running off earlier, things are still kind of weird between Josh and I. And by weird I mean he’s a total asshole.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry—I’m sorry for not really saying anything, I was just confused because I didn’t know you guys dated until Ali told me.” 

“ _ Oh.” _ Christen was surprised by that, but it made sense considering Tobin’s social distancing from practically everything. “Well now I feel worse because you didn’t even know what was going on.” Christen gave a sad smile but Tobin was quick to reassure her. “It’s really okay, it all makes sense now so I get it.”

_ I mean I don’t entirely get it because I’ve never dated anyone, but I kind of get it. Should I ask her about it? _

“Do you think maybe we could talk about it another time? I want to tell you and be open to you about stuff but I also don’t want to waste the little bit of time we have today talking about him.” 

“Of course, that sounds good to me.” Tobin shared a genuine smile and hopped up onto the desk next to where Christen was sitting, kicking off her Nike slides and crossing her legs underneath her. 

“Alright Tobin Heath, let's see how much we can learn about each other in roughly sixteen minutes, I call the first 8 minutes of question asking.” Christen winked and slid herself a bit closer to the soccer player so that her thigh was lightly brushing against Tobin’s knee. 

The time, of course, passed in the blink of an eye, but both girls were surprised with the amount of information they were able to gather on one another so quickly. 

_ / _

_ “What’s your favourite colour?”  _

_ “Ooh starting out with the heavy stuff.” Christen smirked, “Definitely pink, but not hot pink, never ever hot pink, it has to be a lighter pink, like cotton candy.”  _

_ / _

_ “If you didn’t play soccer what would your dream career be?”  _

_ “Probably like an artist or photographer or something—I love art but I don’t really have a lot of time for it. I’d like to though.”  _

_ / _

_ / _

_ “What’s your favourite food?” _

_ “French fries one hundred percent no competition,” Christen spoke with a straight face. “Oh, and chocolate.”  _

_ “What kind of chocolate?” _

_ “Preferably milk but I’m not too picky here, chocolate is chocolate so I’m easy to please in that category.” _

_ / _

_ / _

_ “Do you have siblings?” _

_ “Two, an older sister Channing, and a younger sister Tyler, what about you?”  _

_ “I’m an only child, sometimes I wish I had a sibling so that maybe they could distract my parents from me and soccer every now and then…”  _

_ / _

“This was fun. Kind of like a speed date.” Christen winked, resting a hand softly on Tobin’s knee as the younger girl bowed her head slightly in an attempt to conceal her ever present blush that she wore around Christen.

“Yeah it was.” She responded quietly, eyes trained on Christen’s thumb that was tracing light patterns into her skin. 

“Text me when you can later? I know you’re busy so don’t feel bad if it’s not until late.”

“I will, promise.” Tobin smile wide as Christen hopped off the desk they were sitting on. “See you later Tobs.” The cheerleader leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Tobin’s flushed cheek before turning on her heels and walking out of the classroom with a bounce in her step. 

Tobin is thankful that the cheerleader walked away when she did—if not for the sole reason that she blushed a deeper red than she ever thought possible.

_ It was only a kiss on the cheek— _

But no one had ever kissed her anywhere before—especially not a beautiful girl with sparkling green eyes and smooth caramel skin and soft, wild curls framing her face from every direction. 

Tobin let out a shallow breath as she brushed her fingers over her cheek where she could still feel Christen’s lips. 

Tobin thinks back to the night before when Christen has called herself a distraction and thinks that she’s never wanted to be distracted so badly. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a parting note:  
1\. Yes, christen the captain of the cheerleading squad dated the captain of the football team-please just let her live her basic life in peace  
2\. let me know what you think:)  
3\. I'm sorry for any mistakes, I am terrible at editing my own writing:)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends!!   
chapter 3 is brought to you by me avoiding schoolwork which unfortunately means chapter 4 will probably take a littttttle bit longer to write because I have a ton to do!   
that being said I hope you enjoy this chapter; I have noticed this story is just like 90% dialogue and well, that is because they are teenagers and all they do is talk so-enjoy and as always let me know what you think, I have been trying to respond to everyone's comments which I appreciate so much!   
bye friends!

**“** Heath, can I have a word?” Coach Harvey stopped the young midfielder as she was about to take the field for practice. 

“Yeah of course, what’s up coach?” 

“I got a phone call from your mom earlier who was —well, less than impressed about you being subbed out last night.” 

Tobin rubbed a hand over her face as she let out a sigh and looked at her coach apologetically. “I’m sorry about that, coach. Whatever she said I hope you know I don’t feel the same way. I’m not mad about getting subbed out.” 

“I know kid, I gathered that. Now I know we’re on the same page but I just need them to understand that if we’re beating a team by a margin like that, you aren’t always going to play ninety minutes. The best players in the world sit out of matches they aren’t needed.”

“I uh—I’ll try to talk to her, she’s just um...difficult sometimes but I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again—I’m sorry she wasted your time with that.” 

“It’s really no worry kid, it’s just that she sounded seriously upset so I just wanted to kind of check in more than anything. I heard a few of the girls last night talking about you training after the game? Is that true?”

This kind of questioning was exactly the kind of thing Tobin worried about—how could she explain this away without someone questioning her parents which would lead to her parents being angry at her. 

“Yeah um—I train with Marshall Tores and he’s uh—really busy obviously so he’s got pretty limited availability which for me is sometimes ( _ always,  _ Tobin thinks) after games. It’s nothing crazy though! Lots of mental stuff and basic skill training ( _ another lie but it’s for the best _ ).” 

“Tores huh? That’s pretty incredible I’ve heard he’s nearly impossible to book with so I bet that’s a great experience.” 

“Yeah for sure, he’s great and definitely has helped me out a ton with fine tuning stuff.” 

“That’s great to hear Tobin, just make sure you’re taking care of yourself alright? I’ve seen you running from place to place some days—you’ve got a bright future ahead of you but even the best need a break sometime got it?” 

“Got it—will do, coach.” 

“That’s what I like to hear—now get out there, those girls are lost without you on the field.” 

  
  


Tobin felt lighter than usual at practice today. 

It’s definitely not the lingering feeling of Christen’s soft lips on her cheek, 

And it’s most  _ certainly _ not the glances she keeps stealing across the pitch to where Christen and the rest of the cheerleading squad are practicing.

No, that has nothing to do with it.

  
  


“You two sure can’t take your eyes off each other huh?” Ali teased, breaking Tobin out of her staring match with Christen.

“Hm? What?” Tobin shook her head, clearing her mind as she continued her cool down stretches. 

“It’s so cute, did you guys talk today?” 

“We did, yeah—” Tobin blushes, smiling at the time she got with Christen today and dreaming of much much more time together. “We just kind of got to know each other a little more—nothing serious.” 

“And what about the Josh thing? Did you talk to her about that at all?” 

“No, he came up but we decided to save that talk for another time just because we only had a few minutes to hangout today.” 

“Makes sense, that’s super sweet actually. Was there anything you wanted to ask me that you might be too nervous to ask her right away?” 

Tobin looked around her cautiously to make sure there weren’t too many teammates still looming close by—when she thought the coast was clear enough she turned her attention back to Ali and the two girls sat down in the grass to stretch out. 

“I guess—I know earlier I said I was confused but the more I think about it I’m not really confused as much as I'm concerned? Because I get that she’s bisexual so she’s attracted to multiple genders and so it’s not weird for her to like a girl after dating a guy, but I guess what worries me is like… not being good enough for her? Like she’s one of the most popular girls in school and she was dating the captain of the football team who is like— _ huge _ and strong and also really popular? So anyway long story short, I’m not confused as to why she would like me as a  _ girl _ but more like why she would like  _ me _ as… a person? Does any of that make sense?” 

“Of course it makes sense!” The senior defender is quick to ease Tobin’s mind with a reassuring smile and the younger girl quickly begins kicking herself for not talking to more of her teammates sooner even if she hadn’t had tons of chances. 

“Look, I obviously can’t speak for Christen’s personal preferences but I can say this; starting with you as a physical person—you’re  _ hot  _ Tobin. And I obviously say this in a totally platonic way but I feel like you don’t realize it because you are so laser focused on soccer… but like—everyone knows this to be a fact. As for Josh being “ _ huge and strong” _ , have you seen your arms honey? Because we all have and we actually talk about it a lot how you’re like superhuman fit for a sixteen year old. Now, physical aspect aside, you are a sweetheart Tobin. I know we haven’t talked tons but you are so so so nice and I can speak from experience that mr football captain Josh is  _ not.  _ He is an asshole and it is fairly public knowledge that he was an ass to Christen as well so on the topic of you being good enough for her I can guarantee you are a one hundred and ten percent upgrade from that guy.” 

Tobin smiled at this information. She definitely never would have thought about herself like that if not for Ali. “You really think so?” 

“Yes!! You are a catch, T! Seriously I’m like so invested in this blossoming relationship and I am super honoured that you chose me to text about it because I am  _ all _ for this. Speaking of—any cute news to share that isn’t Josh related?” Ali wiggled her eyebrows and Tobin immediately blushed. “Well uh—you know how I mentioned the Josh thing this morning? Well the reason they crossed paths is because Christen woke up at like five in the morning to come to the gym and study while I worked out…” 

“Hold on—this all happened this morning and you left that out of your texts? That is literally  _ adorable!! _ Tobin!! What else happened???” 

“Um I mean—not much really, Josh kind of put an end to the morning and then we hung out for about fifteen minutes at lunch and she kissed me on the cheek when she left…” 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!!” Ali whisper-shouted and shoved Tobin’s shoulder! “She kissed you!”

“On the cheek!” 

“But it was a kiss!” 

“Yeah…I guess it was” Tobin answered shyly as if she hadn’t been replaying the  _ kiss _ over and over in her head on a loop throughout the day. 

“If you don’t tell me  _ immediately _ when you  _ kiss _ kiss for the first time I SWEAR!” 

_ How is she so sure that’s going to happen? I mean I want it to happen but like… how do I make it happen?  _

“Can I ask you one more thing?” 

“Of course hun!”

“What happens now? Like I just don’t know how to go about anything with her because I’ve never done this before…” 

“Okay first things first—don’t worry so much! You guys have just started talking so don’t think that there is any pressure to put a label on it! We’re young, you’ve just got to go with the flow and do whatever feels right with her! Just keep hanging out and getting to know one another and the pieces will fall together if you want them to. Don’t get too in your head about the first kiss or about making the relationship official if it gets there! These things will happen naturally as you two get closer and feelings grow, okay? And lastly and most importantly—always remember what I said about talking to her okay? Not only is it a good idea for your mind to talk about your feelings but believe me when I say nothing makes a girl’s heart melt more than you talking to them about your feelings.” 

Tobin nodded along, taking in every piece of advice. “Thank you Ali, I really appreciate all the advice, I promise to keep you updated, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you and I’m glad to have you as a friend.”

“Ugh do you see what I mean?? You’ve literally got sweetheart written all over you. Christen picked a good one. Now, I know you probably have somewhere to be but go say hi to your girl first because I’m pretty sure the only reason she is still out here is because she’s waiting for you.” Ali pointed passed Tobin who quickly turned to see Christen across the field, sitting cross legged on the bleachers and looking down at her phone. 

“Their practice ended like thirty minute ago—” Tobin thought out loud as she rose to her feet. 

“Ooooh that girl’s got it bad!” Ali teased, shoving Tobin lightly as she began to jog off towards the school. “Bye T!!!” 

Christen remained engrossed in her phone—unaware of Tobin’s presence until she took her first step onto the metal bleachers. The cheerleader’s head snapped up and met Tobin’s shy smile with a beaming smile of her own. “Hey you—I was hoping you’d notice me over here.” Christen winked as Tobin sat down next to her. 

“You’re hard to miss.” Tobin responded, proud to have made it through a flirtatious comment of her own without choking on her own words. 

Christen blushed lightly at the comment, not having been prepared for the effect that came with Tobin flirting back. “I know you’ve got to run but I was hoping I could sneak a quick hello in before you left—I’m already becoming greedy with my time with you.”

Tobin quickly glanced down at her fitbit to check the time—noting that she needed to start her run to her next training within the next five minutes if she wanted to make it on time without sprinting. “Yeah I’ve got to leave pretty quick unfortunately.” Tobin frowned at her words, “I’m glad I got to see you again though.” She added, getting another smile out of the older girl. 

“Why don’t I drive you? You said you have to run there right? If I drive you then we get a few extra minutes.

A part of Tobin knew that some way, somehow, her parents could find out about this—but that part of her completely threw caution into the wind the second she locked her brown eyes with Christen’s glistening green ones. 

“Yeah—yeah okay.” The soccer player responded breathlessly, standing up and following Christen away from the bleachers and back towards the school. 

“How was your practice?” Tobin questioned after they had stopped to collect Tobin’s backpack from the locker room. 

Christen’s eyes lit up at the simple question—happy to discuss her life with the soccer player. “It was really good actually! We’ve been working a lot on incorporating more modern, hip-hop-like dances into our routines to compliment the kind of basic cheerleading stuff and it’s been a lot of fun! We’ve got a pretty big competition coming up so it’s exciting to see that all coming together in time for that.” 

“That’s really awesome, Chris, I hope I get to watch you sometime soon.” 

Christen couldn’t help the blush that rose to her cheeks again at the genuine tone of Tobin’s voice, “Really?” She asked, gently biting down on her bottom lip as Tobin smiled to herself, looking ahead. 

“Yeah, I’d really love to, I bet you’re so good.” 

In place of a response, Christen smiled even wider and reached out to take Tobin’s hand into her own—linking their fingers together and letting their hands swing between the two as they made their way into the parking lot. 

_ Who knew holding hands was so nice? _ Tobin asked herself as she tried not to overthink how sweaty her palms probably were in this moment.

“This okay?” Christen asked quietly, right as the two came to a stop in front of the cheerleader’s car. 

“Yeah—yeah more than okay.” Tobin responded shyly before making a quick decision to open the drivers side door for Christen who looked at the younger girl like she had just slapped her in the face, in like—a loving way. 

“No one’s ever opened a door for me like that before.”

Tobin bows her head shyly in response—she’s a little surprised at that information but then remembers what Ali had told her earlier about Josh and thinks in that moment that maybe she could be good enough for Christen. 

“This car is so sick.” Tobin mentioned, as Christen backed out of her parking spot. 

“You’re only allowed to ogle it like you are if you promise not to make any jokes about  _ Daddy’s money buying me a BMW.”  _ Christen teased but Tobin could tell the older girl had been criticized for the exact thing many times. 

“I would never judge you for something like that,” Tobin answered honestly before continuing. “I understand that feeling you know,  _ daddy’s money _ buys me training with three of the most sought after trainers in the country—and with how much they pay for soccer for me each year I could probably have three BMW’s by now.” Tobin jokes, lightening the mood in the car as Christen smiled at her admirably for a moment before turning back to the road, but not before reaching across the console and linking her hand with Tobin’s once again. “But really, when I first got in with the youth National Teams a lot of the other parents and some of the players too didn’t like me because of the fact that I trained with these people and like forced this image on me that I was too good for them when I never felt that way at all, but just because my parents spend more than them on my training they decided they didn’t like me.”

“Thank you for telling me that, Tobin.” Christen squeezed her hand lightly, keeping her head turned towards the road but making sure Tobin noticed the smile on her face. “That actually makes me feel a lot better… Josh was always so inconsiderate about money. He just assumed that because my parents are well off that I could do or buy anything I wanted but I’m not like that—I don’t take advantage of how hard they’ve both worked to earn the money they have. And I’m well aware of how lucky I am to not have to worry about certain things, and how lucky I am to have a car like this, but I don’t just go crazy at the mall every weekend with my parent’s credit card like a lot of people seem to think.” 

“I can tell you’re not that kind of person, Christen. And I think that’s really cool, I can tell you respect your parents a lot.”

“I do, my siblings and I have a really good relationship with them. We respect them, and they respect us.” 

“Your hands are really soft.” Tobin mumbles mindlessly, and a little out of the blue as she brings her other hand up to play with the thin gold rings encircling each of her fingers. A deep blush fills her cheeks as she realizes the quick shift in conversations but Christen is quick to ease her worries. 

“Thank you—I’m kind of a clean freak so I sanitize them a lot which means I use  _ a lot _ of lotion so that they don’t shrivel up from all the alcohol.” 

Tobin chuckles as Christen laughs at her own expense, “That’s cute.” She responds, twisting one of the rings around Christen’s middle finger a few times before setting it back in place. 

“Sorry, I fidget a lot, I’m not very good at sitting still—I also have a habit of changing subjects really fast as you probably noticed; I swear it’s not because I’m uninterested in the conversation, my mind just moves really quick sometimes.” 

“Don’t apologize, I didn’t mind—plus we all have our quirks, and I happen to think all of yours are adorable.” 

  
  


They end up arriving at the training facility fifteen minutes before Tobin has to go in so Christen turns off her car and turns to face Tobin. “Care to have part two of our speed date while we wait?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Great—you can go first this time because I totally hogged most of the question asking time earlier.” Christen smiled as she reached over to take Tobin’s hand into hers for the third time that day. 

“Okay hm… what’s your favourite ice cream flavour?”

“Mint chocolate-chip!” Christen speaks out before Tobin has even hardly finished the question. “I  _ love _ mint chocolate chip  _ anything. _ ” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s eyes light up so much at ice cream before.”

“I have such a sweet tooth—” Christen admits, “and don’t get me wrong, I am very strict about my diet but on cheat days I go absolutely  _ ham _ on anything french fry, chocolate, or mint chocolate related.”

/

“So you’ve played with like, the actual National Team right? Like not just the youth teams?” 

“Um yeah I uh—I got two caps a couple months back but the games weren’t super important or anything.” Tobin deflected, not comfortable talking too much about her successes. 

“Tobin—that’s like a big deal, no matter who you were playing! You’re only sixteen, like I know you’re so talented because I've been watching you play at school but that’s just crazy! When will you get to play with them again?”” 

“I just got invited to the next camp that is in a couple weeks which is actually here in Carson which is nice; the travelling is a lot sometimes, so it’s really convenient that they train here a lot with having the National training centre here.” 

“Are you playing games?”

“Yeah, there will be two, one here in Carson and then another in LA a few days later.” 

“Oh my god that’s amazing, I have to get tickets for the one here!” 

“You don’t have to do that—I mean you see me play for free at school.” Tobin shrugged and Christen raised her eyebrows in amusement. “If you think I’m not coming to watch you play with the literal National soccer team you are crazy Tobin Heath—and learn to accept my praise because you’re going to be hearing a lot of it. Also I would totally go anyway even if you said I couldn’t.” Christen tilted her head sassily and winked at the younger girl who was just sitting across from her, dumbstruck at the cheerleader. 

“You’re sure stubborn hey?” Tobin asked quietly. 

“I’m pretty sure I warned you about that—” Christen winked again before pulling on Tobin’s hand and bringing it up to her lips where she placed a soft kiss on her knuckles, letting her lips linger a second longer than she had on the soccer player’s cheek before running her thumb lightly of the skin where she had kissed. “You better get going, don’t want you being late on my account no matter how much I like distracting you.”

Tobin was speechless—her brain was practically short circuiting at the feeling of Christen lips on her skin for the second time that day. 

_ What the hell is going to happen if we actually kiss for real? _ Tobin thinks _ , it was just my hand but I feel like it’s on fire.  _

The younger girl eventually snaps out of it, blushing heavily and reaching into the back seat to grab her backpack, “I’ll uh—see you later Chris.” She mumbled before stepping out of the car with a dopey smile on her face. Christen was about to pull away when the drivers side door swung open—

“Is it okay that I call you Chris?” Tobin asks with the cutest smile on her face that makes the older girl think she would say yes to any name Tobin asked to call her. 

“Perfectly okay—I don’t normally like that one but coming from you it’s not so bad.” 

“Cool,” Tobin whispers before leaning forward abruptly and pressing a feather-light kiss to Christen’s cheek that she may not have been able to feel if her eyes had been closed. “Bye Chris.” She mumbled again before the door was closed and Tobin was off again. 

Christen was left shaking her head at this enigma of a girl that she found herself entranced by. 

  
  
  


_ Christen:  _ [ Img. ] do you think these French fries will help with my pull-ups?;) 

_ Tobin:  _ you’re so pretty:)

_ Tobin:  _ You didn’t tell me Wednesday’s were your cheat days?;) but yes, absolutely, 10/10 can confirm that fries are the secret ingredient to your success in the gym. 

_ Christen:  _ :) glad I decided to include the photo proof;)

_ Christen: _ that’s because they’re not, sunday’s are;) 

_ Christen: _ and good, that’s what I like to hear, will you be in the gym again tomorrow morning?

_ Tobin: _ cheating on your cheat day? Those must be some good fries

_ Tobin: _ I will, but you can’t come… I feel bad just thinking about you waking up that early again:(

_ Christen: _ In N Out, the only fries that could ever make me cheat on anything;)

_ Christen: _ you know how we keep talking about me being stubborn and that you telling me not to do things is only going to make me want them more;) this is one of those times, I’ll definitely be seeing you there:)

_ Tobin:  _ I’ve gotta start my run home or my parents will start wondering where I am, I’ll text you when I’m in my room for the night:)

_ Christen _ : I look forward to it:*

  
  


Tobin stepped inside her house, heart beating quickly as she finished the nearly twenty minute run home. 

“How was your day dear?” Her mother asked, placing Tobin’s dinner on the table in perfect timing. 

“It was good, Abby was there tonight so I got to train with her a bit which was cool, and I finally perfected that one step over move I’ve been working on forever.” Tobin smiler lightly as she dug into her dinner after a quick prayer. 

“Wambach? That’s great dear.” 

“Yeah, and James told me he’s seen some big improvements over the passed couple weeks on my defensive side which is what Vlatko said I needed to focus on a little more.” 

“That’s great to hear, Tobin. I’m proud of you sweetheart.” Cindy kissed the top of Tobin’s head, squeezing her shoulder lightly. “I’m going to head to bed early, long day at the office today—you’re father’s already been asleep for an hour; make sure to wash your dishes when you’re done okay?” 

“I will mom, love you.” 

“I love you too, Tobin.” Cindy smiled kindly before making her way up the stairs, allowing Tobin to let out a sigh of relief. 

She prayed for these moments with her mom. She had gotten home on time, had good news from training, and had said all the right things to avoid any possible arguments. 

Despite wanting nothing more than these moments—they often ended up hurting Tobin more than healing her—making her wonder why things couldn’t always be this way. Because she knew—no matter how kind her mother had been tonight that it would take less than a hair out of line for the next bomb to explode—and they always hurt the most after a loving and civil talk like tonight. 

When Tobin heard her parents bedroom door close behind her mom, she pulled out her phone to find multiple texts from Christen—including two more selfies. 

In the first picture, Christen was still in her outfit from the day, makeup still on and wild curls framing her face; the accompanying text read:

_ Christen:  _ Have a good run home! Remember to always run against the traffic, not with it!! 

Tobin laughed at the message as she saved the photo to her camera roll just as she had done earlier before opening the next one. 

A deep blush quickly built up Tobin’s already flushed cheeks as she takes in the cheerleader. She had clearly taken a shower and was now wrapped up in a silk looking white robe that cut down her chest in a deep V before crossing over itself, her hair was still wet, up in a bun on her head—and even though it was a still image, Tobin swears she can see curls forming as she stares at the image. 

“ _ Holy shit.”  _ Tobin whispers to herself before finally noticing the accompanying message to the second photo. 

_ Christen _ : Do I get the honour of a phone call again tonight?” 

_ Tobin:  _ I’ve just got to shower quick and then I’ll call you? 

_ Tobin: _ you’re beautiful Christen<3 

_ Was the heart too much? It wasn’t right? She sent a kiss face earlier _ — _ hell, she kissed my face earlier.  _

  
  


Tobin thinks that she showers in record time that night, wanting nothing more than to hear the sound of Christen’s sweet voice again. No matter how nervous this all made her, she couldn’t deny that the cheerleader was very quickly building up a special place in her heart. 

Just like the night before the phone only rings one time through before Christen picks up on the other end. 

“Hey you—I’m glad you called and that you’re not tired of me yet.” Christen teased. 

“I’m not sure that’s possible…however, I still want to try and convince you  _ not  _ to come to the gym tomorring morning. You need to sleep, Chris.”

“I can sleep when I’m dead, time with you is hard to come by and I fully intend on cramming myself into every nook and cranny of free time I can take from you.” 

  
  


/

“Tobs, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“What would your parents do if you said you wanted to stop playing soccer?” 

“Honestly, I don’t want to know what they’d do. And the hardest part for me isn’t the intense training—I understand it’s excessive and probably not healthy for me, but the worst part is that they are sweet people. I know that probably sounds crazy but like—before this all started, they were my heros. They did absolutely everything for me and we had so much fun together but it was like as soon as that first invite came in they were replaced by these greedy and obsessive people who only care about themselves and I don’t think I’ll ever really understand what happened to make it like this. And worst of all they are still sweet sometimes—like tonight when I got home everything was great and my mom was nice and said she loves me before bed and I know that shouldn’t be something to celebrate but right now for me it is. And I know that’s not right but for now it’s what keeps me going because I know it won’t be like this forever.” 

“But what’s their plan once you graduate highschool? They can’t control you if you live on your own?” 

“I don’t know I guess they think that once I go pro they won’t have to do the work any more because then I’ll be  _ famous _ and they can benefit from all the things that come with that—mostly just being known I guess.” 

“Are you not planning on going to college?” Christen asks, not in a judging way, but more surprised than anything. 

“I mean—I want to, but my parents are expecting me to go pro out of highschool. There are already teams that have talked to me, a few here and a few in Europe.” 

“But you want to go to college? What would be your dream school?” Christen asks sweetly, making Tobin smile in a way that it seemed only she knew how right now. 

“UNC.” Tobin answered quickly, shaking her head. “It’s been my dream to go there and play there since I was old enough to know what it was. That place is legendary for a lot of things but the women’s soccer team has basically been the best since the beginning of time. It’d be incredible to play there.” 

“I hope you get to, Tobin.” 

The soccer player let out a small sigh, chewing on her bottom lip. “I hope so too.” Her voice gave away her emotions as if it wasn’t already incredibly evident. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you Tobs...that wasn’t my intention, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

“No no Chris please don’t apologize. Yeah I’m a little upset but it feels nice to talk about this with someone. I’ve never really had someone to talk to about this stuff and honestly just being able to like—express my feelings like this is helping me a lot already.” 

“You can always talk to me, Tobin. I’m glad you feel like you can.” 

“I’ve decided I’m not going to argue with you about coming tomorrow morning…” Tobin whispers, curling into bed.

“Is that right?” Christen asks sweetly. “Where’d that change of heart come from?” 

“I just really like being around you.” Tobin speaks nervously, her voice a little hoarse as she started to fall into a state of rest. 

“I really like being around you too, Tobin.”

“I really like you, Christen...” The younger girl whispers, throwing any remaining caution to the wind. 

There is a brief pause and Tobin almost thinks she’s made a mistake when the older girl responds quietly. “I really like you too, Tobin...I’ll see you in the morning okay?” 

“Kay... sweet dreams Chris.” 

“Sweet dreams Tobin.”

  
  


/

“TOBIN POWELL HEATH!.” The soccer player nearly falls out of bed when her mother’s voice comes barrelling through her bedroom door. 

“It’s nearly five thirty in the morning why the hell aren’t you ready to go yet? You know you need to leave the house by five forty-five to start your workout on time!” 

“Fuck.” Tobin mumbles, as she scrambles around to find her cellphone that she had forgotten to plug in the night before after falling asleep on the phone with Christen. 

“I’m coming!” She shouts before her door swings open. 

“Why weren’t you up?” Her mom demands, arms crossed and any trace of her loving demeanour from last night washed completely down the drain. 

“I forgot to plug my phone in so it died and my alarm didn’t go off, I’m sorry mom. I’ll still be on time, I have everything ready I just need to get dressed.” 

“Of course—you probably did this on purpose thinking I’d leave for work without noticing you didn’t set an alarm hm? Your father and I have sacrificed way too much for you to be doing shit like this Tobin, don’t let it happen again. 

“I won’t mom, I’m sor—” Her door slams shut before Tobin can even finish her sentence. 

Letting out a shaky breath Tobin squeezes her eyes shut and wills away the tears threatening to form. She doesn’t have time for this—there wasn’t time to be upset because she needed to leave. 

She quickly pulled a pair of sweats over her shorts and zipped up a light jacket before stuffing a change of clothes for school into her backpack and heading downstairs hoping and praying she could run out the door without interacting with her mother again. 

Tobin quickly put in her air pods and slipped her feet into her untied runners before running out the door undetected by her mom. 

She ran faster than usual—not because she was late, although she was compared to her normal departure time—but because the faster she ran, the more prominent the burning sensation in her lungs and the less she was able to focus on anything else. She had broken out into a full blown sprint as she reached the grass of the school soccer field that led to the building. Tobin ignored the burn in her lungs and the rub of her backpack’s straps on her shoulders and the terrible sound of her mother’s voice ringing through her head as she turned her music up as loud as it could go right as she was reaching the door to the gym. 

The soccer player was thankful that Christen hadn’t arrived yet, allowing her a minute to hopefully compose herself before she was faced with the older girl. 

That of course didn’t happen—and when Christen opened the door the gym five minutes later she found Tobin leaning with her head against the wall, both hands above her balled into fists and she appeared to be seconds away from attempting to punch a hole through the concrete wall.

“Tobin?” Christen asked, concern ridden in her voice as she put down all of her things and take a few steps closer, noticing the loud music emitting from the soccer player's headphones and assumed that’s why she hadn’t heard her. 

“Tobin…” She spoke again, reaching out slowly to put a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. 

Tobin’s head whipped around and the fear plastered on her face dissolved the second she met Christen’s eyes. She immediately removed her airpods and as if something about Christen’s presence made her feel like it was safe to do so—she immediately let the tears that had been building free fall. 

“Tobin—”Christen gasped, pulling the younger girl into a tight hug and holding her as close as she could. “Hey—I’ve got you, okay? It’s gonna be okay.” 

Tobin held on for dear life as she fought for air between sobs. 

“Tobin? I’m gonna pull away a bit so you can look at me okay? Can you look at me?” Christen voice was soft and soothing and everything that Tobin had never experienced before—she listened of course, pulling back slightly so that she could look into Christen’s eyes a best she could will her own were filled with tears. 

The older girl ran her hands over Tobin’s shaking shoulder, down her arms until she linked both their hands together. 

“Follow my lead Tobs okay? Just try and follow my breathing alright? 

  
  


Nearly ten minutes later, the tears had come to a stop and Tobin’s breathing had almost entirely evened out. Her hands were still securely linked with Christen’s. 

“How are you doing Tobs? Are you feeling better?” 

Tobin simply nods her head, pulling Christen forward and into another hug. “Thank you…” She whispered into Christen’s neck. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” Christen shook her head, pulling back again to look into Tobin’s sad eyes. “What happened, T?” Christen asked quietly, taking one of Tobin’s hands and leading her over to the bench where she had set down her things. 

“I forgot to plug in my phone last night so it died which means my alarm didn’t go off so then my mom just freaked that I was going to be late…it really wasn’t a big deal I don’t usually react like that when she gets upset.” 

“Don’t say it’s not a big deal if it upset you that much, you were close to having a panic attack Tobin—and I know that because I get the same look on my face that you did when I have panic attacks.” 

“You...really?” 

“Yeah—I have pretty bad anxiety, I’m on medication for it that has helped me a lot so it doesn’t happen as often anymore but it used to be really bad. I was actually homeschooled for all of the seventh grade because I couldn’t handle being in school. After that year is when I started taking my meds and I very rarely have panic attacks now, it takes a lot more to bring them on.”

“I never would have known you struggled with that…” Tobin responds, finding her voice a bit more as her breathing leveled out for good. “You always seem so put together and composed… not that there is a certain way anxiety looks or anything I guess I just never—you seem so confident all the time.” 

“I’ve worked on myself a lot. I meditate every morning and every night and I do yoga a lot as well, it really helps me ground myself and be able to keep my cool when I’m feeling really high strung about something.” 

“You’re really smart you know?” 

“I just care about you Tobin... promise you’ll text me if something like this happens again and you feel like you’re spiralling out of control so I can try and help talk you down if I can’t be there with you.” 

“Promise…” 

“Good... now—you’re not working out this morning.” Christen states matter of factly. 

“What? Chris no I’ve got to—”

“Shh.” Christen breathes through her teeth. “I’m going to go change out of my jeans and then you’re doing yoga with me.”

“Christen I don’t even know how to do yoga—”

“Don’t worry, I’m a great teacher.” The older girl winked before grabbing her bag and walking into the girls locker room. 

  
  


Christen had said she was  _ changing out of her jeans _ . What she failed to mention was that she was changing  _ into _ the tiny spandex shorts that go under her cheerleading skirt. She had left on her cropped sweatshirt and came out with a sheepish smile on her face. “Do you have an extra t-shirt? I don’t have a top with me. 

Tobin hadn’t even heard the question because she was so busy staring with her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape as she admired Christen’s legs. 

It wasn’t even the first time she had seen them—she had spoken to Christen when she was in her cheerleading uniform which revealed more skin than was currently showing thanks to the sweatshirt. Tobin had simply been caught off guard. Or at least—that’s what she reasoned with herself as she finally clued in to Christen’s playful smirk and raised eyebrows. 

“What? I uh—what’d you say?” 

“I asked if you had a t-shirt I could borrow.” Christen winked, and Tobin scrambled to step away from the awkward situation and pick up her bag. “Yeah yeah of course, um—here you go.” Tobin handed Christen a red US Soccer training top and almost willed the blush on her cheeks away until—

Well until Christen pulled her sweatshirt off a foot away from Tobin, briefly leaving herself in just her spandex shorts and a white calvin klein sports bra. Tobin turned away as quickly as she regained power over her mind and purposefully walked over the the wall that had a row of yoga mats hanging along it. 

“Thanks for the shirt.” Christen smiled wide as she joined Tobin in the middle of an empty floor space of the gym. 

“Yeah—no problem.” Tobin whispered shyly. 

“You good Tobs?” Christen asked genuinely but with a knowing smile on her face as the younger girl continued to avoid eye contact. 

“What? Yeah of course, totally chill.” 

“Tobin?”

“Yeah?” 

“Will it make you feel better if I remind you that I basically checked you out for ninety minutes straight yesterday morning while you worked out?” 

While the comment did make Tobin slightly less embarrassed about her starring, it definitely did nothing to soothe the redness on her cheeks. 

“Alright soccer star, ready for yoga lesson number one?” 

Tobin chuckled at the serious look on Christen’s face before nodding her head. “Bring it on—how hard can this be?” 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me-back with some borderline directionless highschool fluff. Am I boring you? I hope not, I think I've decided this is going to be about ten chapters so if you decide to keep reading I appreciate you! Enjoy:)

“Okay take one more big breath in, hold for five seconds, and then you can come back into a sitting position as you let it out.” 

“Close your eyes—empty your mind—and do five big breaths just like how we started.” Christen’s voice was kind and slow and Tobin had nearly fallen asleep numerous times just listening to the older girl talk her through the steps. 

Or at least—she would have, if it weren’t for the tiny detail of Tobin having to watch Christen for instruction on each pose. Which meant Tobin staring at Christen’s body in various positions that resulted in her shirt riding up until she had taken a spare hair elastic and bunched up the side of the baggy training top; tying it tight to her waist and leaving a smooth piece of skin above the waistband of her shorts on permanent display. 

The younger girl tried—she  _ really  _ tried to keep her eyes above waist level. But it proved nearly impossible—especially when Christen insisted she pay “ _ close attention to the angle of her hips”.  _

Tobin groaned as she relieved her body of its current position—she’d already forgotten the name of the pose but all she knew was that her leg had never bent that way before—nor did she ever desire for it to be there again.

“Chris—”

“Hush—we’re almost done.” Christen spoke quietly, her voice remaining calm as the two girls sat cross legged with their backs as straight as can be, and let in and out a few more deep breaths before the cheerleader spoke again. 

“Well? How do you feel?” 

“Mentally, I feel great, physically, I feel like I was hit by a truck. How am I in more pain than after a workout?” 

“Because you don’t stretch enough!! I’m telling you, ninety percent of those poses would have been so much easier but it’s clear someone has been cheaping out on their post game stretches.” Christen chastised, shaking her head. 

“Okay you got me there, most of the time I’m in such a rush I kind of blow through them. I also think you have an unfair advantage being a cheerleader because you can already like—do the splits and stuff.” Tobin grumbled. 

“And do you know  _ why _ I can do the splits, Tobin?” The older girl asked with a little more teasing sass in her tone. 

“Because you stretch…” Tobin mumbled so quietly that Christen could hardly pick out the words. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” She teased, amusement ever present in her tone. 

“Hm? What? I didn’t say anything.” Tobin pursed her lips, rolling up her yoga mat after Christen had sprayed them both with disinfectant. 

“You are such a brat!” Christen rolled her eyes playfully, following Tobin as she crossed the room to hang up the mats. 

“It’s your turn.” Tobin spoke suddenly. 

“My turn to what?” 

“You made me do yoga so now you have to try another pull-up.” 

“You know what I’ll take that deal if it will make you feel better since I got to laugh at you multiple times during yoga. You deserve a good laugh of your own.” 

“Are you saying you’ve lost faith in your french fries helping you?” Tobin mock gasps, bringing her hand up to her chest to feign shock. 

“Ha ha very funny. I think I liked you better when you were struggling to say more than two words around me.” Christen winked before turning and looking up at the dreaded pull-up bar. 

“Since I highly doubt I’ve improved since yesterday, get a good laugh in while you can.” 

Christen jumped up, gripping onto the metal bar as she had down the previous morning before looking down to Tobin, pleading silently for her assistance. 

The younger girl placed her hands firmly on each side of Christen’s waist as she had done yesterday, taking a bit of the weight off Christen’s own arms as she slowly but surely pulled herself up one time. Right as she was about to drop down, Tobin dug her fingers in slightly, tickling Christen and causing her to jump and immediately release her hold on the bar. “Tobin!” She shouted, falling hardly a few inches before Tobin’s strong arms wrapped entirely around her waist, keeping her feet from making contact with the ground. 

Tobin swung the cheerleader around once playfully before setting the laughing girl down, making sure her feet were firmly on the ground before letting her hold go. 

She hadn’t been prepared for how close Christen would be when she spun around after being set down, and suddenly her face was only a few inches from the cheerleaders. “That was mean.” Christen pouted, taking a half a step closer and taking one of Tobin’s hands into her own. 

“Sorry…” She whispered, just as Christen released her hand and brought both of her arms up to hook around Tobin’s neck. 

Tobin’s hands instinctively come up to the older girl’s hips as they both lean in. Their lips are probably only a centimeter from brushing together when the door to the gym swings open, causing the girls to jump apart at the sudden noise, both turning and finding Josh strolling in, eyeing the two girls suspiciously. 

“Heath,” The footballer player nodds, “Princess.” He greets Christen with a wink that makes Christen’s jaw clench. 

“Can you  _ stop _ calling me that?” She spat out, in a tone Tobin never knew existed within her. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I thought that was your name.” 

“It’s fine. I know it was probably easier for you to use that so you didn’t confuse me with the other girl’s you were sleeping with when we were together right?” 

Josh simply scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Be careful with that one Heath, she’s a handful.” 

Christen was about to speak up again when Tobin stepped in. “I think I can manage, thanks. I think you’ll find that people are a lot less work when you don’t treat them like shit.” 

  
  


Tobin took Christen’s hand, and lightly pulled her towards their bags before leading her out of the gym. She turned back on her way out the door

  
  


“Oh and by the way, Josh? You’re going to blow out your knee if you don’t fix your form. In case you’ve ever wondered why I can squat more than you because I know how much that bothers you.” 

Christen didn’t even bother to try and hide her laugh as the two girls left the gym.

“I have a lot of thoughts right now but most importantly—can you actually squat more than him?” Christen asked seriously as they walked together towards the girl’s locker room. 

“Yep, after he realized that, he never wanted to do leg day when I was there anymore.” Tobin smirked, proud of the way she had stood up for Christen—even if she was well aware that the older girl could have handled it on her own.

“That’s really hot.” Christen stated bluntly as she casually stripped out of the shirt Tobin had leant her as soon as they were inside the locker room. Bending over and redoing her bun before bothering to pull her sweater back over her head. 

Tobin was once again a blushing mess as she tried her hardest to ignore the feeling of seeing Christen in any sort of undressed state. 

“Can we hang out at lunch today?” Christen asked sweetly, handing Tobin her shirt back before turning to the mirror behind her to apply a small amount of makeup.

“I can’t today,” Tobin frowned, “I’m meeting with most of my teachers to help plan me getting ahead for when I’m at camp in a couple weeks.” 

“Boo…” Christen pouted, as she turned to find Tobin had yet to start changing. “Tobs, do you want me to turn around while you change? It’s okay if you do.” Christen spoke kindly and the soccer player nodded her head shyly. 

Christen was quick to turn around and finish changing back into her outfit, allowing Tobin the time to change as well. 

“I’m sorry, that’s probably stupid, I change in front of my teammates all the time it’s just you’re— _ different…” _

“Tobs it’s not weird okay? Truthfully I’m honoured to be  _ different  _ in this case and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by changing in front of you.” 

“You didn’t,” Tobin was quick to respond, turning and reaching out an arm to take Christen’s hand and let her know it was okay to turn around. “I promise I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was just trying to—you’re hard not to look at.” Tobin mumbled nervously, chewing on her bottom lip as Christen blushed lightly. 

“You don’t have to try not to look T, I don’t mind. What I  _ do _ mind though is having to wait until tomorrow for more time with you.” Christen sighed dramatically. 

“Tomorrow?” 

“Mhmm, we convinced the school to let the cheerleaders share your guy’s bus for the away games this weekend if we got our own hotel rooms so we’ll be road tripping together.” 

“Wow that’s—that’s awesome.” Tobin smiled, “I have more good news in that case. My parents aren’t coming because they’ve both got to work this weekend.” 

“Tobin Heath… Are you telling me I’m actually going to get to give you a hug and talk to you after your game tomorrow?” 

“If you’re lucky.” The soccer player winked, finding her confidence again after their almost kiss a short while earlier. 

“Ohh okay okay I see how it is.” Christen squinted, stepping closer to Tobin with a challenging look in her eye. “Playing hard to get now?” Christen whispered.

“Maybe.” Tobin breathed out—finding it hard to breath with Christen so close to her once again. 

“Hm…she stares at my butt for an hour and then plays hard to get... good thing I don’t mind a challenge.” Christen whispered, brushing her lips against Tobin’s cheek again before smirking as she pulled away. “I’ll see you later Tobin.” The cheerleader sung, swinging her hips a little with each step as she walked out of the locker room. 

_ I am so fucked.  _ Tobin thinks as she pulls out her phone.

  
  


_ Tobin:  _ Ali

_ Tobin:  _ Ali

_ Tobin:  _ Ali

_ Tobin: ALI _

  
  


_ Ali Krieger:  _ Woah hey what’s going on T?

_ Tobin: _ Christen and I almost kissed. 

_ Ali Krieger:  _ Almost???? What happened?? Tell me everything!!!

_ / _

Tobin had just settled into her hotel room with Lindsey when a knock came through on their door. 

The blonde midfielder jogged over to the door and opened it, revealing a smiling Christen Press.

“Oh Tobinnnn, it’s for you!” Lindsey smirked, moving aside to let the cheerleader enter the room.

“I’m gonna go find Sonny, catch you guys later.” Lindsey winked to Tobin from behind Christen’s back as she backed out of the room.

“Hey you.”

“Hey.” Tobin whispered.

“So I know this usually isn’t your thing but all the girls are getting together a little later after the game in Alex and I’s room that connects to Kelley and Crystal’s room and I was hoping you’d maybe come?”

“Oh um—I don’t know I’ve gotta watch game footage tonight to prepare for tomorrow’s game and…”

“Tobs—“ Christen takes a few steps forward, collecting Tobin’s hand and leading her to sit down on the freshly folded made comforter of her hotel bed. 

“Have you watched footage of this team before?”

“Uh yeah probably a few times…”

“Then by royal decree you have to come tonight. I’m banning you from game footage viewing.”

“Did you just make a royal decree?” Tobin asked, eyebrows raised.

“Of course I did. I may not approve of  _ Josh  _ calling me princess because he’s a piece of shit but don’t be mistaken Tobin Heath… I  _ am _ a princess.” Christen winked.

“I’m starting to catch onto that.” The soccer player winked, nerves rising as Christen leaned slightly closer. 

“I Uh—I better get ready, we head out for the game pretty soon.” Tobin mumbled, quickly kissing Christen’s cheek before jumping up off the bed. 

“Oh—yeah okay. Well I’ll see you later then… sit with me on the bus?” Christen asked with a hopeful smile that Tobin returned shyly.

“I’d like that.” 

“Cool, see ya Tobs.” 

The second Tobin’s door had closed behind her, Christen made a beeline for the room three doors down, knocking on the door only slightly aggressively until it swung open.

“Christen? What’s up, Tobin’s room is just three that way I’d you’re looking for her—“ Ali smiled playfully as the cheerleader stepped inside.

“I know I just came from there, I actually need to talk to you because I know Tobin talks to you about me.”

“Oh—okay, well what can I help you with?” 

“I think she’s avoiding kissing me. We almost kissed yesterday morning but then  _ Joshua _ walked in and ruined that moment and ever since it feels like she keeps sidestepping it. Like it could have happened just now but she kissed me on the cheek and said she had to get ready even though I know we aren’t leaving for an hour.”

“Woah, okay come on in girl—let’s chat.”

/ 

“Did you know she’s never kissed anyone before?”

“Oh—um, no I didn’t. I mean I knew she’d never been in a relationship but I guess I never really thought that meant she may have never kissed anyone.”

“Okay good well now we know that. Look—she  _ wants _ to kiss you, she totally does but she’s nervous, understandably. And—okay this isn’t totally my place, but have you talked to her about Josh yet?”

“Not in so much detail… why?”

“I think she feels a bit threatened by him… not in the way that she like—thinks you’ll go back to him but more like she feels that she has to live up to him I think. So because she hasn’t kissed anyone I think she probably feels so nervous because she thinks it won’t be good for you or something since you’ve kissed people before. And again I’m not trying to speak for her and I want her to express this to you herself but that’s kind of what I’ve gathered from her.”

“God she has no idea how hot she is does she?” Christen laughed to herself, shaking her head as Ali let out a laugh of her own. 

“Girl, she really doesn’t. I tried to tell her—in a friendly way of course—but I think she’s gonna need to hear it from you. Talk to her, I can guarantee she wants to kiss you, she told me as much, she’s just nervous.” 

“I’ve just gotta be patient but it’s hard when she’s so—ugh… like I just constantly want to jump on her and kiss the shit out of her—have you seen her arms? How do they even look like that?.” 

“Her arms? Girl wait until you see her abs—they’re like a fucking sculpture—again, totally platonic, I love Ash, but there isn’t a single girl on our team who hasn’t given them a good look.” 

“Okay well now I’m jealous.” Christen shook her head. “It’s fine, it’s  _ fine _ . Also just to be clear, I do like her for more than her looks, she’s an amazing person and despite my intense admiration for her body that is not my only goal here.” 

“Hey I get it. No judgment from me. Plus you two are adorbs so I am in full support of this relationship, especially because it’s gotten our little Toby out of her shell a little bit.”

  
  


/

“Score a goal for me?” Christen whispered, leaning into Tobin a bit as the bus came to a stop at its destination. 

“I’ll try my best.” Tobin blushed, feeling heat run down her leg beginning where Christen’s hand had taken up residence on her thigh. 

Christen squeezed lightly before leaning closer and grazing her lips against Tobin’s jaw. “For good luck.” She whispered sweetly with her lips still half pressed into the skin. 

/

Tobin felt unstoppable. She played with a freedom that she hadn’t felt in years. 

Knowing her parents weren’t there to watch mixed with the permanent feeling of goosebumps where Christen’s lips had been—and the way she could feel the cheerleader’s eyes on her throughout the match. 

And she did score a goal.

She scored three in fact.

Against a team they had only ever beaten one time by a score of 1-0. 

Well, and then there was after the game—when Christen ran up to her, uniform on, and pom-poms in her hands, crashing into Tobin and pulling her into a tight hug. 

“You played amazing.” She mumbled into the nook between Tobin’s neck and shoulder as the younger girl hugged Christen closer and lifted her just an inch off the ground, spinning her around once.

“Thanks to my good luck charm.” Tobin answered confidently, breathing in Christen’s flowery scent. “I wish I could have seen more of your cheers and dancing.” She added.

“Don’t worry, the girls and I usually do a little performance whenever we come on away games like this and get together so I’ll finally get to show you my moves.” Christen smiled with a twinkle in her eye as she pulled back slightly from the hug. 

“I want to kiss you.” Tobin admits suddenly with a blush on her cheeks. Her eyes widen slightly once she realizes what she let out and her hand comes to the back of her neck, rubbing at it nervously. “I’m sorry that was so weird to say—um…” 

“Tobs hey—relax, it’s okay.” Christen smiled sweetly, taking Tobin’s hand from her neck and bringing it down to hold between them. “It’s not weird, you don’t have to be embarrassed, okay? I want to kiss you too… why don’t we talk later on after we’ve hung out with everyone for a bit, you and I can go somewhere and talk alone okay? Does that sound okay?”

“Yeah…” Tobin nodded, finally bringing her eyes up to meet the cheerleader’s again. “That sounds nice.”

“Good. You should go celebrate with your team, it looks like they are all in the locker room now. I’ll see you on the bus okay?” 

“Okay—I’ll see you in a bit Chris.” 

  
  


/

As it turns out—Tobin  _ really  _ loves her teammates. A sense of guilt washes over her as she joins the team later on for their get together. Every last one of them greets her, including the cheerleaders, all of them congratulating her on the great game and telling her that she’s now going to be forced to hangout more often.

She’s surprised that no one really asks  _ why _ she’s never around outside of soccer but gathers that Kelley must have given the group a warning not to ask which she could not have been more thankful for. 

She is almost overwhelmed with all the attention until Christen comes to her rescue with an arm around her waist. “Hey superstar, ready to see my moves?” She asks with a wink to which Tobin bites down on her bottom lip. “I’m not sure to be honest. You were pretty distracting just watching you doing yoga and that was in slow motion.”

“Are you admitting to checking me out during yoga?” Christen feigns surprise. 

“Yes, but you already knew that.” 

“True, kind of nice to hear again though.” Christen whispers, “I like distracting you.” Another kiss to Tobin’s cheek and the cheerleader is spinning on her heels and gathering the rest of the squad. 

  
  


Tobin had constructed an image in her head as to the way cheerleaders danced. It was a school team after all so it’s not like it could be—well, whatever she had pictured, could not be further from what was happening.

A hip-hop song that she didn’t recognize started playing through the speakers and all the girls, with Christen stationed front and centre, broke out into a dance that left Tobin’s heart beating faster and mouth slightly agape. 

Sure she had checked out Christen’s ass the other day when they were doing yoga, but  _ this _ was so very different because now she was  _ moving _ , and shaking and her hands are on her hips and in her hair and Tobin is finding it hard to breath.

Before she knows it the song is over and on the ground in front of her is Christen in a full split, looking up at Tobin with a playful smirk because she knows exactly what she just did to the younger girl. But before Tobin can even process another song starts and her and the rest of the team are being pulled up to dance. 

Tobin lets out a nervous breath as Christen reaches out her hand for Tobin to help her up and then they’re dancing—rather, Christen is dancing and Tobin is trying her best to remember how to stand.

“So what’d you think?” Christen whispered, holding Tobin close in order to be heard over the music. 

“I think I’m still recovering.” Tobin answers honestly, “I might need a few more minutes before I can form a real response.”

“I’ll take that as a win.” Christen responds, spinning herself in Tobin’s arms and swaying a few times with her back pressed against Tobin’s front before spinning back around, not wanting to overwhelm the soccer player. 

“Do you wanna go talk somewhere T?” She asked softly, looking into Tobin’s honey brown eyes.

Tobin just nodded, allowing herself to be pulled toward the door and out into the hallway. 

“Why don’t we go to your room, the girls usually stay together for a while so I’m sure Lindsey won’t be back any time soon.”

Again, Tobin nodded and pulled out her key card, swiping it when they arrived a few doors down and holding the door open for Christen. 

They ended up on Tobin’s bed, sitting cross-legged and facing one another after Christen had changed into a pair of Tobin’s sweatpants to be more comfortable. 

Tobin chewed on her bottom lip as Christen took the younger girl’s hands, bringing them into her own lap before she began. 

“Can I ask what you’re most nervous about Tobs? It seems like ever since we almost kissed in the gym you’ve sort of been scared of it happening again.” Christen’s voice was calm and reassuring and no part of Tobin felt like she was being interrogated or judged. 

“Um—I guess just that—I’ve never kissed anyone before and I’m nervous about not like… being good at it, or living up to the other people that you’ve kissed. I know it’s probably dumb but  _ Josh _ makes me nervous because you were with him for two years and I don’t want to like let you down or something because I have no experience with— _ anything _ …” 

“Let’s start with Josh.” Christen replied simply. “I want to start by saying that I’m not going to tell you anything just because I think it will make you feel better. Everything I tell you about him and our relationship is the truth okay? Starting with the fact that Josh? Is an asshole, in every sense of the word.” Christen smiled as she got a smile and a small laugh out of the soccer player. 

“And yes, I did date him for two years and this is going to sound awful but for pretty much the whole second year I knew he was cheating on me and I did absolutely nothing about it. I stayed with him and I just pretended I didn’t know it was happening because I didn’t have the confidence or self-respect to break-up with him. He treated me like an object and had no respect for me whatsoever. So I need you to understand that no matter how little  _ experience _ you may have being in a relationship or being with anything else, you are fifty times the person he will ever be. You are so much better than him in every sense of the word and any nerves you have about comparing to my relationship with him are so far from the truth. We aren’t even dating yet and you’ve already treated me with more kindness and respect than he ever did. You make me feel more  _ beautiful _ than he ever did… and as for experience in  _ other _ ways—I don’t want to overshare or make you feel uncomfortable so please stop me if you don’t want to hear this but… I wasn’t ready, when Josh and I had sex for the first time. And I didn’t say no and I didn’t stop him because I felt like I had to be ready— _ he _ made me feel like I needed to be ready and so I did. And then even though I hated it because I wasn’t ready I kept doing it because I felt like I had to now that we had done it once....I don’t think I have a single good memory of doing that with him because I never got over that feeling of regretting our first time,  _ my _ first time. After we broke up I slept with someone else right away because I thought it would make Josh jealous and I thought it would feel better with somebody else who I didn’t have that bad first memory with. And I was  _ so _ wrong because I realized that I didn’t want to be having sex with someone I didn’t love and care about so much. And this is all a very long winded way of me telling you that it doesn’t matter if you’ve never kissed anyone, or dated anyone, or had sex with anyone. What makes all of those things feel good is doing it with someone you care about. I’ve never had that, I’ve never felt beautiful just from someone looking at me, I’ve never felt special enough for someone to text their friend about me no matter how trivial that may sound. And I hope that after telling you all of that you still do those things because I like you so much, Tobin, and I want to experience these things with someone as special as you. And lastly I need you to know that I don’t expect things from you at a quicker pace because I’ve already experienced them. I don’t expect us to have sex right away if that’s where this goes because it’s really important to me that your first time is special and that you’re ready for that. So if you want this with me like I do with you I hope you know that we can go as slow as you need with anything and that you can always tell me if something is too much or too fast because I know I can be a lot sometimes and I’m going to stop talking now because I have probably overshared way more than I needed to so I’m done now...” 

“Chris…I—I don’t really know where to begin but I’ll start with I’m so sorry you went through that...I’m sorry that he didn’t treat you how you deserve to be treated.”

“Don’t apologize for him—all I want now is to deserve you.” 

“You deserve everything good, Christen…and there are so many things I could say right now but I think the most important is this;  _ stop _ apologizing for who you are. You always say you’re  _ a lot _ or  _ too much _ and that’s so far from true. You’re confident and you’re proud and you’re independent and I don’t want you to apologize for those things because I love them about you and I think it’s really hot.” Tobin whispered the last words, a light blush filling her cheeks.

  
  


Somewhere in between the adoring eyes and fingers linking together Christen began to lean in closer, and Tobin’s breathing increased as the older girl brought a hand up to thread through Tobin’s hair as she began to close the distance between them. 

“Can I kiss you, Tobin?” She breathed out, so close to Tobin’s lips that the soccer player could feel the breath trickle against her skin. She could feel Christen all around her as she tried to calm her heart rate before nodding slowly.

Christen trailed her hand down to cup Tobin’s jaw as she gently leaned in and pressed their lips together for the first time. 

_ Holy shit. _ Tobin’s mind went into overdrive as the feeling of Christen’s soft lips hit her own for the first time.  _ Is this actually happening right now? Am I really kissing Christen Press? Wait _ — _ no, Christen Press is kissing me and I’m not kissing her back, KISS HER BACK IDIOT. _

After a brief moment of panic left Tobin realizing that she had yet to actual kiss Christen back —she cautiously brought a hand up to the back of Christen’s head, threading her fingers gently through the thick curls to take a gentle hold on the back of the older girl’s neck before really kissing her back. 

Tobin presses her own lips back into Christen’s and she can feel a small smile grow on the cheerleader’s lips as Tobin finally takes part in the kiss. 

It doesn’t last too long, mostly because both girls end up smiling so hard that they’re forced apart. 

“Wow…” Tobin whispers, watching curiously as Christen bites on her bottom lip—their foreheads are still pressed together and Christen is about to speak before Tobin beats her to it. “Can we do that again?”

/

Thirty minutes later Tobin is laying on her back with Christen’s head on her chest and an arm and leg draped half-hazzardly across her body. They’re both in heaven—it’s peaceful and quiet and both girls are half asleep when Tobin’s phone starts ringing. 

“Shit,” she groans, gently sitting up and giving Christen the time to raise up as well before grabbing her phone from the nightstand. “It’s my mom.” Tobin sighs and Christen just nods gently and excuses herself to the washroom while Tobin picks up the phone. 

“Hey mom… yes I’m in my room.... _ no _ mom I’m not going out… I’m sorry I didn’t text you the score right away, we won 3-1, I scored all three...I’m not bragging I was just telling you what happ—…  _ okay…  _ yes I watched the footage for tomorrow…  _ yes  _ I’m serious mom!... sorry… okay… yeah I know… I know… night mom.” 

Tobin tossed her phone onto the bed and fell onto her back, rubbing her hands over her face as Christen came out of the bathroom.

Christen quickly crawled back into the bed, pulling the covers overtop both of them and curling into Tobin’s side with a kiss on her cheek.

“Can I tell you the other thing that makes me nervous?” Tobin whispers out, pulling Christen’s body as close as she could.

“Of course, T.” 

“I’m scared of not being able to give you what you deserve because of my parents. I’m only a junior which means they are going to be controlling my every move for almost two more years. I can’t just hangout with you whenever we want, I can’t take you on dates all the time or just do regular couple things because they don’t let me do  _ anything.”  _ I couldn’t even talk to you without them freaking out. If they knew you were here right now, if they knew I was still talking to you, let alone that I wanted to date you they’d lose their shit. And I’m scared that you’ll get tired of not being able to see me or me not being able to just walk around town holding your hand because I’ll be scared of someone telling them.” 

“Tobin. Listen to me. I know how your parents are. I knew as soon as you told me about them what I was getting myself into there. And I hope you know that no matter how much I’ll try and sneak myself into time with you and how much I’ll try and convince you to skip watching game footage or other little things like that—I understand that it’s not always going to happen. I understand that I won’t be able to spend as much time with you as I’d like but you are worth it to me to make that sacrifice. I don’t need grand gestures and dates all the time. I just want you. I want our phone calls at night and to drive you to training when I have the chance and to see you at lunch time and to wake up at gross hours to come stare at you while you workout.” 

“You’re really great, you know?” 

“Yeah?” Christen teased with a twinkle in her eyes, leaning up on her elbows to look down at the soccer player. 

“Yeah… the best, actually.” 

“Tobin?” 

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me…” 

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!!

Tobin zones out a lot—she doesn’t mean to, but she has fine-tuned her schedule to the point of subconscious memorization and it’s rare that she has to think about how to get from point A to point B because she knows her schedule so well. 

Until Christen happened. 

Christen had downloaded the soccer player’s schedule into her mind faster than any device could and she always seemed to be one step ahead—knowing where Tobin was before she even got there herself. 

The soccer player was on her way out to the fields where she spent all of her free periods. Her AirPods were in and she was completely out of tune with the world around her until a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind causing her to come to a sudden stop. 

Tobin’s eyes went wide and her heart rate shot through the roof as she was spun around and met with Christen’s smiling face. 

“Hey, cutie.” The older girl smiled, plucking an airpod from Tobin’s ear. 

“You scared the crap out of me.” Tobin breathed out, still trying to even out her breathing. 

“Come with me.” Christen responded, pulling Tobin by the arm away from the soccer fields and towards the school parking lot.

“What? Where are we going?” 

“I’m kidnapping you to my house, your two free periods are next and that is a whole two and a half hours, which is more time than I’ve ever had the chance to spend with you so you’re coming with me.” 

“Chris I can’t, I’ve gotta train…” 

“Tobin. Will your parents know if you aren’t on that field?” 

“Well… I —I don’t know I guess probably not...”

“Exactly. Please Tobs… I really want to spend some actual time with you…” Christen bat her eyelashes at the younger girl and tugged on her hand. “We can lay in my bed and watch a movie and just relax—when is the last time you relaxed?” 

Tobin couldn’t even answer the question—hell, she didn’t even know what the question was because her mind was running wild at the thought of being in Christen’s bed with her.

And then the older girl was pulling on her hand again and they continued walking towards the school parking lot. 

“O—okay fine but I have to be back in time for practice,” Tobin stated seriously, still nervous about this plan but being easily convinced by the beautiful girl tugging her towards her car.

“I will make sure you are on time hun, promise. You know how serious I am about punctuality.” Christen smiled sweetly and unlocked her car as they approached it. 

  
  
  
  


**“** Wow, Chris… this is—your house is amazing.” 

“Compliment it in front of my mom—she’s very proud of it and you will have her wrapped around your finger at the first compliment.” Christen winked as she locked the door behind her, signaling to Tobin that no one else was home. 

“I’m not offering you a tour today because that would waste our time together, I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah—yeah more than okay.”

“Good, follow me then.” The cheerleader took Tobin’s hand and led her up a large spiral staircase and then down a long hall leading to her room. 

  
  
  


“This room is like—the most  _ you  _ thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Is that a good thing?” Christen teased, chewing on her bottom lip as Tobin wandered around the large space. 

“Mhmm, it’s perfectly organized, smart, and inviting with a hint of a princess.” 

“Is that how you’d describe me?” 

“Yep, and beautiful… that’s the most important.” 

“Such a charmer… Come on,” Christen took the younger girl’s hand again and led her towards the king-sized bed dressed in a plush grey comforter with a dozen white fluffy pillows adorning it. “Let’s watch a movie.” 

“Kay…” Tobin whispered, trying to hide the nerves she was feeling. No matter how comfortable Christen made her feel about everything—she was still getting into bed with a girl she liked for the first time, and she was only human. It’s not like Tobin was expecting anything crazy to happen—they had only just had their first kiss. But even the thought of just kissing Christen in her bedroom felt more intimate than in the hotel.

“T… you’re so tense. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah I uh—I guess it’s just been a while since I’ve relaxed, I’m not sure I really know how to shut off anymore.” It wasn’t a lie. She hadn’t taken her mind off soccer for more than 10 minutes in nearly six years—relaxing was as new of a feeling as her feelings for Christen. 

“Let me help,” Christen whispered, sitting up on her knees in the middle of her bed, “let me give you a massage to help you wind down.” 

Tobin’s eyes went wide at the suggestion as Christen’s hands drifted down to the hem of her sweatshirt. 

“Can I take this off?” Christen asked, “we can do it with it on but it will definitely feel a lot better shirtless— _ aaand _ that sounded so sexual I’m sorry.” 

Tobin is pretty sure she’s never blushed so hard but Christen’s kind smile and warm eyes bring her back as she lets her own hands reach up and grip her sweatshirt from the back of the neck, tugging it over her head in a swift motion. She’s not sure if the sound she hears is the fabric brushing against her ear or Christen who lets out a small gasp when she is left sitting there in her sports bra and joggers. 

“Shit—” The older girl whispers, she can’t even see her front, Tobin’s position in front of her has only left her back on display but Christen’s mouth still goes dry at the sight. 

Every muscle across the younger girl’s back and shoulders is defined in a way Christen has never seen. Josh was relatively big but Tobin was— _ built. _ “Lay on your stomach for me?” Christen breathed out, trying to maintain her composure enough as to not freak out Tobin.

  
  


Tobin obliged, laying out across the bed and waiting just a moment before Christen is swinging a leg over her own and straddling her thighs after reaching into her bedside table to grab some lotion.

“I hope you don’t mind smelling like me.” Christen teased as she squeezed some of the vanilla lotion into her hand. 

“I love how you smell—” Tobin assured the older girl, trying her best to relax her muscles and pretend like she wasn’t freaking out a little bit.

Tobin let out a shaky breath just before Christen’s hands fell to her shoulders and she began rubbing and caressing the smooth skin beneath her fingertips. 

Tobin focused on her breathing—but the fire being lit anywhere Christen’s hands touched made it difficult to maintain. They were warm and strong and Tobin immediately felt the tension in every muscle begin to fade as Christen focused in—paying particular attention to anywhere that elicited an intake of breath or soft moan.

Christen’s hands worked all the way down her back, slowly but surely, listening to the younger girl’s breathing even out as she finally let herself relax into the touch.

  
  


It felt so good—

Tobin couldn’t remember the last time she had a massage, and Christen had been right, she was incredibly tense. 

“Is this okay? Am I pressing too hard?” Christen asked softly, as she rubbed at one of the many knots in the younger girl’s back. 

“No—no that feels really good,” Tobin mumbled, letting out another small moan when the cheerleader massaged a particularly sore spot near the base of her right hip—digging into the muscles with her thumb and the heel of her hand. 

Tobin felt her blush return as Christen’s fingers dipped the slightest bit under the waistband of her joggers to get a better angle on the spot. She felt a warmness spread through her entire body as Christen’s hips rocked lightly against her as she kneads away at the muscles. The cheerleader was light on top of her but Tobin’s whole body felt heavy in the best way as she let herself give in to the relaxation. 

  
  


In the end, Tobin had nearly been lulled to sleep by Christen’s soothing voice and expert hands. 

She had been so relaxed that she hadn’t felt the older girl lean forward slightly until a soft pair of lips met her right shoulder near the back of her neck. “Was that good?” She whispered into the skin, goosebumps rising on the bare skin as Tobin was brought back to reality—

The reality where Christen was on top of her, leaned over her back and kissing bear skin that Tobin herself couldn’t see. Each press of her lips was like an electric shock to the younger girl who took a moment to realize she’d been asked a question.

“So good.” Tobin breathed out, feeling the warmth move away as Christen rolled off of her.

Christen was about to speak again when Tobin rolled over, sitting up and revealing her bare stomach—and more specifically, her abs, to Christen for the first time. 

“Holy fuck—” Christen breathed out, eyes widening as he looked over the younger girl. “Tobin...god, you’re so hot.” Christen almost laughed as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. 

Blushing heavier than before under Christen’s gaze, Tobin repositioned herself to be sitting up against the head of the bed, next to Christen whose eyes followed her unashamedly. 

  
  
  


And then Tobin isn’t sure what happens first—

Whether it’s Christen swinging a leg over the top of her body and straddling her hips, or the cheerleader capturing her lips in a searing kiss. 

Not that the order of events matters all that much when she is currently shirtless—making out with Christen Press in her bed. 

_ Oh my god. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. What do I do, where should I put my hands _ — _ am I even good at this? Kissing is one thing but this is _ — _ so much more than kissing. I can’t be that bad or she would have stopped right? She wouldn’t seem so into this? I’m overthinking. I need to stop thinking and start doing. Doing what though? Fuck.  _

Tobin’s hands are practically cemented to Christen’s hips, nervous and unsure of where to go from there.

The older girl sensed the uncertainty, pulling back from the kiss momentarily to look into Tobin’s eyes as she reached behind her—tugging on Tobin’s wrist and encouraging her hand down until it was resting on her butt overtop of her leggings. 

“You’re allowed to touch me, T.” Christen whispered, kissing the edge of Tobin’s mouth, “but stop me if anything is too much okay?” She waited for Tobin to nod her head before pulling her pack into a slow, deep kiss. She went slower this time—letting Tobin dictate the pace a bit more while she became more comfortable. 

It took a few minutes but Tobin quickly caught on to all the things Christen seemed to like. Her confidence began to grow as she elicited a small moan from the older girl after grazing her teeth across Christen’s bottom lip. She repeats the action again, this time biting down lightly and sucking for just a moment before releasing. This time Christen’s hips rolled into Tobin’s in response which caused both girls to let out a small whimper.

Christen eventually broke away for air, redirecting the soccer player’s mouth down to her neck with a light tug on her hair. 

Tobin tentatively explored this new space, with one hand threading through Christen’s curls and the other still palming the cheerleader’s butt. 

Christen’s breathing was heavy and Tobin could hardly believe the effect she was having on her—Christen bit at her own lip as Tobin found the most sensitive spot on her neck with no direction, biting down experimentally and sucking a bit harder when she felt Christen’s hips roll into her once again. 

“Fuck, Tobin.” The cheerleader breathed out, pulling Tobin back into a kiss that she slowly brought down before pulling away completely and leaning her forehead on Tobin’s shoulder. “We should slow down.” She breathed out, “Was that too much? I’m sorry I like—attacked you.” 

“Chris it wasn’t too much, I promise. I’m slightly overwhelmed because I liked that a lot and I really want it to happen again—but I promise you did nothing wrong.” Tobin’s cheeks were red and her lips swollen as Christen pulled back to meet her eyes again. 

“I can guarantee you  _ that _ will be happening again in the near future since I know you’re okay with it.” Christen smirked. 

“I like the sound of that…” Tobin admitted, heat rising to her cheeks when she realized her hand was still firmly cupping the cheerleader’s ass.

“Yeah?” 

“Mhmmm.” Tobin hummed, wrapping her arms soundly around Christen’s slim waist and pulling her into a hug while the older girl was still sitting on her lap. 

“Well good because you are really... _ really _ good at that. Although, we’ll have to work on you moving your own hands because mine have places of their own to be.”

Tobin bowed her head, nuzzling into the crook of Christen’s neck as she thought about just how good Christen’s hands felt on her body. 

“I’m just teasing you, T. Come on, let’s lay down for a bit and I’ll actually turn a movie on. I’ll set an alarm to make sure we leave on time to get you to practice okay?” 

“Okay —yeah that sounds good.” Tobin smiles.

  
  


Tobin fell asleep instantly. With her head on Christen’s chest and the older girl’s hand running through her hair. 

  
  


It was nearly an hour later when the two girls were awoken —

“Mo, are you in there?” Christen’s dad knocked once before opening the door to her bedroom, startling both girl’s awake from their nap. 

“Dad!”

Tobin blushed heavily when she sat up, realizing she was still shirtless and quickly reached out for her sweater, tugging it over her head in a rush. 

“Sorry mo.” The man apologized genuinely, turning away from the bed the second he had caught sight of the mortified girl next to his daughter despite the harmless position they had been in. 

“You can turn around dad, it’s okay.” Christen shook her head, sliding her hand under the cover’s to link her fingers with Tobin’s—she gave a gentle squeeze in an attempt to lessen the younger girl’s nerves. 

“I’m sorry mo, I just wanted to let you know I sealed that deal at work thanks to the amazing letter you helped me write up. I assumed you’d be alone since you usually come back here for your free periods to nap.”

“Dad!! That’s amazing, I’m so happy it worked out. And apology accepted, just try and actually wait for a response next time you knock yeah?” 

Tobin smiled to herself as she witnessed the interaction between Christen and her dad. The cheerleader had mentioned the good relationship between her and her parents but this sort of open and kind communication she certainly wasn’t used to. 

“Well, I’m taking all my girls out for dinner to celebrate tonight. Will uh—” Cody nodded his head kindly towards Tobin who immediately took notice of the man's attempt to avoid referring to her as a friend as many parents would in this situation. 

“Dad, this is Tobin; Tobin, this is my dad Cody.” 

“Nice to meet you, Tobin. Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?” 

Tobin is taken aback by the question—almost shocked at the genuine way he was asking, it was obvious the invite wasn’t just a formality because she was in the room. 

“It’s uh—good to meet you too, sir. I would love to join you guys tonight but I’ve actually got practice pretty soon.”

“Two things. I think you misheard my name because it’s Cody, not sir. And second, What’s your sport?” 

“Sorry si—uh, Cody… and soccer. Soccer is my sport.” Tobin smiles nervously—overwhelmed by the number of firsts she’s experienced in just a few short days. 

“Good for you kid, never did quite have the stamina for that one myself, I was more of an American football guy. More stops and starts to catch your breath with that one. I do love to watch though so I’ll have to catch one of your games coming up.”

“Funny you should mention that dad! Because  _ Tobin _ actually plays on the National Team who are playing here in Carson in a few weeks and I thought maybe you’d want to come watch with me.” Christen winked at Tobin who blushed again, bowing her head. “Chriiis.” She mumbled shyly, making sure the older girl remembered how much she hated that kind of attention despite how honoured she was that Christen wanted to bring her dad to see her play. 

“Well, that sounds like something I can’t miss. I’d love to hear more about that but Christen’s been side-eyeing me to leave since before I even walked in. It was great to meet you kid, you’ll have to join us another time for dinner so we can talk real football some more.” 

Tobin smiled as Cody shut the door to the bedroom as Christen flopped back down, dragging Tobin with her. 

“He loves you,” Christen mumbled into the soccer player’s shoulder, breathing in her scent on the soft black material of her crewneck. 

“He does?” 

“Mhmm, absolutely. Like he  _ really _ likes you. Also just to boost your ego a bit because you deserve it, he never  _ once _ invited Josh out to dinner with us. He ate here sometimes but he was  _ never _ invited out to family dinners so consider yourself locked in already.” 

/

“Darling? Were you aware our daughter has a girlfriend?” Cody pondered as his wife joined him in the living room after he made his way down from Christen’s room. 

“Who has a what now?” Stacy nearly dropped her glass as her eyes directed to the staircase he had just descended from. 

“Nice girl, seems like the kind who will compliment your house when she meets you in a bit here.” 

/

“You really did a number on my neck, T.” Christen teased as she emerged from her ensuite bathroom. 

The cheerleader brushed her curls aside, showing off the large redish purple mark that had appeared under her jaw. 

“Holy shit I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean for tha—” The younger girl was cut off by a kiss as Christen stepped between her legs that were dangling off her bed. 

“Tobin—I’m not upset about it. I like it…” She whispered in the soccer player’s ear. “Plus, what’s the point of having this much hair if I can’t use it to hide hickeys? I also have a great concealer,” the cheerleader winked. She was about to crawl back into bed, kneeling on either side of Tobin’s legs to straddle her waist again when her phone began ringing out with the alarm. 

“Ughhh.” Christen groaned, leaning her head on Tobin’s shoulder. “Not fair.” She pouted, stepping away and offering Tobin her hand. 

  
  


The two girls made their way downstairs, hands loosely holding on to one another and Tobin blushed as she watched Christen’s parents appear in her peripheral vision. Christen didn’t seem phased though, gripping Tobin’s hand tighter as they met at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Hello dear.” Christen’s mom greeted with a cheerful smile, smiling at Tobin as well. 

“Hey mom, this is Tobin. Tobin, this is my mom Stacy.” 

“Hello Tobin, it’s lovely to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too Mrs. Press.” Tobin returned the kind smile, “You have a beautiful home.”

The girls heard a chuckle from behind them and turned to find Christen’s dad smirking. “I told you she seemed like the type that would compliment your home.” He teased, patting the soccer player on her shoulder. 

“Okay that’s enough teasing Tobin, she has to go now, I’ll be back soon!” Christen tugged on the blushing soccer player’s hand, grabbing her keys on the way out the door. “Love you guys!”

  
  
  


“Not bad Tobs, first meeting and they both already love you.”

“They seem great.” Tobin smiled, opening up now that she was out of the spotlight. “They seem really chill about me being a girl—or like, being a girl with  _ you _ I mean.”

“They are, I’m really lucky, they’ve always been super relaxed about it. They don’t care who we date as long as they are a good person.” 

“Sooo not Josh then…” Tobin smirked as Christen pulled out of the driveway. 

“Oh my god no they  _ hated _ Josh. They never told me to my face until after we broke up but I could always tell. I guess I was never too upset about it because deep down I knew he wasn’t great so I wasn’t really offended. But with you on the other hand, I can guarantee the second I walk back in that house they will be grilling me with questions about you and when they get to actually meet and talk to you for real… on the topic of parents, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course…” 

“Are your parents okay with you being gay?” 

Tobin nodded with a small smile, “Yeah they’re good about it. They don’t care who I like so long as I’m not actually acting on it of course because that would mean I’m doing something other than soccer. I actually think the last genuinely good conversation I had with them was when I came out two years ago.”

“What was that like?” 

“I uh—I was fourteen and I had just come back home from my first time training with the senior national team. I was rooming with Heather O’Reilly whose a pretty big name on the team and an idol of mine… we were just talking one night and she asked me a few questions and then she asked if I had a boyfriend to which my exact response was “ew gross,  _ no _ ” so naturally that made her assume I wasn’t into guys as one would and so she asked if I had a girlfriend… aaand then I kinda freaked out. Like really bad. Almost had a panic attack. She was super cool though and helped me out and we just joke about it now because I had like a literal  _ gay panic _ realization moment. Anyway—then I came home and I sat in my room for like two days and like refused to talk to my parents until my mom kinda broke down because she was actually really worried about me. Long story short I finally let her in, told her what was happening and they were both really good about it—it lasted like a week, they treated me like normal until it seemed like I had calmed down enough and then it was back to business as usual.” 

“Tobin I can’t imagine how hard that is for you… knowing that deep down somewhere they care about your feelings but not enough to realize that they are running you into the ground and only pushing you further away from them in the process.” 

“Yeah it’s uh—it’s not ideal, sometimes I wish that I had never played soccer, I could’ve chosen something else and had a regular life and regular parents, and I could have a girlfriend without having to sneak around behind their backs…” 

“They truly don’t even see what they are doing wrong do they?” 

“No… all they see is my future success. I don’t know why it’s so important to them that I’m better than everyone else but that’s all they see when they look at me. It’s like I’m not even their kid, I’m just their soccer playing machine.” 

“I’m sorry T…” 

“It’s okay, really. It’s not forever and no matter how shitty it is sometimes, I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had because of them.” 

“I really admire you, Tobin. You are going to do some really amazing things in your life and no matter what I hope you know you’ve earned your way there. It’s not just because of your parents and their money. Obviously I know those things open doors but you have the talent to keep them open for yourself. I know you have to get out now and I don’t want you to be late so the last thing I’m going to say is I want us to have a code word —for when I try and pull you away from some kind of training and you really can’t say no—I need a signal to know when you aren’t playing hard to get and just really really can’t miss something. ”

Tobin burst into laughter at the older girl who remained unphased. “Tobin I’m serious. Because as you know I am stubborn so I need to know when I don’t stand a chance.” 

“How about; Christen, no,. I can’t leave, I have training.” Tobin winked, causing the other girl to give her a playful shove.

“Sorry, I don’t respond to that as you learned today.” Christen winked as Tobin stepped out of her car. “I’ll think of something! Have a good practice!” The cheerleader blew Tobin a kiss who of course, blushed at the action before jogging over to the field. 

  
  
  


“Hello lovely daughter of ours, care to sit?” 

“You knowww I’ve actually got a bunch of homework I should probably get started on sooo” Christen gave a charming smile in her attempt to dash upstairs when her mom called out. 

“Nice try! Come tell us all about this mysterious girlfriend of yours.” 

“Girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend…” Christen teased, walking slowly into the family room where her parents were sitting. “At least not yet.” She mumbled under her breath causing both of her parents to let out a laugh. 

“Look I’m just going to come right out and say it,” Cody started, waving his hand in the air dramatically, “The poor girl only said about two and half words to me because she was too busy shaking with nerves but I love her and I would just like it to be known that she has already made a better impression on me in thirty seconds than  _ Joshua  _ ever did.” 

“She’s really great dad… like I said she’s not my girlfriend yet but I do want her to be and hope that she will be soon.” 

“Well you make sure she knows she’s welcome here any time kiddo, I’d love to really get to talk to her.” 

“I will, dad. She’s kind of busy like all the time and her parents are —um,  _ difficult, _ but I’ll see what I can do.”   
  


“Difficult? Are they not okay with her being gay?” 

“No it’s not that . It’s more that uh—it’s not really my place to share but they are just super intense about her training—she practically trains all day every day and never has a break.” 

“Christen… is it more than that?”

“I… I don’t know. I really don’t, she hasn’t gone too into detail about some things, I just know that they are really intense and kind of freak if she does anything outside of soccer.” 

“So I’m assuming they didn’t know she was here today then?” 

“No...and I know you probably don’t like the sound of that but you have to understand that they are so unfair to her—they saw her talking to me one time and they completely lost it because I’m not a soccer player which makes me a distraction and—”

“Mo, take a breath. I’m not upset about her being here, I’m not her parent which means that’s her decision, okay? You know your mother and I trust you, you’re a good kid and Tobin seems like one too. But I need you to tell me if there is something more serious happening with her parents okay? I’m not asking you to dig for information but if there is something that people need to be made aware of you come to me okay?” 

“Okay—I will, I promise dad.”

  
  
  


Just like their last game—Tobin was on fire at practice. She felt free and happy and at ease for the first time in so long. She knew it was because of Christen—and she also knew she wasn’t lucky enough for this feeling to go on too long. 

Unfortunately—the freedom was cut even shorter than she’d expected when she saw her mother pull into the school parking lot near the end of practice. She wasn’t sure why she was her but the soccer player knew it wasn’t for anything good—it never was. 

  
  
  


The silence was deafening as Tobin’s mom pulled out of the parking lot without so much as a glance in the teen’s direction. It was more than five minutes into the drive before she spoke up. 

“Care to explain where the hell you were during your free periods today?” Her voice was quiet but harsh and Tobin felt the blood drain from her face as she scrambled internally to think of an excuse— _ anything _ she could say instead of Christen’s house.

“I have a group project.” She lied, calmly, keeping her voice even and her eyes trained forward. “For history, none of us could meet outside of school before it was due but my partners had one free period each that lined up with both of mine.” 

“Are you lying to me?”

“No. That’s where I was—where are we going?” Tobin asked when she realized they had missed their turn off.

“You missed two whole hours of training today. And whether you’re telling me the truth or not that is unacceptable. The best players in the world don’t miss training, Tobin.” 

“I’m in highschool mom! I have classes, I’m not going to go anywhere in life if I fail out of highschool!”

“Where were you really today!?” Cindy shouted, putting the vehicle into park as she pulled up to one of the many local fields near their home. “Where were you? And don’t even think about lying to me I swear to god—”

“I’m not lying!” Tobin cried out, refusing to give in. Refusing to let her mom ruin the only thing that truly mattered to her right now. The only person that meant anything and the only person that could make this all better—make this feeling go away. 

There was a reason Tobin chose History as her scapegoat. 

Three people knew—to an extent—about her parents.

Kelley, Christen, and Mr. Adams.

The young teacher had pulled some information from Tobin after she’d dozed off in his class on more than one occasion. He didn’t know enough that he felt the need to share the information, but just enough that he had given Tobin his cellphone number in case she ever needed anything such as an extension on an assignment or simply advice from a teacher who was closer to her age than most. 

“I hope you know I will find out if you’re telling me the truth young lady. And if I find out it has anything to do with that girl—”

“What girl?” Tobin asked, playing dumb in a wasted attempt to throw her mom off her case. 

“You know who I’m talking about! That cheerleader from the game, are you still talking to her?!”

“God mom no! I told you we weren’t even friends!” 

“Show me your phone.” 

“Mom are you serious—”

“Show me the phone Tobin!” 

“This is so messed up.” Tobin shoved her phone across the centre console of the vehicle. “You’re not going to find anything.” She rolled her eyes, lacing kicking off her slides and reaching into the back seat to grab her cleats out of her bag. 

It was true. 

She wasn’t going to find anything because Tobin deleted her texts and call history with Christen after every conversation—knowing that her parents weren’t above this sort of thing and that it was bound to happen eventually. 

Besides—Christen would have it all on her phone—if she were ever upset about deleting a particular message or photo.

  
  


She didn’t look for long—some of her anger fading when she’d realized how quick Tobin was to hand over the device. 

“Don’t bother picking me up. I’ll run home when I’m done.” Tobin spoke coldly, grabbing her phone back from her mom before stepping out of the car with her ball and bag in hand. 

  
  
  


The first thing she did when she saw that her mom had really driven off—was text Mr. Adams to ask if he’d be willing to tell a small white lie if he were to receive a phone call from her deranged mother. 

As soon as she had her response she texted Christen—she knew the cheerleader’s house was only a few minutes from here. 

_ Christen: _ Are you busy? 

Tobin pinned her location with the text before putting her phone away and lacing up her cleats and getting to work. 

Tobin loved the feeling of training hard for herself. 

She didn’t train for her parents. 

She trained in spite of them. 

She trained to be the best so that she could have her own future, free of them. 

It was something she had never understood—how they could possibly think that treating her the way they did would end up will for them in the end once she could support herself. But they didn’t think straight—all they thought of were themselves and this dream state of their life they presumed would exist when Tobin no longer lived with them. It was as if they had been put under some spell that fabricated all of these false expectations as that existed only in a world where Tobin didn’t resent them for everything they’d done.

One thing Tobin knew is that she wanted Christen to be a part of that future—and maybe that was crazy—she had only known her for such a short period of time but somehow it just felt right. It felt like they had met for a reason and at a time where Tobin really needed someone in her corner that she could trust. 

She knew when she saw Christen’s BMW pull into the gravel parking lot next to the soccer field—the feeling she got watching the older girl step out of her car, smiling wide and waving as she jogged across the field to Tobin. 

“This is a happy surprise.” Christen smiled as Tobin pulled her in for a hug. “My family went for an early dinner so I had just got home when you texted me.

“I’m sorry I’m sweaty.” Tobin whispered into her neck. 

“I don’t care—I’m just happy to see you, what are you doing out here?” 

“My mom found out I wasn’t training during my free periods today…” The younger girl mumbled, pulling away from the hug to look in Christen’s eyes. 

“Tobin… shit—fuck I’m so sorry—I shouldn’t have made you leave school. How did she find out? I’m so sorry—” Christen’s heart began to race as she rambled on but before she could get too in her head Tobin cut her off with a kiss. It was the first kiss that Tobin had initiated between them and Christen was more than a little taken a back. 

She finally settled in to what was happening—kissing Tobin back strongly—wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck as the soccer player lifted her slightly off the ground, spinning her around once—an action that made the cheerleader smile into the kiss, breaking away to let out a happy laugh as she looked into Tobin’s big brown eyes. 

“Tobs—”

“Will you be my girlfriend, Christen?” 

Tobin can tell by the look in Christen’s eyes that she hadn’t been expecting that. 

To be fair, Tobin hadn’t expected it from herself either but it just sort of happened.

Her cheeks grew a darker shade of pink as Christen’s smile spread across her face. 

“Yes. Yes of course I will be your girlfriend.”

“Really?” Tobin can’t hide the surprise in her own voice—realizing after she had let out the words that perhaps it was too soon for this—she wasn’t exactly up to date on dating etiquette. 

“Yes really. Did you think I’d say no?” Christen teased, leaning her forehead against Tobin’s and pressing another light kiss to her lips. 

“I don’t know—I kind of asked out of the blue and I thought maybe it was too soon to ask or like not a good time or place or something.” 

“Tobin—first of all, there is no such thing as a bad time or place with you; second, I would have said yes if you had asked me the very first day we met.” 

“Oh—um… well okay, cool then.” 

“I’m really happy you asked—I was hoping you would but I was also planning on asking you soon if you didn’t do it.” 

“I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend…” Tobin whispered, mostly to herself. 

“Are you kidding? I can’t believe  _ you _ are  _ my _ girlfriend. How long do we have here? Is your mom picking you up?” Christen asked quietly.

“No, I told her I’d run home so no specific time—I’ll stay at least another hour though, I have to make up for my missed training earlier.” The soccer player rolled her eyes, my mom will probably check my apple watch and make sure my heart rate went high-enough for her liking.”

“Heart rate hm? Come with me.” Christen winked, grabbing Tobin’s hand and pulling her towards the parking lot.

“Woah woah woah I can’t do this again, getting caught once in a day is more than enough.”

“You’re not getting caught.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I have a theory… and my theory is that I can easily make your heart rate go high enough all on my own to avoid any suspicion.”

“Chris what are you— _ oh.” _

Tobin’s mind went blank the second Christen opened the back seat of her car and the younger girl put two and two together—

Christen’s theory was definitely going to come true. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, let me know what you think/what you'd like to see:)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Sorry for the longer wait but I was struggling with getting this chapter right on top of studying for exams but I hope you enjoy!   
We are about to hit the "climax" of this story if you can call it that, before we come close to the end:)   
Thanks for the support with this story and let me know what you think:)

It took no time at all for Tobin to decide that she would never doubt one of Christen’s theories ever again.

Forget her heart rate going up—

Tobin’s heart came to a complete and utter stop the second Christen climbed into the backseat of her car after her, closing the door behind her and straddling Tobin’s hips just like she had in her bedroom. 

She didn’t make a move to kiss her though—not yet. 

First—Christen held eye contact with the younger girl as she slowly peeled off the flowy white tank top she was wearing, watching Tobin’s eyes widen and lips part slightly at the purposeful action. It was empowering for her—seeing the effect she had on Tobin. She had never felt this way in her previous relationship, knowing that Josh didn’t care at all about her face and that he’d be fine if she was just a floating ass and legs. Her breasts were small, something he had been dull enough to point out on multiple occasions—and something that Christen was often self-conscious of. But she couldn’t be right now—not with the way Tobin was biting her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes roamed down Christen’s nearly bare chest, to her stomach and back up to her eyes again. 

“I got to make out with you shirtless so I thought it was only fair that I returned the favour.” Christen whispered slowly, chewing on her bottom lip as Tobin’s mind slowly but surely caught up to where they were. 

_ Okay. Don’t freak out. This is nothing new _ — _ you were literally making out in her bed a few hours ago, this is no different. Just do what you did before. God who the hell am I kidding this IS different _ — _ she just took off her shirt and it’s not because I’m giving her a massage and fuck you’re taking too long thinking about this and now she looks worried like she’s done something wrong _ — _ say something idiot! _

“Tobin? Did I overstep...is this too much?” 

Tobin immediately shook her head, “God no,” She breathed out, leaning forward and capturing Christen’s lips as quickly as she could. 

  
  


_ That’s more like it. _

  
  


Tobin had never given in to what she wanted—had never let herself feel things that teenagers feel. She had never allowed herself to get wrapped up in another person because it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the sneaking around and the stress of her parents finding out. It wasn’t worth what would likely be a small war if they knew what she was doing right now.

If they knew that their ticket to recognition had skipped training this afternoon to makeout with Christen in her bedroom—and again tonight, with her hands running down the smooth skin of Christen’s bare back as they made out in the back of her BMW. 

It was risky... _ so _ fucking risky.

  
  


But this was so much more than worth it. 

  
  


Kissing Christen was a feeling unlike any other to Tobin. 

And she might be the first girl that Tobin had ever kissed but the soccer player would swear on her life that no one could kiss better than Christen.

Her lips were soft and smooth and a perfect contrast to how she kissed—hard and strong and with a purpose. Christen parted her lips, welcoming Tobin’s tongue as she deepened the kiss, slowly exploring Christen’s mouth and letting her mind shut off to anything that wasn’t Christen. She let herself fall victim to the feeling of Christen’s tongue battling with her own. To the feeling of the cheerleader gently sucking on her bottom lip, scraping her teeth over the skin experimentally as she studied Tobin the same way the younger girl was doing to her. 

Tobin’s strong hand comes up, cupping Christen’s jaw as she gains confidence in the kiss. Christen moans lightly when Tobin’s other hand comes to rest on her bare back, fingers dancing along the fabric of her pale pink lace bralette. 

Even when she wasn’t trying—Tobin’s grip was strong, and even the slightest pressure of her fingers pressing into Christen’s skin made the older girl’s hip rock involuntarily.

It was electrifying—it was so many new feelings all at once that Tobin never even knew existed. She had never even considered that kissing someone could feel  _ this _ good. 

Tobin thinks, for a second too long about moving her hand downward before Christen beats her to it again—not having the patience to wait and dragging Tobin’s hand down her back to rest on her butt again.

She’s wearing a small pair of Nike shorts now—short enough that if Tobin moved her hand any lower she would be met with no barrier between her hand and Christen’s smooth skin. 

Before Tobin could think too hard again, Christen’s own hands dip under the hem of Tobin’s shirt—making no motion to pull it off, instead just running her blunt nails over the younger girl’s hard abs, causing Tobin to sigh in pleasure. 

It didn’t take a lot for Tobin to grasp how fond the cheerleader was of her abs—she practically moaned as Tobin flexed her stomach, hardening the muscles under Christen’s desperate touch and feeling more and more confident with every sound the girl on top of her made.

After a while Tobin took it upon herself to break away, tilting Christen’s head slightly with a gentle tug on her wild curls and began kissing down the spanse of her neck.

She had already committed to memory all of the most sensitive spots on the older girl’s neck— 

She felt Christen’s nails dig in slightly against her back when she lightly sucked on the mark she had already left under the cheerleaders jaw—remembering the reaction that spot had gotten last time. 

“Mm—Tobin…” Christen’s voice was higher than usual as she continued to roll her hips into Tobin’s with the help of the younger girl’s hand on her butt.

Christen quickly realized that Tobin had found her comfort zone—she was no longer hesitant in her touches or the pressure of her teeth against the cheerleader’s skin. She had so easily discovered many of the things that drove her mad.

Much like Christen—Tobin kissed with a purpose. But she kissed  _ slow _ , dragging her tongue along Christen’s lower lip teasingly, drawing the older girl closer before going in with a hand tangled in curly hair and the other massaging the smooth skin under the girl’s tiny shorts. Tobin kissed in a way that left Christen wanting— _ needing _ more. She couldn’t get enough of the soccer player—but she also knew she was getting a little too turned on for their current location in the back of her BMW. Not that she was opposed to ever having sex in her car with Tobin—but definitely not this soon or for the other girl’s first time. 

“Tobs—Tobin…” The cheerleader breathed out, pulling back from the kiss just far enough that their foreheads were resting together. 

Tobin was in a world of her own though, not yet done with the other girl as she moved her mouth back to Christen’s neck—her caramel skin smelled an intoxicating mix of vanilla and some sort of berry the soccer player couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“God—Tobin babe you’ve gotta stop,” Christen whined against her own will. 

“Don’t want to—” Tobin kissed the words into the space where Christen’s neck met her shoulder, biting down softly and eliciting another gasp from the girl above her. 

“I don’t want to either but I’m so fucking turned on right now and we’re not about to have sex for the first time in the back of my car—” 

Tobin’s mouth stopped it’s assault on the cheerleader’s neck immediately—coming back into the moment and being hit with the warm feeling pooling low in her stomach. “Oh—” Tobin whispered breathlessly as the moment really caught up with her. “Yeah, yeah okay—”

“You make me feel so beautiful…” Christen blushed, out of breath and shaking her head as Tobin just watched her with adoring eyes. 

“You  _ are _ so beautiful, Chris,” Tobin whispered, placing a quick kiss on the cheerleader's forehead as they both calmed down and evened out their breathing.

“How’s that heart rate doing babe?” Christen questioned with a teasing glint in her eyes.

“Pretty sure it’s never been higher—but it also may have stopped completely a few times. Overall I think it’s safe to say your theory proved true.”

“Good to know—I’ll keep that in mind,” Christen smirked as she pulled her shirt back over her head, thankful in that moment for her extremely tinted windows—knowing that someone would practically need to have their face pressed against the glass to see inside. 

“I should probably actually train a bit before heading home, as much as my mom drives me insane I do enjoy it on my own accord.” 

“Do you want me to head out or can I stay and watch?” 

“I don’t mind you staying if you’d like. Since I’m working alone I can’t say it will be anything too exciting but you’re always welcome.” 

“Well personally I think you are plenty exciting to look at all on your own so I think I’ll have a great time.” 

  
  
  


Christen watched in awe as the younger girl got down to business.

Tobin set up a row of plastic cones that she pulled out of her bag and began working on a few drills that had Christen mesmerized. 

The soccer player made every move flow effortlessly but Christen could tell that each one was possible only because of the years of blood sweat and tears she had poured into the game. 

She watched intently as a small crease formed between Tobin’s eyebrows as she focused on her task at hand—her feet moving so quickly that Christen almost got dizzy if she stared for too long.

Christen also noticed the small but ever-present smile that resides on the younger girl’s face when she plays. It’s abundantly clear that Tobin loves soccer more than anything despite the way her parents train her like an animal. It makes Christen's heart ache knowing how much pain it causes her and how she’s wished she had never played despite her obvious love for the game. 

She knew there wasn’t a lot she could do right now to help—but knowing that in some form she had become a safe-haven for the other girl and an escape from her reality was more than enough for now. 

And as she watched Tobin curl shot after shot into the back of the net from various angles. Almost every ball grazed the top corner of either goal post—so close that Christen thinks anyone else in the world’s shot would have bounced back at them. 

Christen had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized how much time had passed until Tobin was standing in front of her with a wide smile on her face that had a thin layer of sweat built upon it. The soccer player stuck out her hand to help Christen off the grass, “Pass around with me?” She asked with a sweet smile that Christen knew she would never be able to turn down. 

“Oh god—I haven’t kicked a soccer ball since I was like five years old—my parents tried to get me to play but I refused to go anywhere near the ball, I just sat in the grass and made daisy chains while everyone else ran around me.” 

“Okay well that is an adorable story but...come on.” The soccer player pulled Christen out into the middle of the field and gave her a quick lesson about passing the ball with the inside of her foot. 

“You’re a natural!” Tobin smiled when the older girl lightly tapped the ball in a straight line back to her. It stopped about a foot short of Tobin but she threw her hands up nonetheless, flicking the ball up on top of her foot before passing it back in the air to the cheerleader whose eyes went wide. 

“Tobin!” Christen chastised before catching the ball in her hands.

“Hey hey woah that’s a handball missy!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Christen huffed, sticking her nose up as she placed the ball back on the ground. 

“Handball and arguing with the ref? That’s going to have to be a yellow card.” Tobin shook her head before reaching into her pocket and grasping at nothing, pinching the air between her fingers and holding the hand out towards Christen. 

“No fair, I don’t know the rules,” Christen pouted, sticking out her bottom lip for effect and crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I guess I’ll just have to teach you,” Tobin whispered, wrapping her arms around Christen’s waist and lifting her into the air—effectively wiping the pout off the taller girl’s face as she was spun around. 

“Toby!” Christen laughed, grasping onto her girlfriend’s shirt and holding on tight. “Will you teach me how to shoot the ball?” Christen asked into the warm skin of Tobin’s neck when she let Christen’s feet touch the ground again. 

“Of course, babe! Come on!” Tobin’s smile grew even wider as she tugged Christen’s hand and pulled the ball along with them with her feet towards the net. 

Christen knows it’s too soon—knows that it’s likely just the butterflies in her stomach fluttering around at the possibilities ahead in her new relationship. But she swears—as she watches Tobin’s blinding smile grow bigger by the second while they pass the ball lightly back and forth while the soccer player explains the logistics behind a good shot—that she falls a little bit in love with the younger girl in that moment...and she truly can’t wait for that feeling to grow.

  
  
  


“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming home.” Were the first words Tobin hears when she steps inside her house—nearly three hours after her mom had dropped her off at the field. 

As quickly as her blissful moment with Christen had come—the bubble popped the second she arrived back home. 

“Didn’t want you to accuse me of slacking after missing training earlier.” Tobin rolled her eyes as she stepped out of her shoes at the front door, putting them off to the side and walking into the kitchen where she knew her dinner would be waiting in the fridge as it always was—the perfect amount of calories or carbs or whatever her mom had read in some article depending on her workout or game schedule for the next day. 

“Don’t use that tone with me, young lady. I called your history teacher so I know you were doing a project during your free periods but there is no need for that.” 

“Well, maybe there wouldn’t be a need if you’d apologize for getting pissed at me when I did nothing wrong.” 

“Tobin Powe—”

“I’m not hungry,” Tobin spoke through her teeth, shoving back the plate she had grabbed from the fridge before storming out of the kitchen and up the stairs as her mom watched, wide-eyed and mouth slightly ajar. 

Tobin’s awake in bed—staring at her ceiling long after Christen had fallen asleep on the phone. She feels tears begin to pool in her eyes as memories spark in her mind from five years ago when she had first been invited to a youth national team camp. 

_ “Babygirl I’m so proud of you! This is an amazing accomplishment, you’re going to be the youngest one there! Probably the youngest to ever be invited.”  _

_ “Wait—does it say U17? I—shouldn’t I be with the U15’s?” Tobin’s eyes went wide as she read the e-mail over her mom’s shoulder. _

_ “I guess someone decided you were ready enough to jump right in with the older kids honey.” _

_ “But… seventeen? They’re all gonna be so much bigger and stronger than me, I’m already small for my age!”  _

_ “Oh, sweetheart don’t be scared! You are so talented Tobin and I’m sure it will be a little intimidating at first but you’ll fit in there! Every girl that will be there was invited just like you were which means you belong there okay?”  _

_ “O-okay,” Tobin whispered, fear still present in her big brown eyes as she read the words over and over. _

_ “Your father and I are so proud of you, Tobin. You’re going to do amazing things.”  _

_ “I just want to play soccer,” Tobin whispered with a small smile, looking to her mom for reassurance.  _

_ “This is your ticket to doing just that, my love.” Cindy had reassured her, hugging her daughter as she read over the email herself, wheels turning in her head as she understood at that moment just how talented Tobin truly was.  _

  
  
  


The next couple of weeks passed fairly uneventfully—Christen woke up early nearly every morning to meet Tobin at the gym, a highlight in both of their days. 

Christen would admire the younger girl from afar at each of her games—knowing her parents would easily catch on to any interaction between the two. 

They would meet up at every lunch hour and every so often go to Christen’s house during their free-periods where they would watch movies, nap, and  _ not _ watch movies. 

Both girls were falling quickly for one another, as Christen became a bright light in Tobin’s life seemingly overnight and Tobin showed Christen what it was really like to be valued and cared for in a relationship. 

  
  


**“** Hey babe! Question…” Tobin closed her locker to find Christen’s smiling face on the other side. 

“What’s up Chris?” 

“Soo we’ve got a big cheer competition coming up this weekend and I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come? I won’t be upset if you can’t, I know how busy you are and that it’s hard with your parents and also that camp starts on Monday, but I thought I’d ask because I just want you to know I want you there… and I’ve never really had someone come watch me before aside from my family.” 

**“** Didn’t Josh used to go to those?” 

“God no,” Christen rolled her eyes at the very idea, “the only thing Josh cared about in regards to cheerleading was the short skirts —you know I actually had to explain to him multiple times that girls don’t just wear their uniforms to school every day like in those stupid tv shows?” 

Tobin shook her head, taking Christen’s hand into her own as they walked towards their usual classroom for their lunch date. “What an idiot...anyway—I’d really love to go Chris and I promise I’ll try my best okay? I’ll try and think of an excuse that will let me be there.” 

Christen’s glowing smile was reward enough for the stress of lying to her parents. “That is more than I could ask for. Thank you Tobs,” Christen leaned over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek.

“Perhaps I’ll say, hey mom and dad I’m going out tonight to watch my insanely beautiful girlfriend dance in a really short skirt, don’t wait up!” 

“You know I think that just might work, I can’t believe you’ve never thought of that excuse before now. Don’t worry though, if you can’t make it I’ll just have to dance for you in my short skirt some other time.” Christen winked. 

“Woah wait a second—does that offer still stand if I  _ can _ come to your competition? Because if not I may have to think about which is a priority for me.” Tobin teased, getting a playful shove from the cheerleader. 

“You don’t need a special occasion to get a dance from me babe. I’m all yours.” Christen smirked, knowing and expecting the deep blush that always built upon Tobin’s cheeks whenever she teased her like that. 

“Lucky me,” Tobin whispered, tucking a loose curl behind Christen’s ear. “Oh that reminds me, I got you something.” 

“What? What do you mean you got me something?” Christen's eyes widened slightly as she chewed on her bottom lip while Tobin dug through her bag. 

“Okay I feel like I set the bar high by announcing it, it’s nothing crazy but I know you said these were your favourites so I stopped on my run home yesterday.” The soccer play smiled wide as she handed over a small bag to Christen. 

“Toby! You remembered!” Christen's eyes got even wider as she quickly opened up the bag of mint chocolates.

“Of course I did.” Tobin answered like it was the simplest thing in the world, overjoyed to have made the older girl so happy with such a simple gift. 

“It means a lot to me that you remembered something so small like that T… seriously, I know it’s just chocolate but it means so much that you care enough to remember something small like that.” 

“I care about you a lot Chris…” Tobin responded seriously, blushing as she rolled one of the gold rings from Christen’s hand between her fingers. 

“I care about you a lot too, Tobin. You’re so sweet.”

“I’m gonna miss seeing you at school next week while I’m at camp even though technically I’ll still be in town.” 

“I’ll miss you too, T. I’m so excited to see you play with the National Team though!! That will be so cool.” 

“It will be cool knowing you’re there.” Tobin smiled. 

  
  
  


“Hey mom?” 

“Yes dear?” 

“One of the girl’s from the team, Kelley, is having a team bonding thing at her place on Saturday… do you think I could go?” 

“Is it a party?” Tobin’s mom asked seriously, putting down the paper in her hand to look into Tobin’s eyes for any trace of a lie. 

“No, it’s just like an all day thing and only the girls from the team will be there. Her parents will be there too so not a party at all.

  
  


_ “Dude seriously say it’s at my place. Dirty Dan is so chill he’d totally lie for you if your mom calls. He’s a bro and as long as he knows nothing illegal is happening he’ll totally have your back.”  _

_ “Thanks KO, seriously I owe you one for this, I’ll make sure to text you and let you know if my mom says yes so you can expect the call.”  _

_ “Dude your girlfriend hooked me up with Alex Morgan, you owe me nothing. In fact, I am permanently indebted to the both of you.”  _

  
  


“And if I call Kelley’s parents they will confirm this?”

“Yes of course. I promise it’s nothing more than a team gathering and I won’t be out too late either.” 

“Alright, you can go so long as you’re not home late. We’re going to the early service Sunday morning so that you can get a good training in early enough in the day that you’re ready to go at camp on Monday.”

“Cool, thanks mom!”

  
  


Tobin was pleased but more than a little surprise at her mom being so quickly accepting of the plan. It was rare that she agreed to anything outside the house that wasn’t explicitly training related. 

  
  


_ Tobin: _ I have good news:) 

_ Christen: _ You haven’t gotten tired of me yet and still want to be my girlfriend??

_ Tobin: _ Well yes… but also, I can come to your comp on saturday! 

_ Christen: _ Wait are you serious? Tobin!! I’m so happy you’re going to be there! 

_ Christen:  _ What’d you tell your mom?

_ Tobin: _ Kelley’s covering for me with a “team bonding day” at her place.

_ Tobin: _ Which meaaaans I can hangout after you crush it at the competition because I told her it’s an all day thing:) 

_ Christen:  _ This news just keeps on getting better:) I’m so glad you’re coming babe<3 thank you for doing that for me:* 

_ Tobin: _ No where I’d rather be Chris:) 

_ Christen: _ Call me tonight when you’re ready for bed? 

_ Tobin:  _ Don’t I always?;) 

_ Christen:  _ Just making sure;) 

  
  
  


“I’m so proud of you Chris! You were amazing out there!” 

Christen tucked her head into the crook of Tobin’s neck as the younger girl held her tight. “Thank you so much for coming, Tobin. It really means more to me than you know.” The cheerleader mumbled into Tobin’s warm skin, pulling back slightly and placing a quick kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “My dad asked if you wanted to join us for dinner since you have some time tonight?” 

“I’d love to.” Tobin smiled accepting Christen’s hand as the two walked over to meet Christen’s parents. 

“Tobin! It’s good to see you again.” 

“You too Mr. Press, thank you for inviting me to dinner.” 

“Again with the Mr. Press stuff, what’s a guy got to do to be called Cody around here huh?” 

“Dad leave Tobin alone—there are worse things she could call you than Mr. Press.” Christen put her arm around the blushing younger girl’s waist. 

“I won’t argue that—hope you like Mexican kid, it’s Christen’s favourite so I’m guessing that’s where our champ would like to go tonight. 

  
  


The group makes their way to Christen’s favourite restaurant, sitting at a large booth with Christen’s parent’s on one side and Tobin and Christen on the other. 

Christen was quick to reach under the table and intertwine her fingers with Tobin, bringing their hands to rest in her lap as she scooted a bit closer to the soccer player. 

“So Tobin, I know soccer takes up a lot of your time but do you have any other interests outside of that?” Christen’s mom asked with a kind smile after their waiter had stopped by to ask about drinks. 

“Uh—yeah I’m kinda interested in like art and photography and stuff… I don’t have a lot of time for it usually but that’s definitely an area I’d love to explore more some day.”

“Art huh? Do you paint or draw at all?” 

“I used to paint a bit when I was younger—I’d love to get back into that actually.” Tobin smiled at the memory—thinking back to afternoons spent with her mom on the back porch, painting “abstract” pieces of their backyard and seeing whose piece turned out the strangest.

Christen immediately noticed when Tobin’s far off smile began to fade, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand lightly and discreetly directing the conversation away from her. 

“Do you want to pick a couple things together and share, T?” The cheerleader asked quietly, capturing Tobin’s thankful gaze with her own as the younger girl nodded with a gentle smile. 

“Yeah that sounds perfect, I’ve never been here so I trust you to pick all the good stuff.” 

Christen’s parents shared a knowing look with each other as they took in the interaction between the two girls. It was clear from a mile away that their daughter was completely infatuated with the younger girl, and Tobin very obviously felt the same way. 

“Be careful kid, Christen likes everything extra hot so if spicy food isn’t your thing I’d be careful who you share with.” 

“Uh oh, maybe I should have ordered a glass of milk.” Tobin winked as Christen rolled her eyes, leaning her head on Tobin’s shoulder for a second. 

Conversation flowed easily through the rest of their meal, Christen’s parents made sure to ask minimal questions about soccer, having received a stern talking to from their daughter prior to the outing. 

Tobin was grateful that it was only nearing 6:00pm when they finished eating, knowing she would still have a few hours before she needed to be home. 

“Do you have time to come over or do you have to head home?” Christen whispered in Tobin’s ear as her parents walked to the front of the restaurant to pay the bill. 

“I have time, I don’t need to be home until ten.” 

Christen’s eyes lit up at getting to spend so much time with the younger girl today. 

“Perfect. Let’s go.” Tobin offered Christen her hand as she stepped out of the booth, making the younger girl blush at the small gesture as they met up with her parents. 

“Is it okay for Tobin to come over for a bit?” Christen asked as the group made their way out to the parking lot. 

“Of course dear, you’re always welcome at our place, Tobin. 

  
  


When they arrived at the Press house, Christen excused herself to take a quick shower while Tobin nervously followed Cody out onto the deck. 

  
  
  


“Can I ask you something kid?” 

“Of course sir—uh Cody.” Tobin smiled shyly with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her joggers. 

“I’m not asking to get you in trouble and you don’t need to lie, but do your parents know where you are tonight?” 

Tobin looked out into the massive yard admiring the view from the family’s home, she let out a small breath before responding. “No. No they don’t—they think I’m at a bonding thing with my soccer team.” 

“And I’m assuming from what Christen told us that they wouldn’t have let you go out if they knew you were here instead hey?” 

“No, sir.” Tobin whispered, not correcting herself this time as Cody nodded slowly. 

“I’m going to ask you one more question, and I don’t need you to go into any kind of detail but as a father I feel like I wouldn’t be doing my job well enough as a dad if I didn’t ask you if your parents have ever laid a hand on you? I’m not trying to make any assumptions but I just want to make sure because from what I’ve heard they can be a little intense with you and your training.” 

Tobin was quick to shake her head. “No—no they’ve, they have never hurt me like that. I uh—it’s a lot sometimes... _ they _ can be a lot. But they’ve never hurt me physically.”

  
  


“Alright then — I just want you to know that you’re always welcome here kid. And I’ll never question you unless I think you’re either in danger or doing something illegal.” 

“Thank you Cody —that means a lot to me. I… I really like Christen and I know it’s wrong to be lying to my parents but I just—I never get to experience normal teenage things because I’m constantly training and for once I’ve just kind of given in and let myself feel like a normal kid and—I don’t know where I’m going with this but… Christen is just really great. She speaks very highly of you and I love the relationship you guys have, it’s really cool to see.” 

Cody’s smile softened as her eyed the nervous teen who had been perpetually avoiding eye contact for their entire conversation. “I got pretty lucky with all my girls here—Christen’s always been special though, I swear she came into the world determined to take it over.”

  
  


“Alright daddy, interrogation time is over! I’m stealing my girlfriend now.” 

Christen skipped onto the deck and quickly pulled Tobin away by her hand and her dad just shook his head at his daughter’s antics as the younger girl was pulled into the house by his daughter. 

  
  
  
  


“Dad, she’s starting! Tobin’s starting the game she’s never started for the National Team before!” Christen shoved her phone in her dad’s face as the man quickly tried to adjust his eyesight to the screen.

“What am I looking at Mo?” 

“The team’s twitter account just posted the starting lineup and Tobin is on it! That’s like a big deal! Oh! And I almost forgot, Tobin told me that we have to stop at will-call on the way in.” 

“Don’t we already have our tickets though?”

“Yeah I don’t know why but she made me promise I’d stop so come on!” Christen pulled her dad’s arm and tugged him through the crowd that had formed outside of Dignity Health Sports Park. 

  
  


“Hi! Um—Tobin Heath told me to stop here before the game?” 

“Name?” 

“Christen Press.” 

“Perfect, Miss Heath left these here for you. Enjoy the match you two!” 

Christen took the bag from the lady behind the desk with a smile on her face. She quickly dug into the bag and pulled out two brand new, white USA jerseys. Both had the name ‘HEATH’ and 17 printed freshly on the back. 

“I got one too?” Cody’s eyes lit up as Christen handed her dad the larger jersey. “Alright, she’s officially in, I love a good jersey.” 

  
  


Tobin played an amazing game —she scored one goal and assisted another before subbing out in the 75th minute. Christen was out of her seat for likely 74 of those 75 minutes, cheering for her girlfriend as her father took many pictures and videos both of Christen and the game itself. While she was disappointed not to be able to see Toobin after the game—she was grateful and proud to have experienced Tobin playing for their country’s national team at sixteen years old. 

  
  


Tobin walked through the tunnel of the stadium, towards the exit where she was meeting her parents. Heather was beside her with an arm around her shoulder —ever since their first interaction, the older player had made it her mission to make Tobin feel safe and comfortable around all the fans and really just at any time during camp. And even thought Tobin hadn’t opened up too much since her first camp, she was grateful for the veteran and was beginning to feel like she was someone she could talk to about her parents. 

The problem with Heather not already knowing about her parents, meant that she didn’t know better than to bring up the girlfriend that Tobin was in no way shape or form supposed to have as they approached Tobin’s parents at the exit of the stadium. 

“Is your girl here tonight Tobs?” 

The young midfielder could feel her parents eyes burning a hole through her skull the second the words left Heather’s mouth. 

“Who?” Tobin tried to ask, her eyes pleading with the older player to catch on to what she was silently begging for. 

_ Please don’t ask again. Please don’t say it. Please don’t say her na _ —

“Christen? Is she here? I’d love to meet her.” 

_ Fuck. _

Tobin knew her parents. She knew they wouldn’t make a scene in public. But she could practically feel the rage building in her mother’s chest as Tobin swallowed thickly, letting a small breath before finally responding to her teammate. 

“No. No she’s not here.” Tobin answered quietly, excusing herself and her parents away from the scene before Heather could ask any more questions. 

Tobin wishes more than anything that Heather hadn’t shown up in that moment. 

That her parents hadn’t come to the game or that they hadn’t been there in  _ that  _ specific moment. 

She wishes that Monday’s game was further away than the twenty-minute drive to LA so that she didn’t have to get in a car with her parents right now and drive home instead of staying with the team. 

She wishes there was something she could do or say to distract her parents or make them think it wasn’t what they thought. 

They walked in dead silence until they reached her parents vehicle and Tobin braced herself for the storm the second the door shut behind her. 

“Give me your phone, Tobin.” 

“Mom—”

“Give me the damn phone!” 

Tobin knew that there was no way she could delete the many messages waiting for her on her cellphone that Christen had undoubtedly sent before, during, and after the game. She knew the second her mom opened the phone that she would see Christen’s name and likely dozens of messages.

Cindy let out a shallow breath the second the phone was in her hand before the screen lit up and her eyes were met with dozens of notifications. 

“How long has this been going on?” She whispered harshly. 

“A little over a month.” Tobin responded quietly, feeling herself getting sick as she refused to open her eyes—hoping and praying if she kept them closed long enough maybe she would just disappear.

“End it.” Cindy spat out, shoving the phone back into Tobin’s lap without even looking at her. “I don’t want you talking to her anymore. You know our rules you know you aren’t allowed to date so end it! If I see another message from her on that phone I’m taking it away.” 

“Mom please, I—I’m sorry for lying about it but please don’t—

“It’s not about the lies Tobin! You were never supposed to do this in the first place! You had to of known this would happen! You’re a smart kid! There never should have been a lie if you would just listen and take your life seriously for once! If you had just stopped talking to that damned girl the night of that game none of this would have happened! Now text her and tell her you won’t be seeing her anymore!” 

“Mom I can’t do that please just—

“Tobin I swear to god send the message or I will do it myself! What the hell were you thinking!? How long did you think you could get away with this?” 

“Mom…” Tobin’s voice broke, making no move to open her phone and send the message that her mom was demanding. 

“That’s enough Tobin! I don’t want to hear it, either end it right now or I’ll do it myself. I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible, I really thought you cared more about how much your father and I do for you.” 

“Of course I care mom! I just don’t understand why this has to affect anything. I’ve been going to training. I haven’t lost sight of what’s important or what I want. Having a girlfriend isn’t affecting anything except for me being happy! If anything I’ve been playing better since I met Christen!”

“Enough! Tobin I’m not listening to this anymore! How many times do we have to have this conversation? You know exactly how I feel about this and those feelings aren’t changing! You’re grounded for a month and you aren’t to do anything but go to school and training that’s it!”

“That’s what I already do! Don’t you get it!?” Tobin’s voice cracked again, tears streaming down her face as her dad pulled their vehicle into the driveway. “All I do is train! I have no life for you to take away from me!” 

Just as they were about to exit the vehicle, Tobin’s phone started vibrating with a call. The soccer player cringed internally as she saw Christen name light up her screen. 

_ Fuck fuck fuck. _

“Mom please don’t answer that —” Tobin begged as her mom reached for the phone that had been set on the centre console of the car, her lip trembling as she watched her mom accept the call and lift the phone to her ear. 

  
  


“Is this Christen?” She asked calmly

“I—yeah, yes this is Christen… who is this?” 

“This is Tobin’s mother.” 

Tobin didn’t have to be there to see the colour drain from Christen’s face as she sucked in a shaky breath. 

“I don’t want to see your name pop up on this phone ever again do you understand? Whatever is going on between you and my daughter is over. She is not to speak to you again and that’s final.” 

“Mrs. Heath I—” Cindy hung up the phone before Christen could finish her sentence.

“I’ll be monitoring your phone.” Cindy speaks harshly. “Go upstairs I’m keeping this with me tonight and you can have it back tomorrow but I’ll be linking your messages with my phone.” 

“I hate you.” Tobin spoke coldly, shaking her head as she slammed the backdoor of the car shut.

“Tobin Heath don’t walk away from me we are not finished with this conversation!”

“What do you want from me?!” Tobin shouted, throwing her arms up in exhaustion as her swollen red eyes pleaded with her mother to let it go —to just once in her life let something go. 

“I want you to care about everything we’ve done to get you where you are! I want you to care about your career!”

“I’m sixteen years old! I’m a fucking kid! I’m a junior in highschool I shouldn’t have to kill myself over my future career right now! You know most parents would be fucking ecstatic that their kid wants to go to college and get a fucking education! The only reason you even care that I go to school now is because no one wants a highschool dropout on their team! If it didn’t mean anything you’d pull me out because it’s precious time I could be training! But no! I go to school, I get perfect grades—I train every fucking second of every day for what? So I can be the  _ first american kid to go pro out of high school? _ Who’s dream is that? Because it’s never been mine! I want to go to UNC! I want to go to college and have that experience and grow as a player there while also living a normal fucking life! And  _ yes _ I do want to go pro, I want to play in Europe or for one of the best teams in the states, I want to keep getting called up to the National team and go to the World Cup and the Olympics and that  _ is _ my dream. But I’m so fucking tired of living my life for  _ your dream.  _ You treat me like a fucking machine who has no feelings! I’m your daughter! Or at least I was before I became your fucking client. I wish I had never even played soccer, you make me hate it!  ” 

Tobin’s voice broke as she finished. Her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were numb from the tears. Her throat burned from her strained voice and her shoulders were shaking with each try for an even breath. 

“Go to your room.” Cindy spoke through her teeth. “And come down tomorrow when you’ve thought about what you just said to me.” 

Tobin let out a pained laugh, she shook her head as she pushed passed her mom to make her way upstairs to her room. “I’ve been thinking about it for five fucking years.” She spat out, never turning around to see the wide eyes and slacked jaws of her parents. 

Tobin was angry—she was sad and exhausted and confused.

But she was also grateful. 

Grateful that her mom was never nearly thorough enough when something like this happened. She thought she had taken away Tobin’s means of communication with the other girl when in reality there were a thousand and one ways she could get in touch with Christen on her computer. 

Tobin immediately pulled out the device and opened her texts—knowing she had a seperate email linked to the imessages on her laptop. 

  
  


_ Tobin:  _ Chris, I’m so sorry about my mom. One of my teammates asked about you after the game when they were around and my mom went crazy the second we were alone. I’ll explain everything but can you please come get me? I can sneak out of my bedroom window once my parents go to sleep… I really need to see you I’m so sorry

_ Christen: _ God I’m so happy to hear from you Tobin, of course I can come baby but are you sure? I don’t want you to get in more trouble:( 

_ Tobin: _ To be honest I don’t think it could get worse at this point and I just need you… if you park a bit down the street I will walk to your car because their room faces the driveway. I’ll text you as soon as they’re in their room for bed okay? Just make sure you only send messages to this email right now because my mom has my phone and is going to be watching my texts… 

  
  


Tobin slid open her window when she received a message from Christen that she’d arrived. She tucked a sock in the crevice to avoid any issues opening it back up from the outside when she returned. She had never been more thankful for the setup of her house that allowed for such an easy escape. She hadn’t taken this route since she was a kid, often sneaking out onto the roof to look at the stars when she was younger and meant to be in bed asleep. The soccer player cautiously and quietly lowered herself into the grass of the front yard before quietly making her way to the end of the driveway before looking back and making sure all the lights were out in the house. 

When the coast was clear she began walking a few houses down until she saw Christen’s BMW parked on the side of the road. 

“I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to see you right now,” Tobin spoke quietly as she stepped into the vehicle and was met with Christen’s warm green eyes. 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I have written so i hope you enjoy all 10k words:) This is like the breaking point of the story that is going to bring it to a close soon! There was actually more I planned on having here but I thought that where I left it was a good place to break it off!  
Two brief warnings here:  
1\. there is an incident of a near experience with self-harm of sorts as well as alluding to a panic attack, so if that is a trigger for you just be advised that will take place the second time Tobin is at the gym in this chapter.  
2\. At the end of the chapter there is a lead up to smut however I decided to leave that actually happenings of that scene out as I just wasn't feeling it in the moment for this story however there is a chance a more descriptive scene may occur later on! 
> 
> FINALLY  
we are looking at one more chapter followed by an epilogue for this story:) Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Don’t forgot to comment kudos etc😌

“So UNC huh?” Christen asked quietly—she was sat between Tobin’s legs as the younger girl sat with her legs stretched out across the back seat of Christen’s car. 

“Yeah…” Tobin whispered. “It’s been my dream to play there since I was old enough to know what soccer was. I’ve talked with their coach a few times—Anson—he’s tried to get me to sign a letter of intent for the past couple years but my parents never let me. They say it’s because they don’t agree with colleges’ signing kids before their senior year but really it’s because they don’t want me to go at all. They want me to go pro out of highschool and that’s pretty much the only case scenario for them.”

“But when you turn eighteen… you’d be able to make that decision yourself right? They wouldn’t technically be able to stop you if you got a full ride?” 

“No—they couldn’t… I guess to them they’ve thought that if they drilled all this into me for long enough that I’d just start agreeing with them and do whatever they said. But they really don’t get it. They don’t understand that I could make that decision on my own as soon as I’m an adult. It’s like they have this spell cast over them that makes them believe they are doing what’s best for me. And I just don’t know what it will take for them to understand me at this point.” 

“Why does it sound like you aren’t sure it will happen then?” Christen asks curiously, running her hand comfortingly down the soccer players leg that has began fidgeting—something it does out of habit when she’s nervous. “UNC, I mean. If it will ultimately be up to you in the end, why do you sound so unsure about the choice?” 

“I guess I’m just still deciding if it’s worth it...to lose my parents. I hate how they are—hate how they treat me, but I still love them. And I just don’t know if it’s worth it to go my own way if that means I would lose them completely.” 

“Tobin… do you really think that would happen? Would they just cut you off?” 

“I think so...at least for a while—they’d be so angry… they just don’t see it. No matter how angry or frustrated I get they don’t understand how unhappy I am. They don’t get that my yelling at them isn’t just some teenage angst thing where I want to go against my parents or that I’m unappreciative of all they do for me. And I don’t know how to make them see it.” Tobin’s voice breaks as she tries and fails to fight back the tears in her eyes. “Why don’t understand Chris?” The younger girl sobs into Christen’s shoulder—she quickly turns around and maneuvers her way out of her spot between Tobin’s legs. “Lean forward baby, switch spots with me—let me hold you.” 

Tobin complies and scoots forward the best she can, allowing Christen to slip into the space behind her as Tobin leans back against her chest. 

“I’m so sorry, Tobin. I don’t know how they don’t see it—I wish that I could do more, that they’d listen to you when you talk to them…” 

“You’ve already done more than you know, Chris… you’ve made me so much happier just by being you—I’m sorry that we have to worry about my mom knowing now—I was so scared of this happening…” 

“Tobin, listen to me. This isn’t going to affect us okay? We’ll have to be a little more careful right now, sure, but it’s not going to change my feelings for you. We’ll make it work alright?”

“Thank you, Chris...for always being here.” 

“I’ll always be here, T.” Christen smiled softly, kissing the back of Tobin’s head as she held the younger girl close. 

“Can we talk about you for a bit?” Tobin asked with a small voice. 

“We can talk about anything you’d like babe.”

“What are your plans after graduation?” 

“Stanford,” Christen offered simply. “That’s basically the only option, I’ve dreamed of going there since I was a little girl so if I don’t get it I’ll likely take a year off and try again… I know it probably sounds silly, but that’s just the only school I’ve ever pictured myself going to.” 

“It’s not silly Chris—but you won’t have to worry about that. Your grades are perfect while captaining a school team and constantly competing and winning competitions, and while I haven’t heard about it yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that you have a wealth of volunteer hours of some kind stocked up on your resume. You will totally get in. What do you want to study? Assuming that miss dayplanner has that all figured out down to every last class already.” Tobin teased, earning a pinch on her side from Christen who just smiled as she heard Tobin’s mood pick up. 

“I plan on doing my undergrad in business with a minor in psychology and then law school after that.” 

“Oooh a lawyer...I definitely called that. I thought it would be either lawyer or doctor.” 

“You know me so well…” Christen laughed, leaning her head down to rest on Tobin’s shoulder as she soaked up this moment with her girlfriend. 

“I want to,” Tobin whispered, twisting her body slightly to place a soft kiss on the cheerleaders temple. “I want to know everything about you.” 

“I want to know everything about you too, Tobin.”

Christen tugs Tobin’s shoulders as she lays herself down across the back seat, pulling on the soccer player until she’s hovering overtop of her. She wasn’t trying to get anything out of the situation —knowing how fragile the girl in her arms was right now—she just wanted her as close as possible. 

Tobin’s head fell softly onto Christen’s chest as the cheerleader ran soft circles against the smooth skin of Tobin’s back under her sweatshirt. 

“Tell me everything.” Tobin whispered softly, pressing her cheek into the bare skin of Christen’s chest that was exposed by her loose fitting top. 

“About what Tobs?” 

“You…” 

  
  


An hour later Christen’s concentration broke as she was halfway through recounting the story of coming out to her grandma. A smirk played on her lips as her eyes cast down towards her left hip where Tobin’s hand had just descended and come to rest on the side of her butt. 

“Pause, did you just touch my butt all on your own?” Christen questioned, teasing the younger girl who just buried her face into the cheerleader’s neck—taking in her familiar scent as she squeezed her hand gently.

“What can I say,” Tobin fought the blush that played on her cheeks as her hand made its way between Christen’s butt and the seat of the car. “You have a great butt.” 

“Oh believe me… I know.” Christen winked, but before she could tease her girlfriend more, Tobin’s leg slipped between Christen’s. SHe let out a small gasp at the unexpected pressure against her center—her eyelids shut tightly as Tobin kissed her way up Christen’s jaw until their lips met in a heated kiss. Tobin quickly dipped her tongue between the cheerleader’s lips, sliding against Christen’s own. Tobin’s hand removed itself briefly from its place underneath Christen—just long enough to allow her to push it under the waistband of her girlfriend’s shorts and resume it’s hold on the soft skin of her perfect behind. 

It was obvious to Christen that the younger girl had become a lot more confident in herself and her actions in their relationship and Christen for one, was  _ not _ going to complain about it. 

  
  
  


“I wish you didn’t have to go…” Christen whispered, head tucked in the space between Tobin’s shoulder and neck, as she hugged her across the front console of her BMW. 

“Me too, Chris. I won’t be able to text you on my phone tomorrow but I’ll meet you in our usual place for lunch okay?” 

“You make it sound like I’m not invited to your morning workout?” Christen pretended to be offended but the teasing glint in her eye gave her away as Tobin just shook her head. 

“You’re always invited.” 

“Well good, I’ve missed my designated time checking you out while you were at camp last week… A re you sure you’re okay to get back inside babe?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. If I could climb up and down that thing when I was nine I can do it now.” Tobin winked as she pulled Christen in for one last kiss before stepping out of the car. 

“Text me when you’re inside?” 

“I will, and you text me when you get home.” 

“Kay…” Christen smiled adoringly at the younger girl before Tobin shut the door and made her way back around the house to get up to her room. 

Christen felt the words on the tip of her tongue as Tobin shut the door. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it in much longer but at the same time she didn’t want to freak Tobin out if she wasn’t there yet. Although it was only nearing a month and a half, Christen couldn’t help but feel like what her and Tobin had was a once in a lifetime thing. The younger girl had completely captivated her in every way, and every single day Christen learned or noticed something that made that feeling inside of her grow—and she knew it was only a matter of time before she admitted those three words. 

She thinks of the warmth of Tobin’s big brown eyes.

Thinks of the gentle stroke of her hand across her cheeks even during their most heated kisses.

She feels wanted by Tobin—feels cared for and desired in a way that Christen had previously thought could only be felt through physical touch and through sex. 

But it was in the way Tobin moved—it was in the way she watched Christen—the way she looked at her in all contexts. 

  
  


She was completely and utterly in love with Tobin Heath. 

  
  
  
  


“I didn’t connect our phones…” Cindy spoke quietly when Tobin emerged from her room the next morning

“Don’t make it sound like you ever trusted me in the first place.” Tobin spat out—she couldn’t be bothered to care anymore. She didn’t care what her mom did or said—she was miserable. She detested every second spent training, knowing that she was giving in to her parents, knowing that no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that it was for her—she knew it was for them—and it always would be until she got through to them— _ if _ she ever got through to them. 

  
  


Tobin was out the door without another word—it was overcast and colder than usual for an October morning in Carson. Tobin walks briskly as she contemplates a life in which her parents were different. In which she could enjoy her pursuit of success in soccer on her own accord. In which she could hangout with her girlfriend on the weekend and still have enough time to train and be the best she could be. 

  
  


She forgets it all as she gets down to work, pushing herself harder than ever and swearing to herself as beads of sweat trickle down her spine that she’s doing this for herself. Swears to god that this is what she wants because it’s true. She wants to play soccer. She  _ loves  _ soccer on the rare occasion that she’s able to play outside the critical eyes of her parents. She is honoured to train with some of the most renowned players and trainers in the world. And she certainly isn’t blind to the opportunities her parents have provided her with. She only wishes that her success was enough for them. Because that was just it. Tobin  _ is _ the best by many standards. It’s not a question for many people that she is the best youth player in the Nation—if her budding position on the National Team wasn’t enough to convince people, her talks with pro clubs all over the world certainly were. But no matter the growing number of accolades and attention—her parents always expected more. As if they had some otherworldly dictionary definition of what the perfect soccer player was. 

Tobin dropped the weights in her hands to the floor with a thud just as Christen made her way into the gym. 

“Morning babe!” Christen smiled cheerfully as Tobin removed her airpods—feeling the pain of the heavier weights in the simple motion of raising her hand to her ear. 

“Morning beautiful,” Tobin’s voice was strained as she attempted to catch her breath—likely pushing herself farther than she should have with no one present to spot her. 

“Sorry I’m late—I was about to leave but my dad caught me on my way out and asked if I could read over an email for him. I don’t know what that man is going to do when I leave for college.”

“Probably go just as crazy as I will.” Tobin winked, kissing Christen’s forehead before leaning down to grab a drink of water. 

“You look like you just ran a marathon, T.” Christen stopped the younger girl with a hand on her wrist as Tobin immediately moved to get back to work after a hello and a quick drink. 

“You’re not pushing yourself too hard right?” The cheerleader asked, worry evident in her calming voice. 

“No—no of course not…” Tobin lied, offering as true of a smile as she could to her girlfriend. “Big game tomorrow so I wouldn’t want to be hurting or anything. I’m doing arms mostly anyway so it’s not a big deal if I’m a bit sore.” 

“Okay…” Christen wasn’t convinced but she didn’t want to push it any further—but that wasn’t going to stop her from offering a little distraction if she needed to. 

  
  


Tobin got back to work for a little while longer before Christen decided to step in. 

“Come to work on your pull-ups?” Tobin teased, her face red and chest heaving as she set down her weights next to the bench she had been laid back on. 

“Not today,” Christen whispered —stepping towards her girlfriend. “ I think….” Christen’s eyes darkened as she stepped fully into Tobin’s space, “that you deserve a break.” The older girl finished, with a teasing smirk pulling on her lips. 

Tobin’s breath caught in her throat as the older girl straddled her legs, sitting in her lap on the small bench—arms immediately wrapping around Tobin’s neck and pulling her into a hard kiss. 

She knew someone could easily walk into the weight room at any second—but the soccer player couldn’t find it in herself to care. Her girlfriend was in her lap, making out with her in the middle of a public gym and as Tobin had very quickly learned—it was difficult to care about anything at all when Christen was kissing her —or even just close to her in any sense. 

The cheerleader’s hands found Tobin’s muscular arms—running over the smooth skin and feeling Tobin flex under her touch. Tobin’s hands moved around to Christen’s hips, gripping tightly as the older girl slowly rocked her hips.

  
  


Before either girl could register the sound —the door to the gym swung open. 

“Jesus get a room.” Josh spat out, tossing his bag onto the floor as he sat down to tie up his shoes. 

The other boy with Josh laughed as he took in the scene. 

“Jealous much Abrams?” he teased before throwing his hands up in surrender when Josh shot him a dirty look. 

Christen and Tobin couldn’t help but let out a laugh of their own as they took in the interaction.

“Something funny Heath? I wouldn’t get too excited, she might be fun now but just wait a bit and I think you’ll find that she’s not so easy to  _ please _ if you know what I mean.” 

Christen was about to speak up when Tobin surprised both of them with her own response. Without missing a beat, Tobin shrugged her shoulders, “That must have been a you problem man, I certainly don’t have any trouble with that.” 

“You don’t really expect me to believe that right?” Josh rolled his eyes in an attempt to save at least a little bit of his dignity —Tobin wasn’t having any of that though. 

“I know it’s probably hard to believe that it takes more than a small dick and a shitty personality to make a girl come so I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.” 

Christen’s jaw practically drops to the floor along with Josh and his friend who is doing his best not to break out into laughter. Of course both girls knew that Tobin was messing with Josh —but by the look on his face—he was most definitely fooled. 

  
  


“I can’t believe I just said that—” Tobin couldn’t stop herself from laughing as the two girls entered the changeroom. “I mean did you see the look on his face?! And it made it even better than his friend was there to witness it.” The younger girl doubled over in laughter as Christen joined her. 

“Okay so that was like... _ really _ hot, and even though we haven’t done that yet—there is no doubt in my mind that you’ll be able to pull an orgasm out of me  _ a lot _ faster than Josh  _ and _ without any assistance on my part so...even though you were just messing with him I wouldn’t consider that a lie personally. I mean, I’ve been more turned on making out with you in the back of my car than I ever was with him— _ god _ I can’t believe I dated that asshole…” 

Tobin was too distracted thinking about Christen’s first comment to respond. 

“Where’d you just go babe?” Christen teased, poking at the blush that had crawled up Tobin’s neck as she let her mind wander. 

“What? Nothing—I’m right here.” 

“Hm… so you weren’t thinking about me naked? That’s a shame because I was definitely thinking about you.” Christen winked and just as quickly as it happened she was skipping past Tobin and towards the door. “See you at lunch Toby!” She sang out, leaving a blushing and wide eyed Tobin alone in the change room. 

  
  
  
  


Something was going to happen. Tobin could always tell when things didn’t feel right at home because her mom would flip a switch. For just a few minutes she would partially resemble the woman that Tobin used to know. The one who would wake up early to make her chocolate chip pancakes on school days. The one who would pick her up in the middle of a school day for a mother daughter ice cream date. The one who would let her miss a soccer practice if she were feeling under the weather. 

It was foreign and uncomfortable at this point. 

To see her mom smiling as if the last five years were just a fever dream. 

  
Tobin was hyper aware that something was going to happen this morning —but for her own sanity she just let herself believe it was a coincidence her mom was awake early to make a fresh breakfast as opposed to something healthier she had prepared the night before. 

  
  


“Goodmorning dear,” Cindy spoke cheerfully, smiling at her daughter as she slowly pulled out a chair from under the kitchen island. “How was training last night, your father said something about Heather being there? I had a very long day at work yesterday so I turned in early.” 

“Yeah she was there,” Tobin mumbled, still half asleep with her eyes trained on the pot of coffee brewing on the counter next to her mom. She never liked when Tobin drank coffee—always spouting out some fact about it stunting her growth or ruining her sleep patterns or whatever else was in today’s magazine of choice. But Tobin also knew that on days like today, she wouldn’t say no. So the young girl took advantage of the uncomfortable aura of the room—”Can I have some coffee?” Tobin asked quietly, testing the waters with her mom who simply smiled and nodded. 

“Of course, dear. Big game today, I wouldn't want you crashing before the end of the first half.”

Tobin cringed internally at the cheer in her mom’s voice. What was happening today that was making her act like this?  _ I hope I never find out. _

Tobin drank her coffee quickly, as if she was worried that her mom would suddenly have a change of heart and snatch it clean out of her hands. 

  
  


“I should probably head out,” Tobin spoke a bit louder, feeling energized by the caffeine and slightly more sugar centric breakfast that she usually wasn’t allowed to indulge in. She slowly backed out of the kitchen and grabbed her bag that she had left by the front door on her way downstairs. 

“Oh dear you don’t need to go to the gym this morning,” 

_ There it is. _

“Why not mom? I go  _ every _ morning.” 

“Well, that manager from PSG reached out again yesterday and asked if you two could talk this morning so we set up a video chat. He’ll be calling around nine o’clock our time.” 

“I have school, mom. I can’t miss school on game days.” 

“Oh don’t worry about that honey, I already talked to your coach about it.” 

“And you didn’t think to maybe tell me?” Tobin’s voice began to raise as the anger flared up inside of her.  _ This is exactly the kind of thing that makes her mom act like this.  _

“Tobin it’s just one phone call.” 

“You have to stop this! God why can’t you let me make my own decisions about my career! I want to go to college mom! And no coach is going to change my mind about that!” 

“Tobin, you can’t just cancel on someone like that!” 

“I’m not cancelling anything! I’ll take the call but it’s not changing my mind! I’m going up to my room and I’ll talk to him there, I don’t want you around.”

“Tobin—”

“I’m serious mom! Go to work or stay down here, I don’t care but I’m not talking to him unless I’m alone.” Tobin threw her bag to the floor, storming up the stairs and into her bedroom. 

Tobin quickly opened her computer to send Christen a text, hoping that the older girl hadn’t already left to meet her at the gym. Despite her mom saying she wasn’t tracking her messages, the soccer player still felt uneasy about contacting Christen too much with her phone. 

  
  


_ Tobin: _ I won’t be at school this morning Chris, my mom set up this interview with a coach in France so I have to talk to him. I’m sorry I’m missing you this morning—I’ll be at school for lunch time and I’ll meet you in our regular place.

  
  
  


“Tobin! How was it?”

“It was fine. I’m going to school.” 

“What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter what he said, I don’t want to move to France when I graduate!” 

“Tobin, I don’t understand —this is your dream! We’ve talked about you playing for PSG, I thought that’s what you wanted! Isn’t that the goal?”

  
  


.

.

.

  
  


“You’ll never get it will you?” Tobin’s face fell and her voice cracked. She shook her head lightly as a sad laugh blew through her lips. 

“Never get what,Tobin?” 

She tugged on the heel of her nikes, pulling them onto her feet and forgoing the laces as she opened the front door before turning back to her mom. 

“How badly you’ve hurt me.” The door slammed, rattling the frame as Tobin took off down the street. She ran freely—having left her gym bag with a change of clothes behind—not needing it since she missed her morning workout. She felt the familiar burn work it’s way into her lungs as she broke out into a full sprint—running a lot faster than she should be for the distance she was going to cover, but not caring in the slightest. The pain felt good—the pain made her forget—or at the very least, made her unable to think about anything.

By the time Tobin reached the school it was already lunch hour. She couldn’t see Christen—not like this, with her eyes swollen and voice scratchy from yelling at her mom. She couldn’t cry about this again—what she needed was to forget—to make herself believe that this was all a dream. 

She went straight to the weight room, knowing she was the only person in the school that ever made use of it during lunch and got down to work.

She made her way straight to a rack of weights that lined an entirely mirrored wall. With a slight struggle she chose a set even heavier than the day before, knowing she had never so much as lifted one of this weight above her shoulder before, let alone her head. She briefly set the weights down, shaking out her arms to prepare herself for the burn she was expecting to feel before leaning over and curling her fingers around the tough metal and letting out a shallow breath as she lifted the weights up. 

  
  


One. 

  
  


_ “I don’t understand why you think wasting your talent on playing against mediocre college teams for four years is what’s best for you!” _

_ “Maybe it isn’t what’s best for me! Maybe you’re right and I won’t improve as much as I would going pro _ — _ but maybe I just don’t fucking care! Maybe for once in my life I just want to be normal! I want to experience college, I want to win national championships as a tar heel! I want to make my own decisions about my life!”  _

  
  


A crease formed between Tobin’s brow as she tried to concentrate, tried to force away her feelings with the pain of pushing herself further than she physically could go. 

  
  


Two. 

  
  


_ “Do you not want to be the best Tobin? Because that’s all we’ve ever wanted for you!”  _

_ “Stop saying that! Stop saying you want me to be the best! I fucking am! I am the best right now because I have no choice to be anything but that and I hate it! I couldn’t care less about being the best! All I’ve ever wanted was to play soccer but you’ve made me hate it!”  _

_ “Tobin...sweetheart you don’t mean that…”  _

_ “Yes I do! Can’t you see it? Can you not hear it in my voice? Have you listened to anything I’ve told you in the past month since I’ve started speaking my mind? I’m miserable! Going to training every day and knowing that I’m doing it to please you and dad instead of myself makes me fucking wish I’d never played!”  _

  
  


Beads of sweat built up on Tobin’s forehead as she pushed the weight above her head again—her arms began to tremble as she brought them back down.

  
  


Three.

  
  


_ “We’ve just been trying our best to give you every tool you could need to be successful…” _

_ “And you have mom! You’ve given me so many opportunities that most people _ — _ especially people my age could only dream of...but you treat me like a machine! I’m sixteen years old! No one’s body is meant to push as hard hard as you’ve pushed me! It’s a miracle I haven’t been injured yet from overworking myself! I hate the way you’ve treated me! I wake up every single day hating you for not just giving me one second to breathe since I was eleven years old and I can’t live like this anymore!” Tobin’s voice broke and she felt pressure take over her chest as she forced back tears. _

She pushed away her frustration and her anger—forcing the weights to stay above her shoulders no matter how forcefully her body was screaming at her to stop.

  
  


Four. 

  
  


Tobin let out a strangled cry as she brought the weights down after her fourth rep—feeling every muscle in her arms burning and pleading for her to quit. 

The weights remained suspended in the air—hanging above her feet as she tried to will herself to keep going. Her head dropped and her tear filled eyes painted a picture in her mind—a detailed piece of what would happen if she let the weight slip out of her calloused fingers and dropped it on top of her left foot. It was a stunning masterpiece of pain and relief—of disappointment and pride as she fought with herself internally. 

_ I could make it all stop.  _ She thought.  _ If I can’t play _ — _ can’t train _ — _ can’t run _ — _ what can they do? If I physically can’t do anything the worst they can do is force me to watch footage all day.  _ She nearly starts laughing as images run through her mind of her parents' reaction—how they’d find a way to blame her even if she claimed it was an accident. How they’d likely say that if she weren’t distracted by  _ that stupid cheerleader _ that this wouldn’t have happened. 

_ “She was there! Wasn’t she?”  _ They’d ask—but Tobin would just laugh—say “No, she wasn’t there.” She would say “You did this to me. You’re the reason this happened.” Because it was the truth. 

They were the reason she was holding a cast iron weight that was twenty-five pounds above her weight range overtop of her precious left foot.

Her pinky finger slipped away and the weight jerked in her hand before she quickly pulled it back—dropping it to the floor next to her feet. 

It felt like it had fallen onto her chest. Tobin had to fight for air as her eyes locked on the weight that she had almost—

_ Christen.  _

_ I need Christen.  _

Tobin crumbled to the floor as her breathing became ragged—she fumbled to drag her phone out of her pocket and turn it back on. The device began seizing with messages the second it awoken—most of them from Christen wondering where she was and if she was okay. 

She ignored the messages, opening the phone app and pressing on Christen’s contact with a shaky finger before bringing the phone up to rest against her cheek for support—not trusting her trembling hand. 

The phone only rang once but it felt like time had suspended for hours by the time Christen’s voice was coming through on the other end. 

**“** Tobin? What happened? Where are you baby?” 

“The gym—,” Tobin’s lips are trembling and her voice is tougher than usual as Christen immediately breaks out into a run down the hallway and towards the school gym. 

“Where in the gym baby? Are you in the weight room?” 

“Yeah I…I’m the only one here.” 

“I’m almost there babe.” Christen tried to stay calm but she was struck with panic as her girlfriend let out another sob. 

The cheerleader burst into the gym and found Tobin sitting on the ground next to a bench with her knees tucked into her chest and her phone still tightly clutched in her left hand and pressed against her tear stained cheek. Her entire body was shaking and Christen could hear her teeth clattering together as she quickly approached the younger girl. 

It was like she couldn’t even see Christen. 

Tobin’s head raised slightly when the cheerleader kneeled in front of her on the floor. But her brown eyes were glassy and it was as if she was staring right through the other girl.

“Tobin? Sweetheart what happened? Are you hurt?” 

Christen carefully and slowly slipped Tobin’s phone out of her hand and ended the call between them. She took Tobin’s hand and immediately noticed how sweaty her palms were on top of the uncontrollable shaking. 

“I’m here, baby. I’ve got you okay? Can you take some deep breaths for me Tobin?”

The sporadic rise and fall of Tobin’s chest continued as she attempted to follow Christen’s instructions, small sobs escaping as she tried her best to hold a deep breath. 

  
  


“Good, Tobin—you’re doing so good baby, just keep doing that okay? It will get easier I promise.” 

“Chris—.” The soccer player whispered through gritted teeth. Her head was thrown back against the wall and her bottom lip quivered as she tried to fight the tears threatening to form again. 

“Shh… Tobin, it's okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere okay? Just take your time, I’ll still be here. I’ve got you.”

  
  


“I was gonna hurt myself…” Tobin whispered, looking up at Christen with shameful eyes. She clutched onto the older girl's arm harder than before. “I was going to drop a weight on my foot so that I couldn’t play—I just wanted it to stop Chris. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t play for them. They’ve made me hate my favourite thing in the world. I was gonna do it but I couldn’t because I thought about you...I didn’t want to hurt you or disappoint you.”

“Oh Tobin… baby you could never disappoint me, okay? The only thing that hurts me is seeing you hurt like this, but I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

Tobin’s breathing finally began to even out as she met Christen’s eyes for the first time since she’d arrived. “Chris I … I’m sorry—you’re the only one I wanted, you’re the only one who can make me feel better, I… I love you.” Tobin breathed out those last three words and heard a small gasp escape the older girl's lips as she took them in. 

“Tobin...baby, I love you too.” 

“Really?” Tobin’s eyes widened slightly, surprised to hear her own words returned by the cheerleader but loving the fact that she did.

“Yes, really. I’ve been wanting to tell you but I didn’t want to freak you out by saying it too soon.” Christen blushed, reaching out and brushes some stray baby hairs away from Tobin’s forehead. “WIll you come with me? Let’s get you to the changeroom and cleaned up okay love? Are you okay to stand up?” 

Tobin nodded slowly, accepting the soft hand offered to her and holding on tightly as Christen helped her to her feet. 

  
  


Tobin knew it wouldn’t be this simple. 

She knew that even though the moment had been patched up that this would come back around. Christen wouldn’t simply forget the fact that her girlfriend had nearly injured herself on purpose...she only wished that there was some way they could leave this all behind. That she wouldn’t have to face whatever would come next. 

  
  
  
  


**“** Sooo,” Alex raised her eyebrows, giving Christen a playful nudge as they took a seat on the edge of the stands. “How are things going with Tobin? I swear I have never seen you smile so much as I have since you two got together.” 

Christen immediately blushed as she thought about the soccer player. “Things are so good Al. She’s honestly so sweet and not to be dramatic but I never thought I could be this happy with someone, especially in highschool.” 

“I’m so happy for you C, she seems like such a sweetheart, it’s so good to see you with someone who actually appreciates you.” 

“She’s amazing Al...I know it’s still so soon but—I...I’m in love with her…” 

“Chris!! That’s so amazing! And who cares how long it’s been? When you know you know right?”

“Yeah—” Christen chewed her bottom lip as she found Tobin on the field. “I guess you’re right.”

“Have you told her? DId she say it back?” The cheerleader prodded, more than pleased to be getting some girl talk out of her busy friend. 

“Yeah um… she actually told me first.”

“No way! Omg, Chris this is huge. You two are like—the perfect couple this is amazing.Okay so now for the dirty details.... Have you two…” Alex wiggled her eyebrows again causing a deep blush to crawl up Christen’s cheeks again. 

“No, not yet… I think we’re close to that though if I’m being honest. She’s just— _ so _ good looking it’s kind of hard not to just rip her clothes off everytime I see her ya know? I’ve never felt like this before—like even when we’re just kissing it’s like the best feeling in the world.”

“Okay that was fucking adorable so how come your voice got all sad there at the end?” 

Christen looked around her and Alex to make sure no one was sitting close enough to listen in. But as she turned back to her friend she missed as Two people approached the side of the stands, leaning against them as they looked out onto the field. 

“You can’t tell anyone this okay? It’s really serious.”

“Of course C… you can trust me, I promise.” 

“Okay so… Tobin’s parents are—they’re really intense about her training...like intense doesn’t even really describe it to be honest, it’s insane how much they make her do and she isn't’ allowed to do anything outside of soccer. They found out about me last week and completely lost it on her and since then they’ve been even more on her case and...Tobin kind of broke down at lunch today when she was in the gym. She called me and I could barely understand her because she was crying so hard… when I got there she told me that she had wanted to hurt herself… she was going to drop a weight on her foot so that she couldn’t play because she’s so miserable.” Christen fought back tears as she explained everything to Alex. “I just don’t know what to do Al… I care about her so much and it literally kills me to see her hurting like this but no matter what she says her parents never listen… I’m so scared that something like this will happen again and she won’t stop herself.” 

“Chris… shit that is so messed up… is there someone she can tell about this? Like that’s not okay, she’s a child—what they’re doing is literally abuse.” 

“I know… I didn’t want to overwhelm her earlier when she was panicking but I’m going to try and talk to her tonight. My dad knows some people that I think deal with this kind of thing. I’d obviously never tell an adult unless she agreed but I want her to know that it’s an option for her.”

The two girls are broken out of their conversation when a quiet sob is heard next to them. Christen’s head whips around and her eyes go wide as she is met with a familiar pair of honey brown eyes. She would know instantly who the woman was despite never seeing her from this close.

The cheerleader’s jaw was tight as the woman stepped closer. 

“Mrs. Heath…” Christen spoke quietly, her green eyes piercing into the older woman’s whose eyes were rimmed with red and welled up with tears. 

“We should go Chris… the teams are almost done warming up so we’ve got to get started.” Alex spoke gently, taking Christen’s hand and stepping down from the bleachers. 

“Christen?”

The cheerleader’s head turned back towards Tobin’s mom whose eyes were pleading with her. 

“Can we just—can I have a minute of your time…” 

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Christen’s voice was final as she turned again and caught up with Alex—leaving Tobin’s mom behind. 

  
  


Christen had tried to convince Tobin not to play in the game today—but the younger girl had convinced her that playing was the only way to clear her mind—that it would be better for her in the long run if she played, at least, better for her ability to forget what she was feeling. 

It turned out to be one of her best games of the season so far. 

She pointed to Christen on the sidelines after scoring a goal that would require a slow motion replay in order to track the ball that had nearly taken off a hand of the opposing goalkeeper. It lit a fire within her—knowing that her mother was there—knowing that they witnessed the action and surely had no doubt about who she was pointing to. 

She had been pushed to her breaking point—she didn’t care what they did or said anymore—they couldn’t hurt her anymore because there was nothing else they could do that wouldn’t result in Tobin admitting everything to someone who could actually do something about her situation. It was simply out of her parents hands. 

  
  


After the game, Tobin was quick to find Christen—she was on a high from the intoxicating mixture of the match she had nearly single handedly won for her team, and the feeling of knowing that her mom was watching as she pulled Christen into a kiss on the side of the field brought her even higher. It was nothing crazy—she didn’t intend to attract a crowd, simply send a message to someone that she wasn’t going to sit idle by anymore as they ran her into the ground. 

Tobin was beaming as she walked hand in hand with Christen back across the pitch towards the school. The two girls stopped in their tracks when Tobin spotted her mother off to the side—it was clear she had been crying, although having not been witness to the events before the game, Tobin had no idea as to why. 

“Tobin… sweetheart can we—”

“No.” Tobin shook her head furiously, her jaw was set and Christen had never seen the other girl look so angry before as her girlfriend kept her composure. 

“I’m not talking to you. I can’t. I’m not coming home tonight. I’m going with Christen and if you try and stop me I will tell the whole fucking world about everything. I’ll be home tomorrow.” Tobin stepped passed her mom the second she finished speaking, not allowing the woman to make any kind of response—Christen followed close behind, taking Tobin’s outstretched hand again as they walked away together towards the entrance to the school. Tobin’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest but she knew this was what she needed. She needed  _ Christen,  _ and she needed space from her mom before she could talk to her again. 

Christen left Tobin to change and meet with her team in the locker room, waiting out in the hallway for her girlfriend’s return and thinking about how much she should tell Tobin about her overheard conversation with Alex. Would Tobin be upset that she had told Alex? How much had Cindy even heard? 

Tobin was the last player to exit the locker room, finding Christen seated cross-legged on a bench in the hallway outside. 

A smile played on Tobin’s lips as she admired her girlfriend who had yet to take notice of her presence. She was chewing on her bottom lip as she scrolled mindlessly through her phone—a few stray curls had escaped the bun atop her head and were hanging freely over her face. 

“Hey beautiful,” Tobin spoke calmly, alerting the cheerleader to her presence as she stepped towards Christen and held out her hand to help her up. 

“Hey, yourself.” Christen smiled, kissing Tobin’s freshly showered cheek and curling her arm around the younger girl’s as they walked together down the hallway between the rows of lockers. 

“Is it okay that I come home with you? I realized when I was in there that I never actually asked so it’s okay if I can’t.” 

“Of course you can baby—my parents are actually out of town until Sunday so I would more than appreciate your company, and they don’t mind at all.” 

“Cool.” Tobin smiled shyly—feeling nerves coat her skin at the prospect of not only spending a night with Christen for the first time, but also that they would be completely alone.

  
  


The drive was fairly quiet—Christen let Tobin drive—her left hand holding the top of the steering wheel loosely and her right hand with a light grip on Christen’s thigh. Christen had thought it would be best to bring up the topic of Tobin’s mom after they had stopped driving and were safe at her house.

Tobin grabbed her own as well as Christen’s bag from the backseat of the car before jogging around to open the passenger side door for Christen as well. 

“You’re so sweet, Tobs.”

“You deserve it, babe.” Tobin smiled sweetly in response, following behind Christen as she unlocked the front door of her family’s home. Once they were inside and Christen had locked the door, she took both of the bags from Tobin’s hands—setting them on the ground next to the front door and wrapping her arms around Tobin’s shoulders. Her fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the base of her girlfriend’s neck as they spent a moment simply and wordlessly gazing into each other’s eyes before she pulled Tobin forward to connect their lips in a slow kiss. The kiss quickly turned into Tobin being pressed up against the front door with Christen’s leg slipping between her thighs as she deepened the kiss momentarily before pulling back with a teasing nip to Tobin’s bottom lip. “I love you so much, Tobin.” Christen breathed out, shaking her head lightly as she ran her hands from Tobin’s neck and down her muscular arms—feeling the firm muscles contract even from under her long sleeved shirt. 

“I love you too, Chris.” Tobin’s cheeks were flushed as she pressed a kiss to Christen’s neck, smiling into the soft skin and familiar smell. 

“Do you want to go out back?” Christen asked quietly, “The sun should be setting soon.”

“That sounds perfect.” 

“Good,” Christen kissed Tobin once more before stepping away, “I’m gonna run upstairs and change out of my uniform real quick, did you want to grab a drink from the fridge and I’ll meet you out there?” 

“Okay, can I grab you one?” 

“Just water, please—I’ll be right back.” Christen turned on her heels and began her ascent up the stairs when Tobin called out to her.

“Chris?” 

“Yeah?” The cheerleader peered down the stairs to where Tobin was still standing with her hands in her pockets looking up at the older girl like she was holding her entire world together—and maybe she was. 

“I love you.” Tobin smiled cheekily as her words hit her girlfriend’s ears. 

Christen bit down on her bottom lip, her nose scrunching in a gleeful smile as she shook her head. “I love you, Tobin.” 

  
  


Less than five minutes later, Christen was sliding open the glass door that connected the kitchen to the deck that wrapped around the back of the home. 

Tobin’s mouth went dry as she took in Christen’s appearance. She had thrown on an oversized long sleeved us soccer shirt that Tobin had given her. If she had anything on underneath, it was too short to be seen as the shirt fell to just about the middle of her thigh. She had bunched the red cotton material up around her elbows and the large size made the stretched out neckline nearly fall over her right shoulder to the point where Tobin could see the thin strap of Christen’s favourite pink lace bralette secured over her smooth skin. Tobin didn’t want to get ahead of herself—she didn’t know where tonight would go but she knew one thing for sure. She could hardly keep her composure while the majority of Christen’s body was covered—and she knew that she was in for a whole new world of feelings whenever she saw Christen undressed for the first time. 

The older girl blushed as Tobin looked over her body before realizing she had been staring. Christen joined her girlfriend on the porch swing, grabbing a blanket that was draped across it to throw over Tobin and herself as she curled into Tobin’s side. 

“Tobs?” 

“Hm?” 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Christen’s voice was nervous as she sat up so she was able to see into Tobin’s concerned eyes. 

“What is it?” Tobin’s heart started racing as she thought of a million possibilities for what her girlfriend was about to tell her. 

“Something happened before the game today—I… I was talking to Alex in the stands and she was asking me about you and then...well, I kind of told her a little bit about your parents and what happened today because she could tell something was bothering me and I promise she won’t tell anyone else but I’m sorry that I told someone about it without talking to you first, I know that was wrong and I—”

“Chris,” Tobin cut her rambling girlfriend off as she could feel the anxiety radiating from Christen’s skin as she spoke quickly. “I’m not mad at you. At all, I promise. I trust you to know when you can trust someone with something and if you believe Alex will keep that information to herself then that’s fine. I promise I’m not upset—it affected you too and you should be able to talk to someone about that.” 

Christen’s eyes were wide and glossy as she processed Tobin’s words, thankful she had been so understanding but knowing there was one piece of the story she had yet to share. “There’s one more thing...um… at some point when we were talking, your mom showed up for the game...I don’t know how much she heard, but based on her reaction I’m assuming that she heard me tell Alex about what went down today. She tried to stop me and talk to me when we got up to leave but I obviously had to go and it didn’t feel right to talk to her without you there…”

“So that’s why she was crying after the game today…” Tobin put the pieces together as she looked out at the setting sun—watching the colours melt together and fade into the night as she pulled Christen closer to her body. “Thank you for telling me, Chris. And thank you just for being you—and for everything you did for me today. I know that I probably scared you earlier in the gym and I just want to thank you for being so patient with me, and helping me through that. I know it’s something we’ll probably have to talk about again and that I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen—but more than anything I just appreciate you being here, letting me be  _ here.”  _

“Tobin, I would do anything for you. I love you more than I thought I could love someone after such a short time, but you’ve taught me that time is irrelevant when it comes to this. You mean so much to me and I will do anything to keep you safe and happy. Whatever happens with your parents I will always be in your corner.” 

“Where did you come from?” Tobin asks quietly, running her fingers through Christen’s thick curls before pulling her up to be seated in her lap. Christen quickly repositions herself to put her legs on either side of Tobin’s hips as Tobin captures her lips in a kiss that quickly turns heated. It’s only when Tobin’s hands run down Christen’s back and latch onto her hips where the fabric of her shirt had risen up that she realizes Christen in fact hadn’t been wearing any shorts. Instead, the pads of Tobin’s fingers were met with the lacy fabric of Christen’s underwear that presumably matched the small bralette under her shirt. Tobin sighs at the feeling, blood rushing to her cheeks as her hands round Christen’s hips to squeeze her butt lightly and aid the older girl as she rocks her hips into Tobin. 

Christen knows that she’s ready—she can feel it in her heart and the pit of her stomach as Tobin’s lips latch onto her neck. She knows that she’s ready to take things further with Tobin if the younger girl is there as well. She’s not expecting anything though—more than content to spend the night doing no more than this if that’s what Tobin wants. She’s caught off guard when Tobin ease’s up on her neck to mumble into her skin, “Do you want to go up to your room?” The words are quiet and a little unsure—Christen is certain that the younger girl’s nerves have something to do with her avoiding looking into Christen’s eyes as she speaks the words into her skin. 

Christen slowly and gently lifts Tobin’s chin with her index finger, allowing their eyes to meet as she confidently nods her head before kissing Tobin deeply, one more time. She’s about to rise to her feet when Tobin stands on her own with her hands under Christen’s thighs—bringing the cheerleader up with her in her arms. 

The action takes Christen’s breath away as Tobin whispers for her to hold on tight as she steps towards the door of the balcony. Her legs wrap tightly around Tobin’s strong body before she is set down so that Tobin can safely pull open the large glass door. 

The two girls quickly make their way upstairs—with Tobin being tugged behind Christen, hand in hand.

Nerves and excitement coated the air as they stepped inside Christen’s room shutting the door behind them and closing themselves off to the world as time came to a standstill around them. 

Christen is the first to move—taking Tobin’s hand again and approaching her bed. Tobin watched with wide eyes as Christen slowly but surely made her way onto the bed—she turned to face Tobin from her place on her knees, sitting back on her heels as she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes for any sort of hesitation. When she was met with none, Christen peered into Tobin’s soft brown eyes as she slowly peeled the large shirt off her body—leaving herself covered only by her sheer bra and underwear. 

Tobin can feel her brain short circuiting as her eyes rake over Christen’s perfect body. A thousand thoughts race through her mind as the weight of the moment really settles on her and she comes to the realization that she has no idea where to go from here—only that she wants to go  _ somewhere _ .

Christen senses the growing panic, reaching out and placing her hands on Tobin’s shoulders—rubbing the tension out from her muscles and bringing the soccer player closer until her knees were flush against the side of the bed. 

“I’m nervous too, you know.” Christen whispered calmly, leaning up on her knees again so that she is face to face with Tobin. The admission surprises Tobin, who assumed that she was the only one mildly freaking out. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah… I know that I’ve had sex before but—it never meant as much as this does to me—being here with you. And I’m not expecting anything from you, and I won’t be upset if we don’t, but I want you to know that you aren’t the only one feeling those nerves. And I mean—I’ve also never done it with a girl before so technically we’re on even playing field in terms of that experience.” 

Tobin was surprised at Christen’s words but they did more than enough to help ease her nerves. Christen quickly sensed the shift in Tobin’s mind as Tobin reached behind her own neck to pull her shirt over her head—watching intently as Christen’s eyes fell to her abs at the same time her hands reached out to run over the hard muscles. 

  
  


Things seemed to move in slow motion after that—Christen had tugged on Tobin’s hips, urging the other girl onto the bed as she crawled back into the centre—laying down and motioning for Tobin to come on top of her. 

“Tobin,” Christen looked up into Tobin’s eyes that were filled with a million emotions as both girls were now entirely stripped down to their underwear. “are you sure? I—I want this with you too, I really do but I just want to make sure that you’re really ready and it’s not—a lot happened today and I just want to make sure you really want this right now.”

“Chris—I swear I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t mean it. You mean so much to me and I wouldn’t use you as some sort of distraction for my pain. Yes, I’m hurting. Yes, I am confused and angry about my parents and everything going on but  _ you _ are seperate from that. I am here with you and you are the only thing I’m thinking about right now, I promise. I want you…”

That was all the assurance Christen needed to flip them over—settling herself on top of Tobin with a leg on either side of her, looking down at her girlfriend with lust filled eyes and ready to take this step with her. 

“I love you, Tobin…” Christen kissed the words into Tobin’s skin as she worked her way down the athlete’s body—”god, you’re so hot…” Christen’s voice was raspier than usual as she reached Tobin’s black boxer briefs. After having given adequate attention to both of her breasts once Tobin’s Nike sports bra had been removed, Christen curled her fingers under the fabric and looked up to Tobin for a final reassurance that she was okay. She was met with a rushed nod before tugging at the fabric and looking up at her girlfriend through her lashes from her position between Tobin’s legs. 

  
  
  


Heavenly—is the only word that could accurately describe the way Tobin felt when she woke up the next morning. Christen’s naked body was draped almost entirely overtop of her own—holding on for dear life even in her sleep. Tobin stretched out her legs the best she could in her current position—not caring at all that she was weighed down by the angel on top of her. 

The events of the night before played over in her mind and a warm feeling pooled in Tobin’s stomach at the same time a blush creeped up her neck. 

It had been nothing short of perfect. 

Sure there were a few fumbling moments as both girls learned each other’s bodies for the first time—but as the night went on it seemed as though they had done this a thousand times—that they were made to do it with each other. 

Tobin had never felt so alive and at peace with herself. 

Christen had never felt so cherished.

And both girls knew this was only the beginning for them. 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI. So this is it... there will be an epilogue following this chapter but unfortunately this is where this story ends for the most part. For the epilogue I am planning like a time lapsed journey of the next few years of their life where I will highlight any major points:) Thank you guys so much for following this story:') I will be honest I'm not 100% satisfied with this chapter but I struggled a bit with formatting and how to end knowing I wanted this to be the last chapter.   
I hope you enjoy anyway and thank you for reading!

Tobin had been awake for nearly twenty minutes before Christen began to stir on top of her. 

The younger girl didn’t mind—had spent the time admiring every curve of Christen’s body that she could see from this angle. Had mapped out every freckle across the spanse of her back twice—memorizing the pattern and admiring every mark, curve, and scar that was within sight. 

“Morning beautiful,” Tobin whispered, threading her fingers through Christen’s wild curls as the cheerleader clung tighter to her body—pressing her lips into Tobin’s chest, directly between her breasts where her head had stayed for nearly the entire night. 

“You’re so comfy…” Christen mumbled, climbing further on top of Tobin so that every part of her was in contact with the younger girl. “I’m never moving…” 

“Never hm?” Tobin asked teasingly, running her hands smoothly down Christen’s toned back, all the way down to her hips. 

“Nope.” Christen popped the ‘p’ and emphasized her point by further burying her face into the crook of Tobin’s neck—breathing in the leftover scent of her vanilla body wash from her post-game shower mixed with an unmistakable unique scent of her own. 

“Is that a challenge?” 

“No.” The older girl pouted—uninterested in anything that involved her leaving her current position on top of her very warm and very naked girlfriend. 

“So nothing at all would make you want to move right now?” Tobin challenged, voice slightly deeper than usual as Christen’s eyes cracked open ever so slightly for the first time. 

“No…” She repeated, as a small smile took purchase on her plush lips that she attempted to hide from Tobin who was sporting a smirk of her own. 

“Interesting…” Tobin rasped, curling her left arm firmly around Christen’s waist and effortlessly leaning up to flip their positions. 

“Tobyyyy!” Christen squealed playfully, hooking her ankles around Tobin’s back as the younger girl hovered over top of her. 

“Did you want to go back to where you were?” Tobin asked quietly, looking up at Christen as she began kissing down her neck towards her chest, following the pattern of marks she had left the night before—reigniting the flame in every bruise as she licked and bit at Christen’s perfect caramel skin. 

A sigh left Christen’s parted lips as she tried and failed to hold her resolve. “I think I’m okay right here…” She responded—eyes clenched shut as she pressed down on Tobin’s shoulders in an attempt to fast track the process. 

Tobin paid the action no mind—simply humming in response to Christen’s change of heart as she methodically kissed every inch of free skin she could get her mouth on—memorizing each and every angel, curve, and sensitive spot on Christen’s skin. 

“Tobin,” The cheerleader groaned—shoving down harder, although she was no match for Tobin’s strength, easily resisting the extra weight on her shoulders as she peered into Christen’s darkened green eyes. 

“Yes, my love?” 

“Touch me.” Christen nearly demanded, throwing her head back when Tobin’s fingers suddenly came up and pinched one of her nipples lightly. 

“I am touching you,” Tobin countered, a playful smile fully present on her lips as she dipped her head down, slowly and meticulously dragging her tongue over her girlfriend’s other hardened nipple. 

“Fuck—Tobin you know what I mean— _ oh!”  _

Christen bit down on her lip as Tobin’s thigh pressed between her legs.

  
  


To say Christen was thrilled by Tobin’s newfound confidence in their physical relationship was an understatement. 

As last night had progressed—she watched and felt the younger girl open up to her and allow herself to act upon her desire and take from Christen in a way she had been too nervous to do before that moment.

Hearing Christen’s spoken reactions was one thing—but watching the effects play out on her face as she worked her up was another thing entirely. 

Tobin had always been a visual learner—had always perceived things more clearly with her eyes than with words. 

The mesmerizing way Christen’s eyes squeezed shut and her head tilted back when she ran a finger through her folds.

_ “Tobin _ — _ fuck yes, right there…”  _

The way her back arched off the bed when she inserted two fingers, curling them inside her. 

_ “Mm, god you feel so good T.”  _

The way her nails dug into the skin on Tobin’s back as the younger girl kissed her way down her body—paying perfect attention at every stop. 

Tobin built up a painfully slow rhythm with her fingers as she travelled south—soaking up every moan and sigh of pleasure from her girlfriend as she found her way to exactly where Christen was begging for her to be. 

“Baby—please.” Christen’s eyes and lips pleaded with the younger girl as her limits were tested. 

The way her hand would fist in Tobin’s smooth hair as she looked up at Christen from her place between her legs. 

Tobin’s mouth met her core as more beautiful sounds fell from Christen’s lips. She pulled away as fast as she had arrived—meeting Christen’s begging eyes again as she licked her lips and gently lifted Christen’s left leg over her shoulder. “I love doing this to you—” Tobin whispered, “you taste so good baby.” Her eyes sparkled in the morning light as she leaned back in and finally gave in to Christen’s desires. 

Tobin’s hands gripped at Christen’s strong thighs as she worked over her with her tongue—building her up faster and faster as Christen pressed herself against her face—having already been so close to her release when the younger girl had finally given in. 

The best part—was watching and feeling the way her mouth fell open and she let out a strangled moan as her release flooded through her body—the way she went tight around Tobin’s fingers that continued their motions until Christen came down from her high and tugged on her shoulders until they met face to face again. 

Christen crashed her lips into Tobin’s the second she laid beside her—sighing into the kiss as she tasted herself on her girlfriend’s lips.

“You’re so fucking good at that.” She moaned as she crawled on top of Tobin’s body once again, straddling her hips and holding herself steady with her palms on Tobin’s abs. 

“Come shower with me and then I’ll make us breakfast?” Christen’s voice was sweet but Tobin could see by the look in her eyes that the term “shower” was a loose definition of what she was looking for.

  
  
  


A few hours later they were showered and fed as Tobin decided it was time for her to go home and face her parents. 

The two girls got into Christen’s car and drove towards the younger girls house hand in hand, accepting the comfortable silence between them as Tobin thought to herself about what she was about to do. 

“Please text me if you need anything okay?” Christen spoke seriously, lifting Tobin’s chin to meet her eyes after she had put the car in park outside Tobin’s house. 

“I will, Chris. I promise. And text me when you get home safe.” 

“Always.” Christen pulled the younger girl into one last kiss before Tobin stepped out of the car.

  
  


She honestly wasn’t sure what to expect when she stepped inside. While her mom had seemed torn up yesterday and had let her leave without a fight—Tobin had gotten used to not being overly optimistic by any positive signs. She felt uneasy at the prospect of whatever was about to happen when she stepped inside her home. 

She knew one thing for sure though. 

She wasn’t going to let things stay how they had been. 

  
  


Tobin pressed down on the brass handle of her family’s front door. Slowly pressing open the door and stepping through the frame with her jaw set and head held high. 

_ Don’t let them walk all over you. No matter what they say _ — _ don’t let them put you in the wrong for what happened.  _

“Tobin?” Her mom’s voice was rushed and surprised as she hurried towards the entrance of the house from where she had been in the kitchen. 

“Hi mom,” Tobin’s voice was quiet as she took in her mom’s appearance. It looked like she hadn’t slept more than an hour the night before—eyes still rimmed red from what could only have been hours spent crying. 

“I—I have so much to say honey—but first I just—

**“** No. I’m talking first.” Tobin interrupted, voice steady as she willed her emotions to stay in check. “I need to go first or else I’ll never say what I really need to. 

Cindy nodded her head slowly, sitting down on the edge of the couch to steady herself. 

  
  


“I almost broke my foot yesterday,” Tobin began suddenly. 

Tobin’s eyes scanned her mom’s—taking in the guilt and sadness that rushed over her. She noted the lack of surprise—knowing that she had heard this story from Christen yesterday. 

“On purpose… I almost dropped a fifty pound weight on top of my foot in the gym so that I couldn’t play anymore. I was so upset about my life and about you guys that I nearly put myself out for the entire season the year before the World Cup that I have a chance of going to just to make it all stop. And do you know why I didn’t? It’s not because of my love for soccer, or because I thought I’d disappoint you. I didn’t go through with it because of Christen. Because when I was holding that weight above my foot the only other thing I could think of was disappointing her or hurting her by hurting myself. Because I’m in love with her and because she is the only person I can trust and who has made me feel like they honestly care about me.” 

Tobin had planned on stopping there but there was so much more to be said. And if she didn’t say it now, when would she? 

**“** It’s not okay for an eleven year old kid to sign their life away to a sport. I love soccer and it is what I want to do with my life despite what you and dad have come to believe about me. I want to succeed and I want to play professionally…and just because I don’t care about being the first teenager to go pro, or about being “the best player in the world” that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my future...but ever since that first national team camp I have slowly built up a resentment towards it because it’s taken everything else away from me. It took away my chance at living a normal life because I have never been allowed to do anything else. I had no friends until this year because I was never allowed to do anything with anyone. I had to sneak around to see the only person I’ve ever liked all for what? I don’t give a shit about being the best. I just wanted to play soccer… that’s all I ever wanted.”

  
  


“Tobin, dear… there are no words I could come up with right now that will fix this today. I know that what your father and I have done over the last few years is inexcusable. I know that there is no good explanation for it and that I fell into some crazed version of myself that allowed me to believe I was doing what was best for you. And I think that maybe at first I was—but it way too quickly got out of hand and when that happened I was already too far gone to even notice the way it was affecting you. I haven’t been a mother to you… and I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I have. But I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life showing you that is not who I am and that I am here for you.”

“Where is dad, by the way?” Tobin asked suddenly—realizing that her father’s car had been gone when she arrived home. 

“Oh… um—I’m assuming he’s at work but… I’m not sure if he’ll be coming back tonight.” Cindy’s voice was small as she looked down to her feet—a new set of tears building behind her eyes.

“What do you mean he’s not coming back?” Tobin hadn’t been expecting that. Her dad had never been very vocal about anything but he had always stood idly by while her mom controlled everything.

“Well… last night we were talking—or, he was talking, I was crying and I was saying how terrible I felt for making you feel like you weren’t allowed to feel anything outside of soccer—for preventing you from making connections with people and having to hide your first relationship with us and… well—as it turns out, when you told your father and I you were gay… I guess he just assumed it was a phase and something that you wouldn’t actually ever act on… so when I said that I wanted to talk to Christen and meet her for real he… he got really upset that I would encourage that relationship and said he didn’t want to be a part of that. He slept on the couch and was gone before I woke up this morning.”

“What… I—I don’t understand.... Dad’s gone?” 

“I don’t know for sure sweetheart, but...I don’t know. He seemed pretty final about his feelings on the matter. I’m sorry Tobin—that’s the last thing you need to be worrying about right now after everything… I’m sorry…” 

“You don’t feel the same?” Tobin asked stoically. 

“No, dear. Of course not. I love you and no matter the terrible things I’ve put you through nothing could change that. I don’t care who you love and—Christen, she seems like a wonderful girl.” 

_ Seems.  _

Tobin cringes internally as she listens to her mom’s words. 

Christen shouldn’t  _ seem _ to be anything. She should just be. Her mom should just  _ know _ how Christen is because it never should have been this way. 

But she doesn’t know how incredible Christen is and Tobin can’t simply forget why—no matter how bad her mom feels—she can’t just let it go. And she won’t. 

“She is.” Tobin states—her head still held high no matter how much the world is spinning around her right now. No matter how confused and angry and tired she is she refuses to lower her guard when she has something and someone so special to protect and to love. When she has herself to care about for once. 

“I’d love to meet her, Tobin…officially.” Cindy’s voice is small and unsure as she meets Tobin’s eyes in a sad but hopeful gaze. 

“Mom...I really appreciate you acknowledging everything and being willing to do that… and I truly don’t care how it happened or why it happened—all that matters to me right now is that it is happening… but I need you to understand… and I hope that you can respect that this is something that has been hurting me for a really long time, and that I’ve been battling with for years now on my own—and because of that I think it’s going to take me a little bit of time before I’m ready to take those steps and really work towards fixing the things that have been broken. I want you to meet Christe, and I want you to be a part of all the aspects of my life, but I hope you can understand why that’s going to be kind of hard for me for a little while.”

“I understand, Tobin… I do respect your feelings and I just want you to know that whenever you’re ready for that, I will be here.” 

“Thank you, mom. I believe you. I really do, and you have to know that even though it’s going to take some time to really fix everything, that I do believe what you’re saying and I trust your intentions.

  
  
  


“I’m so proud of you baby. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“It wasn’t but I’m glad I went through with it. I couldn’t keep going how it was. I couldn’t have done it without you Chris… I don’t think I ever would have said all that I did to her without you being here for me. You’ve really changed my life for the better Chris.” Tobin’s eyes welled up with tears as she leaned into her girlfriend’s shoulder—eyes trained on the clear skies above them as they sit on the older girl’s balcony. Tobin had driven back to Christen’s after talking to her mom, promising to return for dinner. While the soccer player craved being in Christen’s company right now more than ever, she couldn’t help but feel bad for her mom knowing that her father had likely just walked out on the both of them.” 

“I’ll always be here for you, Tobin. I really can’t explain how quickly you’ve become such an important person in my life but I really love you so much. You mean the world to me and I will do everything I can to help you and keep you safe and happy.” 

Tobin’s head shook lightly, baby hairs falling stray from her bun and blowing in the gentle breeze of the late afternoon. She really couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the last couple months—but in the last 24 hours as well. “I’m so lucky you came into my life. Even though I was scared in the beginning and didn’t really know what I was doing—I still prayed to god hoping I’d get to keep you in my life. I never imagined it could be like this though. You make me feel things that I never even knew existed—that I never  _ let _ myself believe in. I’m so, so in love with you too, Christen. And I can’t tell you how happy I am not to have to hide you from anyone anymore. I can finally do all the things I’ve wanted to—even small things like walking down the street holding your hand and not having to be scared about someone seeing that would tell my parents.” 

“So your mom is really okay with us seeing each other?” Christen asked hopefully, repositioning herself to be sitting in Tobin’s lap with her legs across the porch swing. 

“She is. She wants to meet you but I told her I needed some time for things to kind of settle down first and like really accept that things are changing. I don’t want to rush into anything and I don’t want to put you in any bad situations. I’d also like to know what’s going on with my dad for sure before bringing you over.” 

Christen leaned in then, her lips just barely grazing Tobin’s before they heard a car pull into the home’s garage. 

“That must be my parent’s and Tyler.” Tobin hummed and pulled the older girl into one more kiss before the two girls stood up and made their way inside. 

“Hi girls!” Stacy smiled wide as the remaining Press family members filed into the house. 

“I see the house is still standing after a weekend away, that must mean mo didn’t attempt to cook anything.” Cody jokingly inspected around the kitchen for damages.

“Dad! I’ll have you know I cooked a great breakfast this morning and not a single fire alarm went off, so—” 

“Should I be worried next time she offers to cook?” Tobin questioned jokingly, her arm still wrapped securely around Christen’s waist as the family gathered in the living room. 

“I knew I liked you, kid.” Cody smiled as he took a seat in his reclining chair. 

“You joined us for dinner, Tobin? We picked up chinese on the way in.” 

“I’d love to but I actually promised my mom I’d be home for dinner so I should be heading out.” 

“That your parent’s vehicle out front?” Christen’s dad asked, the surprise evident in his voice, knowing all too well about the state of Tobin’s family relationship. 

“Yeah, she let me borrow it today.” Tobin smiled softly, conveying with her eyes that something had changed while the Press family had been out of town.

“Well alright, more food for me! Come back anytime, kid.” 

“Thank you, Cody.” Tobin smiled kindly as she and Christen made their way to the front entrance, stepping outside together to say their goodbye’s. 

“Text me when you’re home safe okay?” 

“Always, Chris. I love you.” 

“I love you too, T.” Christen pulled the shorter girl into a quick kiss—Tobin had other plans though as her hands gripped onto Christen’s waist tighter as she went to pull back, holding her girlfriend close as she locked their lips together again, sucking Christen’s bottom lip into her mouth and pulling back slowly. A smark grew on her lips as the cheerleader let out a small whimper at the feeling of Tobin’s teeth tugging on her lip. Tobin’s left hand fell into the back pocket of Christen’s jeans as they kissed maybe a little  _ too _ passionately for being outside her family home. Neither was bothered though, knowing the property was large enough that no one would be close enough to see them. 

The kiss continued until a loud knocking on the window that looked out on the front of the property from the family room shook the two girls out of theri bubble. 

Christen turned quickly to find Tyler banging her fist on the window making kissy faces at the teens. Tobin blushed heavily, hoping that Christen’s parents hadn’t also been standing witness to their shared moment. “I’ll see you later babe.” Christen winked as she backed away from Tobin with a wink as she bit down on her bottom lip. 

“Love you, Chris.” Tobin smiled sweetly before stepping into her mom’s car and driving off.” 

  
  
  


Tobin was pleasantly surprised by how normal dinner felt with her mom. She wasn’t too naive to know there would be growing pains involved in mending their relationship, but she was grateful that the conversations between them were flowing easily and that her mom didn’t appear to be trying to overcompensate for her actions. 

They talked briefly about Christen, before discussing an update to Tobin’s training schedule that the younger girl was happy to take part in. 

In the end they decided that she wouldn’t be working out during her free periods at school any longer and would cut her morning workouts down to three days a week, and never on game days. She would alternate weeks for her additional training outside of her school team to avoid the constant burnout. Tobin knew she would still likely take part in the occasionally free period workout or training at lunch—but knowing that it wasn’t expected of her was all she needed. She wanted to work hard and she wanted to succeed and build a career out of soccer—but knowing that her effort lied in her own hands now was an indescribable feeling. 

  
  
  


Tobin’s new and improved training schedule not only worked wonders for her physical and mental health—but also her playing. She had burned through the schools records (most of which she’d set herself the year before) and played arguably the best highschool season anyone had ever seen. The National Team’s interest and confidence in the young winger grew tenfold over the fall months and Tobin found herself starting—and scoring—in the team’s final game of 2019, played in Florida at the beginning of December. 

Christen had watched from home, standing barely a foot back from the large television in her family's living room, dressed up proudly in the jersey Tobin had given her and a pair of the younger girl’s us soccer sweatpants. 

  
  


By mid November Tobin’s dad had filed for a divorce to no one’s surprise. He had only been back to the house one time since he had left to grab as many of his things as he could while Tobin was at school and her mother at work. 

Her and her mom had worked through many of their issues—they were communicating healthily. 

They attended Sunday services together and most often spent the rest of the day at home, Tobin no longer training on Sunday’s and instead spending the day drawing or simply being with her mom. 

She had yet to bring Christen over—still slightly weary of any possible conflicts that could arise no matter how often her mother asked about the other girl and assured her she was so happy for her and her relationship.

“Christmas,” Tobin conceded at the beginning of the month. “I want to bring Christen over for Christmas with us, or Christmas Eve, depending what her plans with her family are. Would that be okay?” 

Cindy had been quick to agree—jumping into an inquisition about Christen’s food preferences, and if she preferred ham to turkey or vice versa. 

“I really can’t wait to meet her, sweetheart! This will be so lovely.” 

  
  
  


By mid December, Christen had submitted her applications to Stanford after writing and rewriting her admissions essay nearly five times before Tobin assured her that she had it right the first time—she had written a seventh and final copy before realizing her girlfriend had been right all along. 

“Chris, baby you can’t pace in circles until April. Come lay down with me.” 

“No—no no I can’t sit still right now I need to do something to distract me. I—I need to move I need to—”

“Chris.” Tobin stood from her place on the cheerleader’s bed, quickly putting her hands atop Christen’s shoulders and stopping her in her place. 

“Come with me. Grab some shoes and let’s go.” 

“Where are we going?” Christen’s eyes were panicked and her eyebrows were knit together as she met Tobin’s calm brown eyes. 

“Just trust me.” 

  
  


And trust her she did. 

Tobin grabbed the keys the Christen’s BMW, earning no argument from her girlfriend as the headed off to an unknown location. 

Tobin seemed to know where she was going—although Christen ran out of guesses after they had been driving for nearly forty-five minutes. 

“Tobbyyyyy I don’t like surprises. Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see. We’re almost there baby.” 

  
  


It turned out that  _ there _ was a large field of wildflowers that Christen had no idea existed. 

“Toby... how did you know about this place? It’s so beautiful—” 

“My mom took me here once years ago because I was going through a phase of painting flowers. I thought you’d like it. 

Tobin had a calm smile on her face as she took Christen’s hand—walking them both towards the middle of her field. 

Their hands swung between them freely, all the anxiety flooded out and away from Christen’s body as quickly as it had entered her. There was the lightest breeze, so light that it was hardly strong enough to push Christen’s curls away from her face, but enough to send tingles down both of their spines as the air tickled the skin of their necks. 

“What are we gonna do here?” Christen asked sweetly, admiring the way the mid-afternoon sun was shining down and reflecting off of Tobin’s smooth, tan skin. 

“We are just going to  _ be. _ ” Tobin stated simply, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. “ _ You _ my love, are going to just  _ be here _ and look beautiful, while I take a thousand photos of you looking perfect as ever while I document the day you applied to your dream school. And then, in April, when you get your acceptance letter in the mail, we’re gonna come back here, and I’m going to take your picture again while you’re smiling from ear to ear and listening to me tell you for the thousandth time how proud I am of you.” 

If eyes could speak, Christen’s would be screaming to the heavens, thanking them for bringing this incredible girl into her life. One who calmed her storms and made her feel like she could breathe when only seconds before it felt like the air was being forced out of her lungs. This girl who only needed to flash half of her perfect white smile for Christen to feel like nothing bad in the world could reach her. 

“Tobin—” 

“Sh. It’s time for you to  _ be _ . The sun is in the perfect place right now so just—be here and be you and smile for the camera if you want, but I’m going to take your picture whether you’re smiling or not.” 

Christen couldn’t stop her face from morphing into the biggest smile she’d ever worn. Her nose scrunched up and her eyes were rimmed with the lines of her cheeks pressing higher than they’d ever been. Her eyes were nearly shut with how powerful her smile was but they remained open just enough for the camera on Tobin’s phone to capture their beautiful and ethereal shade of green and gold. 

Christen skipped around the field carefully, avoiding crushing any of the beautiful flowers as Tobin took photo after photo—some were blurry, in some she had her eyes closed and mouth wide open—and others looked like they could have come from a magazine. Christen’s eyes stayed focused on Tobin’s never once straying to the lens of the camera on her phone no matter how many times Tobin asked. 

“I like your eyes better than the lense.” The cheerleader had teased, before turning on her heels and skipping away again. 

They spent nearly an hour running around before Christen suddenly laid down in the field—motioning for Tobin to join her. 

The soccer player slowly made her way over, snapping more pictures as she did until she was standing directly above Christen—holding her phone out and taking one last photo. Christen’s eyes were open and looking directly up into Tobin’s own, she was biting down ever so slightly on her bottom lip with a soft smile curling upwards. 

She looked perfect. 

More perfect than any human had any right to be in Tobin’s mind. 

  
  


They stayed out late, talking about everything and nothing, kissing in the back seat of Christen’s BMW they had parked at a look out not far from the wildflower field—until their lungs were void of oxygen and they couldn’t help but break away for air. 

“I’m going to miss you so much next year…” Tobin admitted out of the blue. “I don’t want to start thinking about it yet because I know it’s a while away and that you could be going somewhere a lot further away than Stanford. But it’s weird thinking about not being able to see you every day.” 

“Oh god don’t even get me started on that—I started crying about that already the other day when I was writing my essay. I’m going to miss you so much too Tobs… every single day. I’ll come visit whenever I can.”

“Me too, baby. We’ll make it work.” 

“Have you talked to the UNC coach anymore since everything went down with your parents?” 

“Yeah I was actually gonna talk to you about that but I didn’t want to take any focus away from my Stanford girlfriend.” 

“Okay cheeseball, I’m no Stanford girlfriend yet, but what’d he say?” 

“I’m gonna make a trip there when school ends for a proper face to face meeting and to train with some of the players that will still be around and then I’ll make my decision from there. I mean I’m basically sold already anyway but it will be nice to have a face to face meeting and see it all with my own two eyes—It’s been a couple years since I’ve been there.” 

“And what about the coach in France? Have you talked to him any more?” 

“I have a phone meeting with him next week where I’ll explain that I’m likely going to go the college route. He’ll throw some dollar signs my way and I will politely decline and say this is the best decision for me personally while recognizing how lucky I am to have this opportunity with PSG.” 

“I’m really proud of you, T. For making the decision that feels right to you.”

“Proud enough that you’d wear a UNC jersey when we play Stanford?”

“Hmmm that’s a tough one...I’ll have to get back to you on that.” Christen teased with a huge grin on her face.

“Have I ever told you how hot you are in my jerseys?” Tobin countered, leaning over Christen and pressing her body against hers as she began kissing up her neck. 

“Is that right?” The cheerleader breathed out, grasping at the soft fabric of Tobin’s sweatshirt as the soccer player’s thigh fell between her legs. 

“Mhmm,” Tobin grinned into smooth skin as Christen’s breathing became laboured. “It kind of turns me on.” The younger girl admitted confidently as she pushed Christen’s shirt up above her breasts that she hadn’t covered with a bra today. 

“Tobin—” The older girl sighed as her girlfriend worked her up quickly, unbuttoning her own jeans and attempting to tug them down on her own with Tobin’s body on top of hers. 

Unable to get them over her thighs with Tobin’s own leg still wedged between her own, Christen quickly became impatient, pulling Tobin’s head up from her chest with a forceful hand on the back of her neck so that she could speak into her ear. “Tobin—fuck me, please… I need you now—”

Tobin was fairly certain she would never be able to turn down a request—or really a command—like that no matter how hard she tried. Seconds later Christen jeans were at her ankles as Tobin swiftly slipped a hand below her lace undies and did just as she was told. 

  
  


In the blink of an eye it’s Christmas and everything falls into place. 

Tobin goes over to Christen’s house for Christmas eve and Christen joins Tobin and her mom and their house on Christmas morning. Their meeting goes smoothly as Tobin knew it would—she knew she had allowed enough time to pass that nothing felt awkward or forced. Christen was her usual kind and charming self and Cindy was more than thrilled to finally be meeting the girl who had made her daughter so happy.

Christen gifts Tobin a Camera—knowing how much the younger girl had been interested in expanding her photography. Tobin gives Christen a necklace—it’s nothing flashy—just a thin gold chain with a small diamond hanging in the center. It’s beautiful, and simple, and exactly Christen’s type. 

The three women spend the morning making a large breakfast of pancakes and waffles—more than they will ever be able to eat between the three of them. Tobin decides they should bring the many leftovers to a nearby shelter—so they pile stacks of breakfast foods wrapped in tinfoil and set of in search of somewhere to provide some extra Christmas cheer. 

It’s the perfect day. 

The kind of day that Tobin had only dreamed of for the past few years. 

The kind of day that felt like that perfect dream that you pray you’ll never wake up from. 

But she did wake up. And life went on. 

Christen came over more regularly and Tobin continued to train, preparing herself for January camp with the National Team which would be a huge deciding factor in her making the upcoming World Cup squad. 

Everything was how it should be, and everyone was as happy as they’d ever been. 

  
  



End file.
